LIFE

My step-mom died on November 16th.  She was only 59, but if you didn't know her, you would think that she was a lot older than that.   I hadn't had much contact with her since my dad died in 2001, but had seen her more in recent months.  She had started going to Bingo with one of her friends & I would see her there.  The last time I saw her...she was in Wal-Mart.  I talked to her briefly & she gave me a hug, but I couldn't talk longer, because I had a customer.  When I heard that she had died...I just lost it for awhile.  I think it was just because she was a part of my life when I was a kid?  Not sure. I just know that I hate death.  Too damn much of it in the past few months.  Freaks me out.  She was an OK person...she had her good & bad just like we all do.  Both her & my dad were married to others when they started seeing each other.  She was kind of good at breaking up homes.  Just who she was.  As I got older...things got a bit easier.   When I was young, I wasn't one of her favorites.  Though she didn't like dad being around my sisters & I at all really.  But I looked like my mom & she didn't like that.  Anyway...she had had surgery on her esophagus on that Tuesday before, then they had let her go home on Friday & she died Saturday morning.  They did an autopsy on Monday.  They said that she was full of infection & that there was no way that she just had it for 4 days.  So the doctors messed up somewhere.  They should have caught it during pre-op, they should have caught it during surgery, they should have caught it when she was in the hospital for those days...but they didn't.  They cremated her, which shocked me.  I don't know if that's what she would have wanted or not.  She has a plot next to my dad.  When her kids went down to the funeral home, they told her that she had never paid for my dad's plot or the funeral.  That was so like her.  I didn't think she had.  A few months after he died, she was off to Europe.  She had also gone to Australia & came back with another guy, who she ended up marrying.  I don't think he'll stay around here now...but don't know.  She was one of those people who couldn't be alone.  So they had to agree to pay the $6,000 still owed in monthly payments, PLUS pay for her plot & burial as well.  She loved owls & they found an owl urn.  Thought that was pretty cool.  There is already a tombstone there with both of their names on it.  I went to the memorial service that they had at the cemetery.  It was snowing hard.  Was very cold after!  I hope that she finds some kind of peace.  I don't think she had much in this life.

I don't know if you have seen the "gofundme" icon on my main page.  I'm trying to help mom get a tombstone for my step-dad since she can't afford it.  I'm also asking for help at getting a new car.  It doesn't have to be brand new.  But also has to be in good condition.  So if you would like to help....it would be so much appreciated.  If not, I understand.  Times are hard for everyone.