.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
LOSING GOOD & BAD
I had my MRI done. They said my brain looks OK, but that I have a bulging disc at C4 & C5 in my neck.:( Guess that would explain why it has hurt so much off and on for over a year. It doesn't hurt all the time, but when it does..gives me headaches and makes me nauseous. I see the doctor again next Wednesday to talk about my options. At least I know what the problem is and can work on it now.
Still doing well on the low carb. I have surprised myself. I weigh again on Monday. I had noticed that I haven't been nauseous in the mornings since I started low carb...which is awesome. Get tired of feeling like crap every morning. But last night, my mom and step-dad ordered pizza and I had 2 slices...my first "slip up" in 10 days. This morning, I'm nauseous.:( I'm just glad that I'm not beating myself up for the pizza. Before, I would just say "fuck it, I've already blew it, so I might as well just eat."
My mortgage company has been trying to work with me, so I wouldn't lose my house. Well I have faxed everything they have wanted me to and was waiting to hear from them. When I didn't, I called them yesterday. The main person I needed to talk to wasn't there and I need to call back on Monday, but the guy I talked to said my house is in foreclosure status!!! My ex is supposed to pay the house payment thru next March and he hasn't been, since I have been trying to get lower payments. We were behind before then. So right now, I'm probably like 8 months behind. The guy I talked to said they will probably give me 3 options. To pay the house off..yeah right..we still owe like $93,000. Option 2: to pay all the back payments that we owe...which would be like $8,000...which I don't have OR do a "short sale." OK, the kids and I have no place to go. I'm on the list for Section 8 housing and have been since last August..I called them in May and I was #41 on the list...I called them yesterday and I'm STILL #41!! So I won't even be up for that for at least another year or so. Rent around here is like $1,000 a month and up. If I can't afford $800 a month in mortgage, I sure as hell can't afford that. I'm kind of freaking. I will just have to wait and talk to them and see what they say, I guess. Hopefully I won't lose this house.
Still doing well on the low carb. I have surprised myself. I weigh again on Monday. I had noticed that I haven't been nauseous in the mornings since I started low carb...which is awesome. Get tired of feeling like crap every morning. But last night, my mom and step-dad ordered pizza and I had 2 slices...my first "slip up" in 10 days. This morning, I'm nauseous.:( I'm just glad that I'm not beating myself up for the pizza. Before, I would just say "fuck it, I've already blew it, so I might as well just eat."
My mortgage company has been trying to work with me, so I wouldn't lose my house. Well I have faxed everything they have wanted me to and was waiting to hear from them. When I didn't, I called them yesterday. The main person I needed to talk to wasn't there and I need to call back on Monday, but the guy I talked to said my house is in foreclosure status!!! My ex is supposed to pay the house payment thru next March and he hasn't been, since I have been trying to get lower payments. We were behind before then. So right now, I'm probably like 8 months behind. The guy I talked to said they will probably give me 3 options. To pay the house off..yeah right..we still owe like $93,000. Option 2: to pay all the back payments that we owe...which would be like $8,000...which I don't have OR do a "short sale." OK, the kids and I have no place to go. I'm on the list for Section 8 housing and have been since last August..I called them in May and I was #41 on the list...I called them yesterday and I'm STILL #41!! So I won't even be up for that for at least another year or so. Rent around here is like $1,000 a month and up. If I can't afford $800 a month in mortgage, I sure as hell can't afford that. I'm kind of freaking. I will just have to wait and talk to them and see what they say, I guess. Hopefully I won't lose this house.
Monday, July 25, 2011
WEIGHT UPDATE
I forgot to put my weight in my last post!LOL I have been doing really good at low carb. This is day 6. It's been a little hard, because I don't have any money until Friday, so I can't buy anything. I can't eat eggs anymore, because they make me sick to my stomach. So I haven't been eating a lot, but when I do, it's low carb. I am now at 305, so I lost 3 lbs this week.:) My 25th year class reunion is next June, so I figure if I can lose at least 3 lbs a week, then I will be able to be around 165 by then. That's pushing it though. I'm just happy with this weeks' weight loss.:) So hopefully next week, I will be 302 or below.
MRI
I'm getting my MRI done in a little while. Kinda nervous about it. Plus I don't like being in enclosed spaces, so that should be interesting.LOL I know that things will be OK.
I didn't tell you in my last post, but my best friend when I was growing up, a girl named Tracy, we were pretty much inseparable. We were always over at each others'houses etc. Her parents were like my second parents. Her dad made life sized statues out of bronze and sold them for quite a bit of money at art sales around the country. They had a place here and one in Florida. Her dad had heart surgery in May and just really never recovered from that and was kept in a medically induced coma. They moved him to a different hospital at the end of June. He died of a heart attack on July 5th.:( It's sad that I didn't get to say good-bye or see him one last time. But I couldn't afford to fly to Florida. Her mom is taking it really hard. There was never much affection in that family when I was there..no hugging, kissing, I love yous, etc. But I know that her parents loved each other and it must be really hard for her mom right now. She's totally lost. Tracy and her husband are planning on taking over the business (if her mom will let her). She can make things out of bronze as well. So I guess they'll be moving to Florida sometime soon. Tracy had lived in Florida for awhile when she was married the first time. Her husband was abusive, so she took her two kids and came back to Colorado. She met a guy here (they are the ones that got married in Vegas last July that I wrote about). Her kids are teens now. I hope everything works out for them. I think this time is good for Tracy and her mom. They have never been close and her mom didn't treat her the best when we were growing up. She was always grounded. Was told that she should get whichever guy she could, because she wasn't pretty enough to get many guys. Her mom didn't want a girl in the first place, she wanted a boy, but Tracy came first. Rodd came later. So she doted on Rodd. Tracys' dad tried to make it up to Tracy by giving her money and things when she needed it. Just a weird situation.
Mike B called the other night..shocked me. So I went and hung out with him Friday night. He's a cool guy, but not my type. He's shorter than me and thin. I feel like an Amazon!LOL Plus he drinks too much and too often.
I heard from one of my 'friends' that some woman here in town was calling me a slut. I don't know what the hell that is about. I sent her a message saying she needed to say it to my face, considering she doesn't even know me. She wrote back and said that she never said any of those things, that HE instigated the talk and that HE called me that. So I don't know who I'm supposed to believe. He wasn't that good of a friend. I don't go out with people in this town for that reason. Go out with someone once and you're fucking everyone.
Then my ex-brother-in-law, Tad...he was married to my youngest sister Cindy at one time. Anyway, he has been a friend for years. I don't feel anything else for him. This isn't a friggin' Springer show. But he's been after me for years now. He says I lead him on...if I'm talking too nice to him or whatever, I guess. So I quit talking to him much, quit answering his texts, etc. Well then on one of the friend sites yesterday, he sends me a question asking how I feel about him and everything.:( I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he KNOWS that I don't feel that way dammit. I don't want to even deal with this. It's ridiculous. He's a nice guy and everything, but not for me. He's just lonely. He has told people in the past that he's in love with me. That's what caused all the problems in the first place. Whatever, ya know?
I didn't tell you in my last post, but my best friend when I was growing up, a girl named Tracy, we were pretty much inseparable. We were always over at each others'houses etc. Her parents were like my second parents. Her dad made life sized statues out of bronze and sold them for quite a bit of money at art sales around the country. They had a place here and one in Florida. Her dad had heart surgery in May and just really never recovered from that and was kept in a medically induced coma. They moved him to a different hospital at the end of June. He died of a heart attack on July 5th.:( It's sad that I didn't get to say good-bye or see him one last time. But I couldn't afford to fly to Florida. Her mom is taking it really hard. There was never much affection in that family when I was there..no hugging, kissing, I love yous, etc. But I know that her parents loved each other and it must be really hard for her mom right now. She's totally lost. Tracy and her husband are planning on taking over the business (if her mom will let her). She can make things out of bronze as well. So I guess they'll be moving to Florida sometime soon. Tracy had lived in Florida for awhile when she was married the first time. Her husband was abusive, so she took her two kids and came back to Colorado. She met a guy here (they are the ones that got married in Vegas last July that I wrote about). Her kids are teens now. I hope everything works out for them. I think this time is good for Tracy and her mom. They have never been close and her mom didn't treat her the best when we were growing up. She was always grounded. Was told that she should get whichever guy she could, because she wasn't pretty enough to get many guys. Her mom didn't want a girl in the first place, she wanted a boy, but Tracy came first. Rodd came later. So she doted on Rodd. Tracys' dad tried to make it up to Tracy by giving her money and things when she needed it. Just a weird situation.
Mike B called the other night..shocked me. So I went and hung out with him Friday night. He's a cool guy, but not my type. He's shorter than me and thin. I feel like an Amazon!LOL Plus he drinks too much and too often.
I heard from one of my 'friends' that some woman here in town was calling me a slut. I don't know what the hell that is about. I sent her a message saying she needed to say it to my face, considering she doesn't even know me. She wrote back and said that she never said any of those things, that HE instigated the talk and that HE called me that. So I don't know who I'm supposed to believe. He wasn't that good of a friend. I don't go out with people in this town for that reason. Go out with someone once and you're fucking everyone.
Then my ex-brother-in-law, Tad...he was married to my youngest sister Cindy at one time. Anyway, he has been a friend for years. I don't feel anything else for him. This isn't a friggin' Springer show. But he's been after me for years now. He says I lead him on...if I'm talking too nice to him or whatever, I guess. So I quit talking to him much, quit answering his texts, etc. Well then on one of the friend sites yesterday, he sends me a question asking how I feel about him and everything.:( I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he KNOWS that I don't feel that way dammit. I don't want to even deal with this. It's ridiculous. He's a nice guy and everything, but not for me. He's just lonely. He has told people in the past that he's in love with me. That's what caused all the problems in the first place. Whatever, ya know?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
UPDATE...
Hi everyone!:) I have missed writing here...I have just been lazy. I have a lot to tell you. First of all..my weight is still about the same. Just haven't had the discipline. But then saw a few pics of me...OMG! So am back on low carb..only on 2nd day...but already feel sooo much better! Not sluggish, tired, my stomach doesn't hurt. I have energy! Right now, I want to lose 13 lbs..that would put me at 295 and then go from there. Little goals, ya know? Plus on the 17th, I wasn't feeling very well and at one point couldn't move my fingers on my left hand! So went to the ER. The did a CAT scan on my brain and that came back OK. He said it could just be a pinched nerve, but he couldn't rule out a mini stroke.:( I went to my regular doctor the next day and he wants me to get an MRI done on my head and neck to see if there are any blockages. So that is scheduled for the 25th. Hopefully all is good. So I just feel that I need to lose weight and get healthier. I need and want to be around for my kids.
This hasn't been the best year for my mom and step-dads' health..well my step-dad was OK until earlier this month. First, I will tell you that mom is doing pretty good. She doesn't wear her sling as much. She still has some pain, but probably will for awhile. She goes to physical therapy 2-3x a week. OK, my step-dad...Duke...first went to the hospital by ambulance on the 5th. He couldn't move is leg and was in a lot of pain. Well they said that it's "probably" gout. Anyway, a couple of weeks later..he now has to use a cane and/or walker...the doctor gives him 3 new medications to take. He takes them for the first time on the morning of the 14th. He has a major allergic reaction (though we didn't know that's what it was at the time). He fell in the bathroom, was incoherent, was having a hard time breathing, was sweating. I was down there luckily and called for the ambulance. Went and saw him at the hospital and he looked BAD. They had oxygen on him, he couldn't really talk, was really red, was cold and clammy. He has heart problems as it is, so this didn't help. They kept him overnight and luckily he's OK now. But within a month..well it's just hard to see him having to use a cane! He's 64 and mom is 61. So actually not that old. It freaks me out.
I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but I'm on Tagged.com. It's kinda like a dating site, but really just a friend site. I love it. Anyway, I formed a group on there called "Colorado Friends." There are over 400 members now. Some of us decided to get together for a barbecue on the 16th at a park in Colorado Springs. It went really well. Only about 16 people showed up, but since this was the first one, I'm not too worried about it. We plan on having more in the future. It was cool meeting new people.:) I stayed the night at one of the guys' houses...Ken. Nothing happened! Yep, couldn't really believe it either. Well he's a nudist...so to each his own. I told him it was OK with me if he wanted to walk around his own house naked. Which he did. It was a little strange at first, but then it was no big deal. I kept my clothes on. I'm just not THAT comfortable with my body. He's a cool guy and hopefully we will stay friends, but I don't feel any attraction and I'm pretty sure he doesn't either. Whether it's my weight or not, I don't know. But we all have our preferences.
OK..the guy situation...Arturo called me last month and told me that they were sending my letters back to him! So he wanted to know if I was just denying them. I'm not. So now they won't even let our letters go thru to each other.:( I'm sure his dad had something to do with that. I haven't heard from him in about a month now. Maybe he'll call again sometime, but us not even being able to write to each other...well I guess that part of my life is over.:(
I went to see Ron the first weekend in July. We had an OK time, but he pretty much annoyed me beyond belief. Just a personality clash I guess. I like him and didn't want to "end it." Just wanted to see how it went. Well at one time I did tell him that if he found someone else closer, to tell me. Okay..so on the night of the 14th...he knows my step-dad is sick..he still tells me that he loves me. The NEXT day, I get a text saying that it's over, that he found someone else and he wishes me luck!! WTF???!! I asked how long he had been lying to me and he said he wasn't a liar. I said "you just told me last night that you loved me, so that makes you a fucking liar and you did this when you know how sick my step-dad is, so that makes you an asshole too!" He didn't reply to that. I deleted him from my facebook and tagged pages. His roommate sent me a message on facebook later and said that he had met this girl THAT day and that he actually texted me from the bar while she was sitting right there! Obviously I didn't mean crap to him at all. He told me at one point in the earlier conversation that we could still be friends. I think not! Geez. He didn't even have the balls to call me and break up with me! Total jerk.
I still text Bruce and Chris, but not as much as I should. I'm really bad about calling people or texting.:(
Guess that's it for now...I'm sure that's plenty!!LOL Hopefully taking the boys to Nebraska next month to see their aunt. Talk soon.
This hasn't been the best year for my mom and step-dads' health..well my step-dad was OK until earlier this month. First, I will tell you that mom is doing pretty good. She doesn't wear her sling as much. She still has some pain, but probably will for awhile. She goes to physical therapy 2-3x a week. OK, my step-dad...Duke...first went to the hospital by ambulance on the 5th. He couldn't move is leg and was in a lot of pain. Well they said that it's "probably" gout. Anyway, a couple of weeks later..he now has to use a cane and/or walker...the doctor gives him 3 new medications to take. He takes them for the first time on the morning of the 14th. He has a major allergic reaction (though we didn't know that's what it was at the time). He fell in the bathroom, was incoherent, was having a hard time breathing, was sweating. I was down there luckily and called for the ambulance. Went and saw him at the hospital and he looked BAD. They had oxygen on him, he couldn't really talk, was really red, was cold and clammy. He has heart problems as it is, so this didn't help. They kept him overnight and luckily he's OK now. But within a month..well it's just hard to see him having to use a cane! He's 64 and mom is 61. So actually not that old. It freaks me out.
I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but I'm on Tagged.com. It's kinda like a dating site, but really just a friend site. I love it. Anyway, I formed a group on there called "Colorado Friends." There are over 400 members now. Some of us decided to get together for a barbecue on the 16th at a park in Colorado Springs. It went really well. Only about 16 people showed up, but since this was the first one, I'm not too worried about it. We plan on having more in the future. It was cool meeting new people.:) I stayed the night at one of the guys' houses...Ken. Nothing happened! Yep, couldn't really believe it either. Well he's a nudist...so to each his own. I told him it was OK with me if he wanted to walk around his own house naked. Which he did. It was a little strange at first, but then it was no big deal. I kept my clothes on. I'm just not THAT comfortable with my body. He's a cool guy and hopefully we will stay friends, but I don't feel any attraction and I'm pretty sure he doesn't either. Whether it's my weight or not, I don't know. But we all have our preferences.
OK..the guy situation...Arturo called me last month and told me that they were sending my letters back to him! So he wanted to know if I was just denying them. I'm not. So now they won't even let our letters go thru to each other.:( I'm sure his dad had something to do with that. I haven't heard from him in about a month now. Maybe he'll call again sometime, but us not even being able to write to each other...well I guess that part of my life is over.:(
I went to see Ron the first weekend in July. We had an OK time, but he pretty much annoyed me beyond belief. Just a personality clash I guess. I like him and didn't want to "end it." Just wanted to see how it went. Well at one time I did tell him that if he found someone else closer, to tell me. Okay..so on the night of the 14th...he knows my step-dad is sick..he still tells me that he loves me. The NEXT day, I get a text saying that it's over, that he found someone else and he wishes me luck!! WTF???!! I asked how long he had been lying to me and he said he wasn't a liar. I said "you just told me last night that you loved me, so that makes you a fucking liar and you did this when you know how sick my step-dad is, so that makes you an asshole too!" He didn't reply to that. I deleted him from my facebook and tagged pages. His roommate sent me a message on facebook later and said that he had met this girl THAT day and that he actually texted me from the bar while she was sitting right there! Obviously I didn't mean crap to him at all. He told me at one point in the earlier conversation that we could still be friends. I think not! Geez. He didn't even have the balls to call me and break up with me! Total jerk.
I still text Bruce and Chris, but not as much as I should. I'm really bad about calling people or texting.:(
Guess that's it for now...I'm sure that's plenty!!LOL Hopefully taking the boys to Nebraska next month to see their aunt. Talk soon.
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