.

.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

GOOD NEWS & SAD NEWS

The sad news is that my step-dad is in the hospital & isn't doing very well.:(  He has end stage liver disease.  It's not from drinking or anything..it just is.  If you have followed my blog some, you know that he started getting sick in December & he has pretty much just gone downhill from there.  His daughter, Theresa, flew in yesterday from Texas.  She's a nurse, so she understands what's going on more than I probably do.  I don't know if he'll ever go back home or not.  He is really weak, dehydrated, isn't eating much, is sleeping a lot, etc.  I don't want him to die.:(  I hate that people have to die.  I hate that they have to be sick.  I can't imagine life without him.  He has been a great dad the past 16 years or so.  My mom will be lost without him.  She's holdimg up pretty well right now, but he's still around & she can go see him & talk to him.  It will be different once he's gone. Just didn't expect it to happen this quick, I guess.  He's only 67.

JM is in Scotland..and it hasn't been easy.  We text some & have talked on the phone a couple of times, but it's too expensive to talk much.  We don't text a lot either..which bothers me.  He has texted me though & has said some sweet things about missing me & all.  Just wish he was closer.  He may stay over there for a year..not sure yet.  He would come home at the end of June for a couple of weeks first though.  It will be nice to see him, but would hate him leaving again.  I ask for "signs' sometimes..to guide me or tell me what I should be doing.  I didn't really want him over there for a year, because I was planning on moving down there to be close to him & all.  All this stuff started going wrong with my house, etc.  Well I have been on the list for Section 8 housing for almost 3 years now..and nothing.  But I have also been on a list at these income based apartments for a couple of years.  They called me last week & said they will have a 3 bedroom upstairs apt available on June 1st.  I'm supposed to go sign some papers on Wednesday, look at the apt, etc.  So maybe he was supposed to stay there for a year & I'm supposed to live here for now.  I don't know.  Anyway, I hope it's a nice place.  It's going to take me forever to pack..I have soooo much stuff!  Some will go into storage, some to the new place, some to Good Will & the rest to trash.  Dave (my ex) has decided that if I move, then he will live in the house & take care of it & pay for it.,  His girlfriend, Christy will be living with him too.  I don't really care as long as they can take care of it.  The boys will be happy that they can still come here.  I will miss the house though.  It sucks that I will never own another house again.  I will just be renting for the rest of my life.

Monday, May 13, 2013

FMM: QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

wpid-friend-makin-monday-for-post3-300x179.jpg


If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!


1. Do you use coupons?  No, I'm too disorganized to do that...but I should.  I see a lot of people using coupons where I work & it saves quite a bit.
2. How often do you weigh yourself?  Way too often...most mornings even when I say I won't.  I would like to just weigh once a week...but just can't seem to wait that long.
3. What was your favorite TV show as a kid?  There were a few....Little House on the Praire, The Waltons, Eight is Enough, The Love Boat & Fantasy Island are a few...yep so showing my age.LOL
4. How often do you drink alcohol?  Whenever I get a chance to go out...so right now...every couple of months maybe, if that..which is depressing.
5. Have you ever met a celebrity or public figure that you really admire? No.:(
6. If you had to choose between only your cell phone or only your laptop all week which would you choose?  I love both...but guess will have to go with my cell.
7. What is your favorite brand of detergent?  Tide usually or whatever is cheap.:)
8. If there was a movie about your life, who would play the role?  I love Sandra Bullock, but she looks nothing like me.LOL  So not sure....
9. What book are you currently reading?  "Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife" by Eben Alexander M.D.  I read about that kind of thing from time to time..I would like to believe that we go on from here & just like hearing about other people's experiences.
10. If you could spend one day on vacation anywhere in the world, which place would you choose?  So many places...so little time.  At this point...I basically just want to go somewhere with white sands, blue oceans & drinks with little umbrellas in them.:)  Oh yeah & in this perfect picture...I would be like 100+ pounds thinner.:)

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments, and say hi to someone new! Happy Monday!

MONDAY

For all the mom's out there...hope you had a good Mother's Day.:)  I had to work until 3:00pm, then came home for a bit.  Took my mom out to dinner at the church...they were having a free dinner for Mother's Day...they had it set up really nice.  We had spaghetti, which was awesome.:)   The boys were with Dave...then they went with their aunt to get some new clothes.  I didn't get them until like around 8:00, which I wasn't too happy about.  Then Dave is like "well you should have told me that you wanted them sooner."  Really??? 

The doctor raised my Mirapex (for my Restless Leg Syndrome) to 1 mg.  Well...it totally wipes me out..which is what I expected, since I have been taking .75 mg for awhile now...so I sleep at night..but then it has made me really tired during the day too.   Yesterday at work, I would have been very happy to just lay down on the floor & take a nap!LOL  Plus I was really nauseous & felt pretty crappy.  I don't know if that is just a huge side effect of the higher dose or what.  I didn't take one last night, because I didn't want to feel horrible today. 

JM's flight leaves Denver at 6:00pm on Saturday...his cousin is giving him a ride up there, so they have to leave at noon...which sucks...he can't watch the boys bowl at all.  I'm going down on Thursday morning, so that I can at least spend one full day with him, then the boys will ride down with their aunt on Friday & they can spend time with JM & I that night for while.  Then I will take them back to the hotel & stay with them.  Their aunt & Dave will be there...but he'll have his own room, which is a good thing.  It sucks that I won't get to spend more time with JM before he leaves, but not much I can do about it.  I'm happy that he gets to do something that is on his Bucket List, but also feeling a bit selfish because he's going to be so far away...and I know I won't be able to talk to him as much for over a month.  Oh well.  It is what it is.

I got a letter in the mail the other day from the insurance company that insures my house.  They had come out a month or so ago to look at things.  Well my house is falling apart on the outside.  The roof isn't the best now, the siding is crap, etc.  Well that's also basically what they said & that I need to get a new roof & siding on the house before July 30th, or they won't insure me.  With what am I supposed to do that???  I have no money to get it fixed, if I did, it would have been done already.  So if it's not insured, then the mortgage company won't deal with me either.  For now, I'm on a 3 month trial period with them where I have to make certain payments on the first of each month & then will see from there.  I haven't been sure if I wanted to live here or not & have been praying about it some...so is this a sign that I shouldn't live here anymore & should move on?  I have no idea.  I know it will play out like it is supposed to though.  Just gets frustrating at times.  

The guy from Wal Mart...Jim..who asked for my number DID call at one point, but it didn't show up that he did.  The only reason that I know that, is because he came into Wal Mart again the other day & he gave me his number so I could just call him.  I texted him & we talked briefly..so will see if he would like to hang out sometime as friends.  Then another guy..Mark who comes into Wal Mart every now & then has my number & has called a few times in the past day or so..just haven't been able to talk to him yet.  It's nice to have guys who are interested..or seem to be...but I totally love JM.  So, again, will just have to see how things unfold.

I"ve been doing so- so on my diet.  I lose a couple of pounds, gain them back, lose a bit, etc.  It gets soooo frustrating.  There is a woman at work..she's older..so maybe that makes a difference....she has lost more weight & says "It's great, because I'm not even trying!"  The another girl who is totally thin anyway, but still trying to lose weight, has lost 9 lbs.  But she is eating between 750-1,000 calories a day.  I don't think I could go that low.  I know that I would totally binge at night if I tried.    I think I actually get most of my calories at night.:(  So they're losing all of this weight effortlessly...and I'm doing crazy aerobics for almost an hour a day & trying to keep my calories at least below 1700 & the scale barely moves!!!  It upsets me a lot.  Feel like giving up at times, but haven't yet & don't really plan to.  Just need to be patient & try a bit harder, I guess.

 

Monday, May 6, 2013

FMM: A LITTLE ABOUT ME


wpid-friend-makin-monday-for-post3-300x179.jpg


If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!


A Little About Me
 
 
1. Have you ever experienced love at first sight?  I don't think so...lust at first sight...definitely.
2. What channel is your TV on most? I record a lot of my shows...but I would have to say probably Lifetime or Sci-Fi.
3. Share one quality that you’re proud to have.  That I'm nice...though sometimes that's a bad thing too.
4. Describe your idea of a great evening.  Going to dinner & a movie is always fun.:)  But I also just like staying in & playing a card game/board game with my family and/or friends.:)
5. If your friends were asked to describe you in three words, which words would they choose?  Nice, funny, crazy.  I guess those would be the words they would use.LOL
6. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas!
7. If you could change one thing that would make your life easier instantly, what would it be?  I would change my spending habits...having extra money would be nice.
8. What is one healthy food that you crave?  Definitely watermelon.
9. Do you wear socks when you sleep?  Yes...I wear socks most of the time.
10. Share at least three things for which you are thankful.  My health, my family, that I have a roof over my head.

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments. Happy Monday

FMM: ABC'S OF ME

wpid-friend-makin-monday-for-post3-300x179.jpg


If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!


FMM: ABC’s of Me
 
 
Here’s how it works…you’ll choose topics about yourself, your likes, dislikes, etc. according to each letter in the alphabet, and share a little with us. Oh shhh…you know you love it. ;)

A) Autumn is my favorite time of year.
B) Beverly is the sister I get along with the best.
C) I live in Colorado.
D) David is my ex-husband's name.
E) Eating has been my comfort most of my life...not so much anymore.
F) I don't have many Friends, but the ones I do have are important to me.
G) My maiden name was Gray.
H) Finding your Happiness is important.
I) I want to go to Ireland!!:)
J) Justine is my niece, but is a lot like a daughter to me as well.
K) My great-grandma was from Kansas.
L) Love is a confusing, complicated, sometimes frustrating emotion...but it's awesome anyway.:)
M) My mom has always been there for me, though we don't always get along.  I love her a lot.
N) Never give up on what you really want.
O) I would love to have a crazy, passionate love One more time in my life.
P) One of my fave colors is Purple.
Q) I definitely need my Quiet time...time where I can read, listen to my ipod or just chill.
R) I love the smell of Rain.
S) If I would have had a daughter, I would have named her Stephanie.
T) My name is Tammy.:)  Named after a song & movies of the 60's.
U) I live in the United States & I'm proud of it.
V) Valentine's Day can be a pretty depressing day if you don't have a significant other.
W) I Wish that everyone could live to be at least 90 & be healthy the whole time.
X) Xena is a cool name.
Y) I like the color Yellow...it's bright & reminds me of Summer...but don't like wearing Yellow shirts...I don't look good in them.
Z) I like being able to take my kids to the Zoo...but don't get to very often.


Now it’s your turn! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments!! Happy Monday friends!!!!!!!!

TIME MARCHES ON....

Things are going pretty well here...nothing too major going on.  My step-dad is getting sicker though.:(  It's hard to see.  He's just lost a lot of weight, can't see too well because of cataracts...getting those fixed soon, is on oxygen, is cold & tired a lot...and also is getting dementia, I believe.  I guess it goes along with all of what is going on with him..the doctor told them that it would be like that.  But he gets mean at times.  He's not too bad with me, but he's constantly yelling at my mom.  She's just trying to help.  It's a sad thing.  Taking care of terminally ill people isn't an easy thing to do.  I don't think he's accepted yet that he isn't going to get better.:(  I wish that he would.  Wish that some things never changed.  He finally got his will & everything done, which I know takes some of the stress off.  He has funeral arrangements made...or is trying to get them done.  It's horrible how much a funeral & everything that goes along with it, costs.:(  Sorry for being so morbid here, but it's just part of what is going on in my life right now.

That guy never did call me..which is fine.  I was good with him just asking for my number in the first place.LOL

I've been exercising & trying to eat better.  Not always an easy thing to do.  I took some pics in the mirror yesterday with just a bra & sweats on....it's hard seeing myself THAT fat when in my mind, I don't look like that.  Plus I guess that I think that I'm just going to magically be thinner because I've been exercising.  I know that it's not that simple.  It's hard not to get discouraged, but I will continue to exercise & keep my calories down.

My sister, Bev, texted yesterday.  I guess we will try to get together soon.  She says things will just continue to be crazy in her life right now..she's getting married in Florida next month..so getting that planned & all.  Plus I think her oldest daughter is giving her a lot of grief over the whole thing.  Teenagers can be pretty selfish for sure.