I don't have a drs. appt until the 31st, but she called me last Friday evening to talk to me about the results...never a good sign if you ask me. I missed her call, so had to wait until today...or I guess yesterday now since it's after midnight. The tests have come back negative...but when they took my blood & looked at it under a microscope...they could see that the eosinophils are still high. So I go back in today for more specialized blood tests. If THOSE come back negative (hopefully she will have the test results back by Friday)...then she's going to send me to a hematologist. If they aren't sure what is going on, most likely I will have to have a bone marrow biopsy.:( Yeah I know...fun. It could just be some kind of auto-immune disease that is causing this, it could be bone marrow cancer, it could be this thing called HES...which isn't great either. It gets progressively worse & can be fatal. It could affect multiple organs, I would have to take steroids to try to keep the eosinophils down. I really need to quit looking all of this stuff up on the internet. I'm just kinda freaking out here. I'm not ready to go yet. I don't want to be sick like that already...instead of when I'm older. I don't want Jeff to have to take care of me. Though he says he will always be here..that he's not going anywhere. Gotta love that. We have decided not to go to the therapist today & just try to work thru things on our own. Neither one of us felt comfortable talking to a total stranger about things like that. Will see how it all goes.
On a brighter note...today is my son, Dominic's, 12th birthday!! I can't believe that it's been 12 years already! I'm going to pick him up from school early & take him out to lunch. He's happy about that.:) My main present to him is on Feb. 17th when I take him to see Monday Night Raw in Denver.:)
It is snowing out now. You never know about this weather. It was really nice & Spring like a couple of days ago.
I have gained a pound this week.:( I'm just stressing over that. Though it's all on me, because Jeff says he loves me the way I am & that I don't have to change for him. I think that's awesome & amazing, but I need to do this for me. I will NOT settle for 290 lbs. I have exercised for the past 3 days, so am proud of myself for that. Just have to eat better. Hopefully I can do that after I get paid...slim pickings at the moment. I can't take a leave of absence at work...I didn't work enough hours last year to qualify...so am trying for personal leave. Otherwise I will have to quit & I don't really want to do that. I just don't feel great right now & don't want to be calling in all of the time. They have me scheduled for this weekend.:( Maybe I will hear back from the main company by then & not have to work it & be able to keep my job. Just go back in March or something. Money...well it wouldn't be easy...but if we budget, we could do it. I have never been good at budgeting, but I need to. Jeff is applying for a job here within the next few days. Hopefully he will get it & won't have to worry about it.
.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
DAYS.....
I have decided that I don't like the way my questions & answers from FMM look after I post them.:( Not sure what to do about it though. Any help would be appreciated. Or maybe that's just the way Blogspot is now?
Phillip is going in late today.:( He has a cold & would not get up this morning for the bus. My mom will have to come get him, since I'm without a vehicle. Hopefully that will change within the next month or so.
I started exercising again today. It's been awhile...I HAVE been going for walks with Jeff, but my weight just isn't going anywhere & it's frustrating. So started "Slim in 6" again today, which is kicking my butt. I had been doing it for awhile before & things were going well. Now...well it's just not an easy thing, but nothing worthwhile ever is. Hopefully this will help me drop weight faster. Right now, my first goal is 275 & I'm 289 now. I also don't want it to take me months to lose 14 lbs. I know that I let my weight define who I am. Jeff says I'm always talking about my weight. Which I guess is true. I'm either obsessing about my weight or food it seems. I actually think I pulled a muscle in my back exercising this morning.:( It's hurting quite a bit at the moment. But I have pain of one sort or another all the time. I know that a lot of people don't believe in Fibromyalgia, but it's a real thing & it sucks.
I went to the doctor last week & tests were negative. She is running a few more tests & I see her again on the 31st. She ordered more blood work, a chest x-ray & I have an ultrasound on my stomach scheduled for tomorrow morning. If all of that comes back negative, she said she would have to send me to a specialist to see what is going on. I'm like freaking out a bit. A white cell called Eosinophils are high. They are usually high in parasitic infections or allergic reactions. I have been checked for the parasites...that's the test that came back negative. It could be other things as well...but those two are the most common. They are usually like 5% or something & mine has been up to 29%. Get this...she said that they have been consistently high for awhile now. I'm like what?? She showed me my bloodwork that I had done in June & September as well. In June, they were like `16%, in September 11%, on December 21st when it was pretty crazy & I went to the ER it was 29% & then when I went back to the ER on December 27th, they were 18%. What I'm a bit pissed off about is if they have been consistently high....and it could go back even farther than last June...then why didn't they say anything or do something then?? I am NOT happy about that. Then they are also going to "keep an eye" on changes in my uterus as well. When they did the pelvic ultrasound to check for ovarian cysts, they found that there is some thickening there or whatever & if it gets any thicker, it might be an issue. I haven't had a period since the beginning of October. I already have my right ovary out, I'm not going to have anymore kids (tubes are tied), so they might as well just take everything out. But she doesn't want to do that yet...we'll just wait & see. Geez.
Jeff & I are going to go see a therapist on the 28th. I have some issues of my own, but also the whole lack of sex thing is the main reason we are going. He keeps telling me that it's not me, but who knows. So maybe this will clear some things up.
Phillip is going in late today.:( He has a cold & would not get up this morning for the bus. My mom will have to come get him, since I'm without a vehicle. Hopefully that will change within the next month or so.
I started exercising again today. It's been awhile...I HAVE been going for walks with Jeff, but my weight just isn't going anywhere & it's frustrating. So started "Slim in 6" again today, which is kicking my butt. I had been doing it for awhile before & things were going well. Now...well it's just not an easy thing, but nothing worthwhile ever is. Hopefully this will help me drop weight faster. Right now, my first goal is 275 & I'm 289 now. I also don't want it to take me months to lose 14 lbs. I know that I let my weight define who I am. Jeff says I'm always talking about my weight. Which I guess is true. I'm either obsessing about my weight or food it seems. I actually think I pulled a muscle in my back exercising this morning.:( It's hurting quite a bit at the moment. But I have pain of one sort or another all the time. I know that a lot of people don't believe in Fibromyalgia, but it's a real thing & it sucks.
I went to the doctor last week & tests were negative. She is running a few more tests & I see her again on the 31st. She ordered more blood work, a chest x-ray & I have an ultrasound on my stomach scheduled for tomorrow morning. If all of that comes back negative, she said she would have to send me to a specialist to see what is going on. I'm like freaking out a bit. A white cell called Eosinophils are high. They are usually high in parasitic infections or allergic reactions. I have been checked for the parasites...that's the test that came back negative. It could be other things as well...but those two are the most common. They are usually like 5% or something & mine has been up to 29%. Get this...she said that they have been consistently high for awhile now. I'm like what?? She showed me my bloodwork that I had done in June & September as well. In June, they were like `16%, in September 11%, on December 21st when it was pretty crazy & I went to the ER it was 29% & then when I went back to the ER on December 27th, they were 18%. What I'm a bit pissed off about is if they have been consistently high....and it could go back even farther than last June...then why didn't they say anything or do something then?? I am NOT happy about that. Then they are also going to "keep an eye" on changes in my uterus as well. When they did the pelvic ultrasound to check for ovarian cysts, they found that there is some thickening there or whatever & if it gets any thicker, it might be an issue. I haven't had a period since the beginning of October. I already have my right ovary out, I'm not going to have anymore kids (tubes are tied), so they might as well just take everything out. But she doesn't want to do that yet...we'll just wait & see. Geez.
Jeff & I are going to go see a therapist on the 28th. I have some issues of my own, but also the whole lack of sex thing is the main reason we are going. He keeps telling me that it's not me, but who knows. So maybe this will clear some things up.
FMM: QUICK & EASY QUESTIONS
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Quick and Easy Questions
1. What time did you go to bed last night? About 11:30 which is early for me.
2. What is the last thing that made you smile? Some pictures that I saw on Pinterest.
3. What is the last movie you watched? "The Heat" with Sandra Bullock & Melissa McCarthy. LOVED it! I hadn't laughed so much during a movie in a long time. Sandra is my girl crush, but Melissa is extremely funny. Will definitely watch it again in the future.
4. What did you have for breakfast today? I'm eating some Greek Yogurt right now. I don't usually eat breakfast though.
5. Would you rather mop all of your floors or do laundry? Neither?? LOL Will have to go with laundry...at least I can sit down to fold that.:)
6. Do you drink coffee? If I do, it's usually about once a day if that. I love coffee, but am out of my fave creamer right now.
7. Will you watch the Superbowl? Yes I will. Denver is my home team...but I like Seattle too...so whoever wins is cool with me.:) My fave team are the Saints though.
Thought this was soooo funny!!LOL
8. How often do you shop for groceries? I try to go for once a week...but pretty broke right now...so will see.
9. What kind of workout will you do today? I haven't been working out at all except for going for walks, but today I started "Slim in 6" again. I was doing it before & it was getting "easier," but stopped for quite awhile....now it's seriously kicking my ass.
10. Do you use a fitness tracker? I don't. I may think about getting one of those though.
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Don’r forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
FMM: TABOO TOPICS
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Taboo Topics
1. Are you a registered voter? Yes.
2. Do you believe in GOD? Yes I do. I think it would totally suck to just not exist anymore. I also believe in reincarnation. It makes sense. Why just get one chance to get things "right?"
3. How has your readership changed since you first began blogging? I don't know really. It says in my stats that quite a few people have read my blog, but it hasn't been that many & my members numbers haven't changed at all. So I guess a few people read it.
4. If you could choose between a serious relationship or $100,000, which would you choose? I'm in a serious relationship now. I wouldn't give him up for anything, though the cash would be awesome!
5. Have you ever changed political parties? I don't really care one way or the other where politics are concerned. I just like whomever seems the least corrupt.
6. If you were put in a position in which you had to be in a room with someone that you can’t stand, how would you handle the situation? I would try to be civil...but it would be very uncomfortable & I wouldn't really know what to say.
7. Do you ever eat in secret because you don’t want anyone to see what you consume? I used to. I hated eating in front of people. I still do sometimes, but not very often. I figure it's none of their business & if they have an issue, they can let me know.
8. Do you use curse words in your daily conversations? All the time. I don't mean to...it's just a habit now. I need to chill out some on it.
9. How much do you tip when you’ve had decent service at a restaurant? 15% usually. I don't leave a tip at all if the waitress is rude or doesn't come by to ask if we want more drinks or anything else. I have only done that a few times.
10. How do you respond when someone confronts you? I don't like confrontation AT ALL. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I have a hard time even watching some of reality TV because of the confrontations!!LOL I usually walk away, though I stand up for myself when it comes to doing that. I'm not going to just let anyone walk all over me. I used to be that way. When I get mad...I start crying.:( I hate it.
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments. Happy Monday!
THURSDAY
I couldn't think of a good title...geez.lol The boys are doing well. Phillip loves school! It's crazy! He doesn't give me any crap about getting up in the mornings. Which is amazing. He is making friends & enjoys his classes. I hope it stays that way. He joined Fencing after school on Wednesday nights. Kinda strange, but I'm just glad he's joining something.
I last worked on Tuesday. So far I'm not on schedule thru January 31st. Will see after that. I see the doctor again tomorrow. If they still have no idea what is going on, I will ask for a 2nd opinion or to see a specialist. I'm tired of feeling like this all the time. I can't eat much without feeling nauseous or being in pain. I HAVE lost a few pounds which is awesome! But I'm hungry!!LOL
Jeff went on a job interview in Colorado Springs last Saturday, but didn't get the job. They told him that he could work at the Game Stop in Canon City...which is like 60 miles from here...but since he doesn't have a place to live down there & nobody he could stay with for awhile...he, of course, didn't take it. He was gonig to stay down there for a week (come back this Saturday). But he came back last Monday instead. He said he missed me.:) I missed him as well. I was an emotional wreck up until him leaving. Yes I know...ridiculous. I know he needs/wants a job, but it would have sucked having him 2 hours away again. We may move in June after my lease is up. Not sure yet. Not many jobs around here.
I have been using hair chalk the past week. Just seeing if I want to do it permanently. I have tried pink which was just too pink!LOL I went to work with it last Saturday...that was interesting. Purple looks better. I tried blue & green...but I don't like how they look. Green is too light & blue makes my hair grayish...so that's a no go. I notice people treat me differently when my hair is a different color like that. I work at Wal Mart & have waited on the same people for over a year now. I can't put my finger on it really. Just that I can feel the change in them. It's ridiculous. It's just hair. Anyway I'm just happy that I could go out of my comfort zone & do that. I may get it done permanently soon. Not sure yet.
I was thinking about closing this blog & doing a new one. I haven't decided yet. If I do, I will let you know,
I last worked on Tuesday. So far I'm not on schedule thru January 31st. Will see after that. I see the doctor again tomorrow. If they still have no idea what is going on, I will ask for a 2nd opinion or to see a specialist. I'm tired of feeling like this all the time. I can't eat much without feeling nauseous or being in pain. I HAVE lost a few pounds which is awesome! But I'm hungry!!LOL
Jeff went on a job interview in Colorado Springs last Saturday, but didn't get the job. They told him that he could work at the Game Stop in Canon City...which is like 60 miles from here...but since he doesn't have a place to live down there & nobody he could stay with for awhile...he, of course, didn't take it. He was gonig to stay down there for a week (come back this Saturday). But he came back last Monday instead. He said he missed me.:) I missed him as well. I was an emotional wreck up until him leaving. Yes I know...ridiculous. I know he needs/wants a job, but it would have sucked having him 2 hours away again. We may move in June after my lease is up. Not sure yet. Not many jobs around here.
I have been using hair chalk the past week. Just seeing if I want to do it permanently. I have tried pink which was just too pink!LOL I went to work with it last Saturday...that was interesting. Purple looks better. I tried blue & green...but I don't like how they look. Green is too light & blue makes my hair grayish...so that's a no go. I notice people treat me differently when my hair is a different color like that. I work at Wal Mart & have waited on the same people for over a year now. I can't put my finger on it really. Just that I can feel the change in them. It's ridiculous. It's just hair. Anyway I'm just happy that I could go out of my comfort zone & do that. I may get it done permanently soon. Not sure yet.
I was thinking about closing this blog & doing a new one. I haven't decided yet. If I do, I will let you know,
Monday, January 6, 2014
FRIEND MAKING MONDAYS ARE BACK!
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Friend Makin’ Mondays
1. What has been your happiest moment in 2014 so far? Happiest moment....I would have to say kissing Jeff at midnight!
2. Share the last compliment you received. I had some colorful butterfly earrings on at work the other day that I got complimented on.
3. What is one thing that you plan to accomplish in the next week? Getting my hair done at the end of the week.
4. What is your favorite TV show currently on air? The Vampire Diaries AND The Blacklist...James Spader is AMAZING.
5. If you could go anywhere in the world free for the next two weeks, where you go? Ireland....have always wanted to go there, but also want to go to spend some time with my friend who recently lost his wife.
6. Describe a significant event in your life that caused you to change your values system. My step-dad dying last July. I felt that life was too short for crap before...even more so now. Say what you need to say, do what you need/want to do NOW....not when you have more time, money, etc.
7. What made you decide to live where you currently live? I was born & raised here. Came back when Phillip was still little...like 3 months old & have been here ever since. Not sure I want to STAY here though, but don't have a huge choice at the moment.
8. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about GOD? Goodness & light. I pray daily about whatever is on my mind.
9. If you could have a long conversation with someone famous (and alive now) who would you choose? I'm going to be shallow on this one!!:) Ian Somerhalder from The Vampire Diaries...he plays Damon...and I'm in love! Too bad there isn't a guy out there who is really like that (sans the whole vampire thing).;)
10. List three things that you’re thankful for today.
- Having my children healthy & happy...
- That I have an amazing boyfriend/best friend
- That I have another day to get things "right."
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions on your blog. Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments. I’ve been gone for a while, but I hope that you all will welcome me back into your blogging world. Happy Monday, and Happy New Year!
A NEW YEAR
Let's see where to begin....New Year's Eve was nice.:) I worked until 6:30pm & then went home. The boys did end up staying at mom's & all were good. Jeff & I hung out, ate pizza, played a board game, watched a few episodes of The Vampire Diaries & watched the ball drop in Times Square. I enjoyed it.
I found out later that one of my friend's in Ireland...his wife passed away.:( They have a 9 year old boy I believe. She had been sick for awhile, but it's still sad.
I was able to get in to see my doctor (finally) on the 3rd. OK...my white cell count is still a bit high. The Eosinophils are a white blood cell that make up about 5% of all white blood cells...well mine is 18%. It could be I'm having an allergic reaction to something, it could be leukemia, it could be a parasitic infection. GROSS on the last one! She asked if I had been out of the country...which, of course, I haven't. I looked it up & people can have parasites for years & not know it. It could come from contaminated water, food, etc. OK people I hate bugs of all types. I didn't watch the TV show "Monsters Inside Me," because it's just sooo disgusting that I don't even like thinking about it. Now I may have a PARASITE???! You can imagine that I'm trying not to think about THAT. I have to do a few tests this week & then have another appt on the 17th. I hate having to wait that long. If it's NOT a parasite, then there will be MORE tests to figure out what's going on. A great way to start out the New Year....but I just want to find out what's going on, so hopefully I will feel better. I missed work again yesterday. Just feel like crap basically. I know that I will probably get in some trouble for that, but I Facebooked the personnel manager yesterday & asked about taking a leave of absence until I can find out what's going on with me & getting better. I'm supposed to work today & she wants me to come in & get the paperwork started. My doctor will have to fill out some papers. I don't know how long I will take off & the fact that I won't be getting that money is kinda making me panicky, but I feel that I need to do this for myself. For my health, both mental & physical. Plus it's not fair that I keep calling in & then them having to deal with not having an employee there that was scheduled to work. If I kept calling in, I would get fired. There are two kinds of leave. One I could keep working, but when I called in, it would be covered or just take a full leave of absence...which I plan on doing. After I feel better, after I get a vehicle, etc...then will decide what I'm doing from there.
My dad has been gone 13 years (on the 3rd). It sometimes seems that long & other times...not so much. I still miss him immensely.
The boys start school again today....including Phillip. He's going to go to the alternative high school. I think I mentioned that. Will see how that goes. Dave is going to take him this morning instead of him riding the bus with the other two. I think it's important for at least one of us to be there on his first day. I have to work...but may be able to go by there with them first, then Dave can just take me to work from there. I don't like relying on him for anything, because he thinks that I'm just going to give in to him & that's NOT going to happen. It's a bit of a long story.
Nobody answered the questions that I put out there...so that's depressing. Not sure why NOBODY answered, but whatever. It's all good.
I found out later that one of my friend's in Ireland...his wife passed away.:( They have a 9 year old boy I believe. She had been sick for awhile, but it's still sad.
I was able to get in to see my doctor (finally) on the 3rd. OK...my white cell count is still a bit high. The Eosinophils are a white blood cell that make up about 5% of all white blood cells...well mine is 18%. It could be I'm having an allergic reaction to something, it could be leukemia, it could be a parasitic infection. GROSS on the last one! She asked if I had been out of the country...which, of course, I haven't. I looked it up & people can have parasites for years & not know it. It could come from contaminated water, food, etc. OK people I hate bugs of all types. I didn't watch the TV show "Monsters Inside Me," because it's just sooo disgusting that I don't even like thinking about it. Now I may have a PARASITE???! You can imagine that I'm trying not to think about THAT. I have to do a few tests this week & then have another appt on the 17th. I hate having to wait that long. If it's NOT a parasite, then there will be MORE tests to figure out what's going on. A great way to start out the New Year....but I just want to find out what's going on, so hopefully I will feel better. I missed work again yesterday. Just feel like crap basically. I know that I will probably get in some trouble for that, but I Facebooked the personnel manager yesterday & asked about taking a leave of absence until I can find out what's going on with me & getting better. I'm supposed to work today & she wants me to come in & get the paperwork started. My doctor will have to fill out some papers. I don't know how long I will take off & the fact that I won't be getting that money is kinda making me panicky, but I feel that I need to do this for myself. For my health, both mental & physical. Plus it's not fair that I keep calling in & then them having to deal with not having an employee there that was scheduled to work. If I kept calling in, I would get fired. There are two kinds of leave. One I could keep working, but when I called in, it would be covered or just take a full leave of absence...which I plan on doing. After I feel better, after I get a vehicle, etc...then will decide what I'm doing from there.
My dad has been gone 13 years (on the 3rd). It sometimes seems that long & other times...not so much. I still miss him immensely.
The boys start school again today....including Phillip. He's going to go to the alternative high school. I think I mentioned that. Will see how that goes. Dave is going to take him this morning instead of him riding the bus with the other two. I think it's important for at least one of us to be there on his first day. I have to work...but may be able to go by there with them first, then Dave can just take me to work from there. I don't like relying on him for anything, because he thinks that I'm just going to give in to him & that's NOT going to happen. It's a bit of a long story.
Nobody answered the questions that I put out there...so that's depressing. Not sure why NOBODY answered, but whatever. It's all good.
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