Avery, the little girl I told you about just a few days ago, died on Monday. They didn't expect her to go this soon. It's a sad thing. I don't know why babies and children have to die before they even get a chance to live. It doesn't seem fair or right when there are so many evil people in this world that just go on living....but I'm not God and don't know the bigger plan if there is one. It just doesn't seem right to me.
I called Vic this morning..yes I'm weak. He actually answered. Said he had just been busy and then crashes at night. Do I look stupid? OK don't answer that question!!LOL Why can't he just be honest and tell me he doesn't want to see me again? Does he think this hurts any less than that would? At least I wouldn't feel like I do right now. He said he would call me later today...of course I knew he wouldn't. I don't know why I got so hung up on him so fast. I haven't felt like that towards a guy since my ex. Maybe that's why this is so hard to deal with...to just let it go. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it. Just need to refocus on things. I don't think that I'll put myself out there anymore for this kind of hurt. Can you imagine if we would have a relationship for months or years and then break up? I would have to go thru all the pain and devastation I felt after Dave left. Why was I even thinking about doing that again? Yes I love affection and having someone who loves me and I love them, but is it worth all this? Probably not. I just feel really lonely at times. Nights are hard...hell some days...every minute is hard and just have to get thru them. I don't like feeling like I have to "get thru life." I want to live my life. I will have to work on that more.
For May...my goals are to eat more fruits (and maybe vegetables..even though I don't really like them), drink more water and definitely exercise a helluva lot more. Only about 6 weeks until my reunion...maybe I can lose at least 20 lbs before then. Will have to wait and see.
1 comment:
Have you thought about ways you can eat the vegetables without thinking about the fact that they are on your plate? i.e. cut them up small and mix them in with lots of really yummy food like eating.
In Britain we have a dish called a Lancashire Hotpot. The basic recipe consists of a mix of lamb and vegetables (carrot, turnip, potatoes, onions or leeks) covered with sliced potato. I think a vegetable stock is used to give it a bit of moisture too. It's so easy to make and it's super yummy too.
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