MOTHER'S DAY

I just want to say Happy Mother's Day to all the moms' out there!  I hope you all have a very good day.:)  I took the boys' to Canon City yesterday.  We went to a bookstore (they love books like I do) and a few other places, took them to eat and then to the park for awhile.  It was a good day/:)

As for all of the drama...no I didn't go to Colorado Springs yesterday.  Yes Dave and Gracie did...as well as Angela.  Angela texted me again on Friday night and was just as rude as ever.  I've just had enough of her bullshit.  I have been putting up with her and her crap since she was 13 (she's like 26 now) and I have had enough.  Most of the family is probably mad at me now anyway, so I'm not going to try to play nice any longer.  She's not allowed around my kids unless Dave or I are there and she can't take them anywhere by herself.  I had issues with that before..she's just not a very trustworthy person...but Dave would just let it go.  Matthew told me of one time when her and a friend of hers locked him in a closet with a heater..so it was hot...and thought that was funny.  When he was younger, she took him down by the river when the Spring runoff was going on and the water was high and moving fast...yet she barely kept an eye on him!  I told Dave numerous times that she didn't need to be taking the kids places by herself.  He just always blew me off.  I had posted something on Facebook the other night saying that the family was probably mad at me because of the issues I was having with "A" and what she said.  Well I had blocked her the day before, yet she texted me and said that if I was going to talk shit about her, then to at least put her real name.  I'm like REALLY?!  I was being "nice" not putting her real name.  I told her that stalking was illegal.  That she was blocked from my page and that if she was going on someone elses' page to look at mine, then that was messed up.  She said that we had a mutual friend who told her about it.  I'm pretty sure who it was, so I blocked her too.  I just don't want to deal with her anymore.  Not now..not ever.  Dave thinks that this is just going to blow over like our other issues have, but it's not.  I'm not kidding that if she talks shit to my kids about me (and she has in the past) or if Dave allows her to take them places alone..that I WILL get a restraining order against her.  Yes I it started out that I was mad about her being friends with Gracie.  But Angela and I have always had issues and there was always tension.  So it just added fuel to the fire.

As for Gracie...I know I have to accept her.  Obviously, she's not going anywhere.  But that's easier said than done.  I have talked to her a bit and we'll see how it goes.  But we'll never be buddy buddy.  Dave continues to act like Dave.  He avoids and ignores.  I'm done with that.  I'm physically and emotionally tired.  I feel like crap physically most of the time and I know that at least some, if not all of it, is from stress.    He can play his games somewhere else. 

Mom had brought up the other day (and it shocked me, because I had thought the same thing, but thought she would be all pissed about it if I mentioned it) that it would be better to just let my house go and find someplace to rent.  As it is right now, I have no money for anything.  The house needs a lot of work done on it and I can't pay for it to get done.  My mom and step-dad can't support me and it's not right that they have had to help out from time to time.  Dave is supposed to help out on half of maintenance, but that will never happen.  I can't sell it, but I can let it go back into foreclosure.  I hate to do that, but it's time to move on.  Find another place and start new.  It may not be around here...I need like a 3-4 bedroom for not more than around $800 a month with utilities included (yeah I know I must be dreaming).  Around here...those kinds of places go for like $1200 and up PLUS utilities.  No way I can do that.  So will also look elsewhere.  I told Dave some about it and he's like "why do you want to move, you own the house (I told him that I would never actually OWN it), that where am I going to find another place for under $600, etc.  That I would just be helping to pay someone elses' mortgage.  He's right and I will never be able to buy another house again, but I figure that I will have to move out of here in a few years anyway.  There's no sense in prolonging the inevitable.  If the house was in good condition, it might be different.  But I need a new roof, the siding is coming off, we have problems with the plumbing, etc.  I asked the boys if it came down to it, would they be OK moving out of town.  I thought that Phillip wouldn't want to..he has a hard enough time with kids picking on him here..and I was right.  He doesn't want to go.  I thought Dominic would be freaking out and not want to go at all...he surprised the hell out of me when he said he WANTED to move.  Matthew who I thought would just go along with it, is the one freaking out about leaving his friends.  So we'll see.  Don't think I would move that far away, but it depends on what I can find.  I'm hoping to be able to move this Summer sometime.  Will just have to wait and see I guess.  I told Dave that he chose his happiness over ours and that he has no right to deny us trying to find our happiness.