Went to Denver last weekend for the boys bowling tournament..Saturday..it didn't turn out so good.:( It was my fault and I clearly need help for my anger issues. But it was also an eye opener for me. I need to let it go and move on. Yeah I know...I should have let go a LONG time ago and I thought that I had..but clearly I hadn't totally. I realize how happy Dave and Gracie are and I'm happy for them. Yes that just came out of my mouth..or my fingers actually!LOL I will explain a little...I was annoyed with Dave (what else is new, right?). I was pissed off and had an attitude. I was saying something to him and Gracies' 23 year old daughter, Nicole, was sitting there staring at me. She has never done anything to me and we have actually talked a few times and I have found her cool. But anyway, I lost it and said "what the fuck are you looking at?!" Yeah...horrible. Anyway..we got into a big argument, of course. Dave just pretty much stood there..I think he was just too stunned that I actually did that to do anything. Finally, Nicole went outside. That is just NOT me. I hate confrontation..have never been like that. Other people heard me..which is a little embarrassing..but I didn't really care at that point in time. I continued to be a bitch pretty much for the rest of the day. I ruined everyones' day..including the boys. I woke up the next morning..sent apology texts to Gracie and Nicole, told the boys I was so sorry and that I would chill out. They don't like Dave and I fighting (they have all told me this). So that Sunday, they had fun bowling, everyone got along (though Nicole wasn't there) and I just realized that I don't want to be this angry, bitter, crazy person anymore. I hope when the boys are grown, they won't hold the past few years against me OR their dad for what we have put them through.
I'm starting to look around for a place to rent. I own this house..well I will never really "own" it, but it's needs a lot of repairs and I just can't afford to ever get them done. Then starting in July, they raised the mortgage payments another $200. I'm hoping to get a place around this area..but we'll have to wait and see. I don't look forward to packing..way too much junk. The house will automatically go back into foreclosure after I move out. Dave isn't happy about me moving out of the house, but he has to understand that there's not much I can do at this point in time.
Today is the boys' last day of school! Can't believe that Summer vacation is here already!! I will have to keep them busy somehow..otherwise they will be bored out of their minds within 2 weeks!
Now the sad news..a little 5 year old girl here, named Bryn McQueen, died on May 21st or 22nd..not sure which yet. She had just graduated from preschool on May 17th..welcomed a new baby sister on April 26th. Had her 5th birthday last month as well. She died of an asthma attack. I don't know if they knew she had asthma before or if it just came on all of a sudden. I can't imagine what her parents are going through right now. I feel for them. I'm going to post a few pictures of Bryn here and a song tribute that I found..it's a really pretty song. Just go to the bottom of my page, I think, and pause the "regular" music that plays, so you can listen to the song I posted for her. Please keep her family in your prayers.
2 comments:
Great job on the loss! Sorry to hear about the drama and the moving issues, hope it all works out smoothly and soon!
So sad to hear about the death of such a young child before they even got a chance to fully live their life. Reading sad news like this just makes me want to put my problems aside and focus on living my life and enjoying it a lot more.
RIP Bryn
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