GOOD & BAD

On July 6th....I went to Colorado Springs to see JM.  It was a good weekend..and he's such a cutie!!  Things have kinda cooled off some...but we still talk.  I will explain that more later.  I didn't feel real great that weekend..and probably should have waited to go.  Saturday evening, I laid down most of the evening.  Then got up Sunday feeling pretty bad.  I drove home and pretty much went to bed.  Monday...got up and got the boys ready to go to Denver for WWE..Dave let me borrow his car (amazingly enough), since one of my tires on the jeep isn't great...I had gone to the gas station to see if I needed air in the tires the week before and the guy said that he was just going to leave them as they were..because my tires were so bad...that I need new tires.  I was hoping he wouldn't say that.  That will be like $500!  Which I don't have.  Anyway, I wasn't feeling great..but not too bad.  Had a good drive to Denver and the boys were totally excited!  Met Jimmy and his daughter there.  Had to stand outside in the heat for about 45 minutes before they opened the doors...thought I might melt!  Of course, I still had the fever going.  We had AMAZING seats!  It was soooo cool to see John Cena, Big Show, AJ, and more!!  The boys had a great time!  We left a little early...we went to see Monday Night Raw..but then after they had Smackdown as well.  We watched some of that.  Then the boys were ready to go, I wasn't feeling good.  We went up some stairs and I had a hard time catching my breath.  I bought them a wrestling belt and a couple of shirts.  I was going to drive straight back, but right before Colorado Springs...I was like there was no way I could do it...it was another couple of hours from there.  I felt soooo bad...I could tell my fever was up and my chest congestion was bad.  So I got a room and the boys watched TV for awhile.  I tried to go to bed..but it was sooo bad and I couldn't stop coughing.  Phillip stayed up late to keep asking if I was OK.  Dominic kept wanting a hug.  I called the doctor the next morning and made an appt to see the doctor when I got back that afternoon.  So I get back, drop the boys off and go to the doctor.  Well I have pneumonia!!  I have never had that before and I hope I never have it again.  It's horrible.  They gave me a breathing treatment at the office, then gave me strong antibiotics to take for 5 days and gave me an inhaler.  Told me if I wasn't better by Friday to come back.  So I went back yesterday, because I felt pretty bad still..had to see a different doctor.  He said that I was wheezing really bad...asked if I had ever had asthma before, been around abestos (sp?), had lung problems, etc.  I never have.  He said that we had to clear my lungs.  So he gave me another breathing treatment, gave me another week of antibiotics, a steroid to take for 10 days (I don't really like to do that..but I will), take Mucinex and use the inhaler.    I'm supposed the see the doctor again next week.  I just want to feel better again.  Finally, my fever is down..after over two weeks.  JM & I still talk and text..just not as much before.  But he's been really sick too.  When I was there, he was having major jaw pain.  He's been sick and in the hospital overnight since I left...his temperature got up to 105 a couple of days ago.  They said it's a combination of the flu and some bacteria in his bloodstream.  So he's on major antibiotics.  He had to go back today. because he was feeling so bad.  I still believe that he's "The One," and if I'm wrong, then I am.  But I would seriously marry him in a heartbeat.  He's cute, great smile, sweet.  But only the future will tell.  We have said that we both want to stay in each other's lives no matter what.  I hope that at least stays.  I finally feel good enough today to write this blog and do a few things.  I have to figure out what to do about the house, moving, etc..so I really want to get better soon.  So if you pray, say one for me if you will.

I haven't been around my kids much since we got back from Denver...since I'm sick and I don't want them to get sick again or get sicker.  I miss them. 

Dave and Gracie are pretty much over.  He's having serious financial problems.  He wants affection from me, but I just don't have it to give.  It's like it doesn't matter to him that I feel like crap...it's all about him.  I'm thankful that he's taking care of the boys for me...that is a big help.  I thought that if Gracie wasn't around..that maybe things could go back to how they were..but I have realized they can't.  The feelings that I had for him just aren't there anymore..and his still aren't there for me anyway.  I told him to talk to her then...but he says he won't beg.  So that's on him.  I just want to get my life together, make sure the boys are OK, that I can afford a nice place, make a good life for my kids and myself.  Get a part-time job, lose this weight. 

My step-dad came thru surgery fine.:)  I haven't been able to be around him much for the past couple of weeks, because I didn't want to risk getting him sick.  I still can't go around him and mom much, since I'm still not my best.  I'm just glad he's OK.

My mom's cat..Melinko...will probably die today or tomorrow.:(  The vet isn't sure what's wrong..but may have gotten into some poison and his bladder is pretty big.  Not much they can do to save him.  It's very sad...anyone who has lost a pet knows it's like losing a part of the family.