MONDAY

A few things have happened since I last wrote. My sister, Cindy, (who I haven't talked to or seen in 3 years) sent me a message on yahoo on the 4th and then I talked briefly to her on the phone at moms' that same day. I'm not sure why she even wanted to talk to me after all this time? She disowned us. I'm glad that we talked and all..just kinda confused!

Then Arturo calls me that day too. His dad has never met me. Obviously doesn't care to either. He has made it pretty clear that he doesn't want Arturo with me. So Arturo asked him why. He told him that I would keep him on a "short leash." That I wouldn't "let" Arturo do the things that him and his dad have planned for when he gets out...going to California, going to strip clubs, etc. So, if you ask me, he's putting doubts in Arturos' mind and that pisses me off. I sent him a letter on Saturday telling him how much I was pissed off and that if he wants to change his mind and bail, then that's on him. I wasn't that mean.LOL I actually made a copy of the letter before I sent it out. I told him that I would wait for him until he got out of prison (I had told him this before), but that I wouldn't wait around while he fucked a bunch of women just because he never got to experiment in his 20s'. He may be upset with me, but oh well. Like I said before, things haven't been the same since he got moved to the new prison in November. He even told me on the phone the other night that he knows he hasn't been writing much, but that when he was at the other prison, he was pretty much in his cell all the time and now at this one, he's not. I take that to mean he doesn't have the time for me, to just sit down and write me a letter. When did I stop becoming important? It upsets me.

Went ot Puebly yesterday, because the two older boys had a bowling tournament. Dave and I took separate cars. Phillip and Dominic rode with him and Matthew rode with me. We got along decently, which is amazing these days. Believe me, I have been a BITCH. I hate when he goes to Denver to see her. So when he's up there and when first gets back, I'm NOT a nice person. I've had enough of his bullshit. He just does what he wants and doesn't care how it affects the kids. I know that I'm not totally over it. I hope that one of these days I WILL be. It gets annoying loving someone when they don't love you anymore.

I have a "diet buddy" on Facebook now. We are starting low carb once again together...see how long I can stick with it this time. I have A LOT to lose. But, right now, I'm just focusing on losing 24 lbs. That would put me at 275.