DOING BETTER...

For the past two days, I have excercised for an hour each time, like I was doing in November, December and January. So I'm proud of myself for that.:) February and the first half of March I just got lazy or something. I feel so much better if I exercise! I haven't lose any more weight and that annoys me, but I know that muscle weighs more than fat...OK maybe that's just an excuse?LOL But I HAVE been watching what I eat as well. Maybe the scale will start showing some progress soon. I hope so, because I'm not a very patient person. I still have belly fat and maybe I always will...but it's not as bad as it once was. So I just have to remember how fat I used to be and realize that I have come a long way from that and be happy with what I have accomplished so far.

The two older boys have a bowling tournament in Denver in the middle of May. Guess who Dave is going to bring to the bowling alley??? Yep, his gf. So I get to meet her for the first time...should be interesting. I'm so not over him.:( It will be hard for me to see them holding hands, kissing, etc. So hopefully they won't do any of that in front of me and the kids (awkward), but if they do, then I will just have to deal with it. I have to think about my kids and how they feel and act accordingly. When I told Phillip that she would probably be there, he immediately started crying and saying that we were going to be fighting/arguing. I assured him that wasn't the case and he calmed down. It's not easy being an adult and having to act like everything is OK when it's not.

I haven't been gambling either the past few days. Just keeping myself off the site. It's hard, I must admit, but I'm doing it. It's just an escape for me, but I can't be doing that if it's going to affect the rest of my life...which it is if I keep spending money that I don't have to spend. I still have 2 weeks to go before I have any money...it's not easy, but it's my own fault. Then I have to double up on some bills next month, because of my stupidity this month.:(

Moved some furniture around yesterday in my house...trying to get things organized and cleaned up. I'm a bit of a hoarder, so it's not easy throwing things away...magazines and the boys' school papers are the hardest. Getting rid of toys and other things we don't need is hard as well, but I just keep telling myself that there are other kids who really need those things. It's better for them to have the things than for them to just sit around collecting dust. I have a long way to go...but I feel better as I get it accomplished. I have watched those TV shows where people can't throw ANYTHING away and it's nasty...I don't want to be like that or to have my house look like theirs. My grandma was a hoarder..though didn't have a name for it at the time and so is my mom. Learned behavior maybe? My sister, Bev, used to be the same way until she got married (later divorced) and he told her she had to get rid of a bunch of stuff. Instead of giving it to Goodwill or whatever, she threw a lot of good stuff away and that makes me feel nauseous. Isn't that crazy??