KINDA SAD.....

Well Arturo finally called a little bit ago. I was right...he has been mad at me. He finally admitted that he pretty much blamed me for him getting moved to another prison in November, that he knew if he pursued things with me that it could turn out "bad." He's stressed out about the parole board hearing in May, he doesn't really have time to do anything (write to me) because all he does is sleep and work. He doesn't know how to go back to being "just friends." So I don't know exactly where it goes from here. I told him that I will still be here if and when he needs me. That I will still write to him, but that there will be no drama in my letters (he said he didn't want to deal with drama..he has enough of his own). Told me that when I went to Cripple Creek sometime last year, that it bothered him, because I was having money problems (I always have money problems) then and he felt that he didn't want to deal with someone who does that. Of course, he didn't tell me that then. He admitted to putting me on the "back burner" these past few months. So I guess it's over.:( It makes me sad, because I DO love him and care about him. But there's really nothing I can do. So guess it's time to move on. This may sound weird, but I asked God to show me what I should do..wait and see what happens with Arturo or maybe pursue a relationship with Ron (the guy up by Denver). Well I feel that maybe this is my sign. I could just be crazy. But will at least put myself "out there" and see what happens with Ron. It's hard for me to do that though. Damn, I don't even know what the hell to do anymore. Just makes me feel sick that I lost Arturo and I can't "fix" it.:(

Today is my sisters' 38th birthday...I'm sure she would be thrilled knowing I put her age on here!LOL We'll be having cake and ice cream at moms' later today.

Today is the first day of Spring..WOO HOO!!:) I was hoping to be thinner by this time, but I didn't work hard enough at it.:( I will just have to try harder now. I have to do this for me.