OK basically I just came up with the title for this post...because I couldn't think of anything else.LOL Work is going OK. Not much to report there. JM & I had a "falling out" today over texting. I was a bit annoyed with him. We had talked on the phone last night...I felt that he was lying to me about a few things. Well mostly just one. It's not a BIG thing, but it's still a thing. He had told me the other day...or I should say texted me...that he would be back on the 4th at 1:00pm. When I asked him last night when he would be back...he's like "my flight gets in at 9:00pm on the 4th." I reminded him that he had told me that it was 1:00pm & he said that was before he knew for sure that he was going to Canada to see Mandy. Well I had the text to prove him wrong. So he's lying for whatever reason about that. No it's not a huge thing to lie about...but why is he even lying about it in the first place?? Just annoying. After we had talked on the phone last night, I had texted him & he never answered. So then today he texted me after I had gone into work at 2:00pm. Just said "hey you." Didn't answer anything from last night. So on my break, I say "hey." Then had to go back to work. Anyway, to make a long story short...we later texted & I told him that I hated when he ignored my text or whenever I talk about something "serious." he just blows it off. Or it seems like it to me. He made a sarcastic remark & I had said something to the effect that he must think my love for him was a joke. WELL...he then texted back & he was pissed because I had said that I felt that he thought OUR love was a joke to him. I didn't say that. He told me not to text him for awhile...then he made sure to put "at all" on the end of that. I was at work, so couldn't do much about that. So when I got off work at 10:00pm, I texted him, told him I was sorry etc. & wanted to know if he was calling it quits. He texted back, said that he was really angry with what I said, that he told me to quit messaging him for awhile & that I was STILL messaging him, to quit acting like a victim, that nobody said it was "over." So....for one thing, I'm NOT acting like a victim. For another, yes I was a bit irate when I was texting him & expressed that...everyone says to be honest about feelings...well guess that's the "wrong" thing to do. Who the hell knows. All I know is that this is ridiculous. He doesn't want me to text him, so I won't. I don't have to like it. It's hard for me NOT to text him...we have talked or texted every day since we first started talking on June 26th....now who knows when of even IF I'll get to talk to him again. Long distance relationships suck...when you DO get into an argument...it's just too easy to ignore each other or for one to just totally cut the other one off. There are just a lot of things that bother me about the whole situation at the moment. I know it probably seems crazy to you, but I really do love him & haven't loved anyone like that since my ex. Theres' notthing I can do about it at the moment, so trying to just "let it go." This is a new year & I refuse to keep doing the same crap...obsessing, overthinking, being so damn serious, putting up with crap that nobody else would put up with, etc. So if he decides to end it, it's his loss, right? That's what I'll keep telling myself whether I believe it or not.
My step-dad is home from the hospital. I don't know exactly what is going on as I haven't talked to mom about it really. He was supposed to have a liver biopsy yesterday morning, but then didn't do it, because there were other "more important" cases. So they were going to do it later this afternoon. Guess he decided that he didn't want it done, so they let him come home. Idiots. He still can't eat anything or hardly drink anything & keep it down. I don't think he has much time left.:( I'm not being morbid...he just doesn't look good..though I haven't seen him for a week now...I just don't think it was a good idea that he left the hospital without knowing what's going on.
My dad has been gone for 12 years today....hard to believe that it's been that long since I last saw him. I still miss him A LOT. It sucks that anyone has to die.
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