Well the thing with Jason isn't going to work. I just don't feel right. We hung out again last Wednesday and all...I just feel that him and Kelly belong together and I hope that they can work it out. I will NOT try to come in between two people that I feel need each other. So I may see him at Bingo every now and then, but I don't plan on hanging out with him otherwise. I didn't tell him that yet, but I think it's all good..since neither of us have even talked to texted each other since Wednesday.
As for other guys...seriously..they are all a bunch of jerks. I'm sooo tired of guys wanting nothing but FWB with me. So I'm better off alone, though it sucks sometimes. I would like someone to go to the movies with, someone to go to dinner with, laugh with, etc. But that isn't likely going to happen any time in the near future, so whatever. I have talked to a guy named Sean for over a year..though we stopped briefly earlier this year. I don't feel a great love for him, but we talk and that's fine. I'm not planning on going to Denver just to meet him..how many times have I done that for other idiots?
Arturo...he called me at the beginning of the month..not sure if I said that before or not. Says he wants to get back to the way things were between us..us writing letters, him calling, etc. Well actions speak louder than words. He hasn't called since like the 8th and I haven't gotten a letter from him. Can't trust the guy, so certainly can't go back to "how things were." It's a sad thing because I really fell for him. But he has two things against him...he's a guy AND he's a convict.
Dave (ex) and my oldest went to Denver this weekend to see Daves' ho...sorry girlfriend. Dave texts me and talks to me all the time when he's in town..he still lives here with his sister. I told him that when he goes up there, he ignores me OR treats me like crap. He denied it. This weekend is a perfect example. I have refused to let go of the friendship and he says that he wants the friendship to. Such crap. I texted him yesterday morning because I had to discuss something about the younger two with him and he didn't text back all day. Didn't call to talk to the kids, etc. So I called him last night..he didn't answer, but called back. He said he was sorry but that he didn't get any text. Whatever. He bought Phillip some more stuff up there...always does. But can't seem to buy anything for the other two. I told him that Phillip is his favorite and he denies that too. Well it looks like it to me. Then there's the whole other thing about Phillip. He's 13. I understand he's a teenager. But I do expect him to text me and tell me how things are going. He doesn't have to call. Well he did neither. I told Dave about it and he said "I'm sorry I thought he had been texting you all day. I will talk to him about it tomorrow." Well...it's now like 1:40pm and I haven't heard from either one of them. Dave knows what pisses me off and still does it. It hurts that Phillip couldn't even text me. I texted him last night and asked what was going on...and nothing. So I guess he thinks that since his dad treats me with disrespect, that he can too. So I'm NOT happy. They are coming back today...and I don't want to deal with either one of them. What's the point? I'm pissed off at both of them and I can't pretend otherwise. Not even with Phillip. He'll know that I'm pissed off right away and then he'll be "I'm sorry mom." I'm tired of that crap. He doesn't give a crap...just like his dad. I love Phillip with all of my heart..just like I love the other two, but I'm not going to put up with him treating me like this too. So if he wants to live with his dad and his aunt..then so be it. They will have to figure out how to get him up and to school since they both work in the mornings. They would only really have to worry about Wednesdays and Thursdays considering his aunt his off on Mondays and Tuesdays and they don't have school on Fridays. My mom will kick my ass for that, but oh well. Will see how it goes. If he wants to stay here, he's going to have to start treating his brothers better, he's going have to show me some respect, follow some rules and help around the house. I'm pretty sure he won't do any of those things.
The diet pills...I can take up to 3 a day, but have only been taking one since I'm sensitive to caffeine. Well I think that starting today, I'm going to try 2 and see how it goes. If it turns out bad, I'll go back to one. I weigh tomorrow and will let you know how that goes.
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