MONDAY....

Yesterday was NOT a good day. I stayed in bed and slept all day. Just couldn't make myself get out of bed. I see the dr on Wednesday to see about my anti-depressants, but there is no miracle cure out there. I weighed today and knew that I would be up some pounds. Didn't take my water pill yesterday and plus I have been pretty much eating whatever. We don't have any money right now and won't until Nov. 3rd. So have to eat what's in the house, which isn't much and what is there is certainly not low carb. I weigh 313 lbs. I'm not even going to worry about it anymore. I was just meant to be fat.

Then Dave and I got into an argument last night over the phone. One day he's saying he wants us to be friends, that he doesn't want to lose the friendship..then last night he's saying we can be "friendly" for the boys' sakes. Tells me one minute that I can always talk to him and then tells me last night that I can't always cry on his shoulder. Then what really did it for me was "we're divorced, there is nothing left between us except for the kids." Guess he put my in MY place. So pretty much I have just been acting like an idiot this whole time. Trying to be friends. So that's fine...we will only talk about the kids. But he better live by that as well. He calls to make sure the kids were up for school this morning and tells me that he called off work today, because his stomach has been hurting all night. I know that he expected me to say I'm sorry or I hope he feels better soon, but I didn't. I was just like "oh." That wasn't about the boys..so guess I don't have to address it.

I'm going to the courthouse this monrhing and responding to the parenting plan. If they go with his plan, we will get even less child support than we do now. He said he would pay the same amount and the extra (up to $400) he will give to me. Yeah RIGHT. Will believe that whe I see it.

I'm sooo tired today and have no reason to be.