HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Hope everyone has a great day!! Taking the boys trick-or-treating tonight. Dave is going with us. At first, he had some stupid idea that we each take one of the younger kids...I'm like "are you serious??" This will probably be the last Halloween they have with him and he comes up with THAT?? I believe that it's partly Gracie telling him what to do. Anyway, this is FOR the boys and we are taking them together. I told him that it's not like we have to hold hands or anything.LOL It's just ridiculous. I'm not sure if Phillip is going to dress up at all, but Dominic and Matthew are both going to be ninjas. They have different colored costumes. They have parties at school today..Dominic wanted to be a zombie for that. So he just put some fake blood on a white shirt. I think he was just embarrassed to wear the ninja costume at school.LOL

I haven't talked to Bobby at all. I kinda figured I wouldn't. Not that big of a deal really. I've been texting a couple of guys from Denver and they're pretty cool. Jeff H. & Mike K. Jeff is 30 and Mike is 39. Mike and I also talk on the phone. He's a cool guy and he gives me that "butterfly" feeling whenever I hear from him. Which is nice. It may not go anywhere with either one of them (I live 3 hrs away), but it's nice having them in my life for the moment. I have learned and pretty much come to accept that nobody stays permanently in my life. At least guys don't. It's not that I'm OK with that, I just accept it. I haven't "slept" with a guy in over 2 weeks. Hey, that has to be some kind of record!!LOL I'm just not into the hook ups anymore. I want and need more than that. Let's just hope I have the willpower to continue with that. I got a letter from Arturo on Saturday with a picture. He's still looking all hot and everything. Told me he loves me and still wants to marry me. Tells me he's glad that I never gave up on him, etc. I still really care about him, but is it too little too late? I don't know. I do know that I have a bit of a wall up where he is concerned.

I went hunting with my mom and step-dad all last week. Well THEY hunted. I'm pretty sure I couldn't hit the side of a barn!!LOL I mostly just drove and tried to find a friggin' buck. Plenty of does, but that's about it. Mom had a buck tag, my step-dad (Duke) didn't have a tag for this season. I swear that deer are crazy. They know when to "hide" during hunting season...yet they continually run out in front of cars!! Anyway, mom didn't get anything, but it was sooo nice being able to just talk to her and hang out with her.:) Duke had his truck and then I drove mom around. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad for the memories. On the downside, I ate waaayyyy too much cookies, crackers, mini candy bars, etc. I felt like a serious cow. But the last few days of last week, I did OK and will weigh myself later this morning. Anyway, another season starts on the 5th. Mom has an elk tag for that one and Duke has a buck tag. Hopefully they will have better luck this next season.

Dave hit a deer on his way to work last week and hit it HARD (like at 60 mph). Luckily Dave was OK..it would have been a lot worse if it was a bigger deer or an elk. I'm glad he's OK!! His car was pretty messed up though. It's in the shop now. Can't say that I'm sad about the car....it's a 2009 and I have a 1993 and I never thought that was fair. Karma and all....I know that's probably horrible to say, right?

Gracies' daughter, Nicole, & I get along. Which is weird to say the least. She's 23 and has 3 little kids. She is having a birthday party for 2 of them on November 12th and she invited me and the boys! Well they all live with Gracie. I'm actually going to go if the weather is decent. Might be a little weird. Dave and Gracie being there and all. But oh well. It was ballsy of Nicole to ask and I have to give her credit for that. I don't have to be NICE to Gracie..but I'm pretty sure I can be CIVIL. My mom would kick my ass if she knew. But I know that I have to try to adapt to the whole situation. I don't know if that will ever really happen, but we'll see. My friend, Sean, might go with me. I'm not sure yet. I may have mentioned him earlier. He lives in Denver (doesn't everyone??)LOL We have talked on the phone off and on for over a year. I asked him if he wanted to go to the party with me and he said yes. But we'll see. It would be nice to have someone to go with so maybe I wouldn't feel so friggin' awkward. I told him my kids would be with me..he said he didn't have a problem with that..but I'm sure he'll be irate if we don't get any time alone. But that's not my problem and I'm not even sure that's true..that he would be upset.

Oh, we're supposed to see a mediator about the visitation. I told Dave that I'm not spending money on the mediator when he screwed things up for me before. The mediator is an ass. He TELLS you how it's going to be, doesn't discuss it. I don't like him and I refuse. So not sure where it will go from there. Dave is being all nice again. I don't get him. He tells me that we have nothing to talk about, but then texts me and stuff. Trying to keep me on the string a little? I really don't know. But I just do the day to day thing and try not to let it get me down.