Well I started taking "VPX Meltdown" on Sept. 20th. Actually, I had taken it a couple of weeks before I went to Wisconsin as well (for a week). I lost 10 lbs in one week then! But there are side effects..some anxiety, sweating, chills, nausea. But in order for it to work, I guess you need at least the sweating and chills..though it makes you feel like you have the flu. Which sucks. But if it works, it works, right? I stopped taking it for a week before the Wisconsin trip, because wasn't sure how it would react with the Dramimine that I would need to take on the trip. I had a weird experience when I went out on the 3rd...I don't know if I its because I drank more alcohol than usual (I don't think I did..but could be wrong) or if it was the diet pills and the alcohol was just metabolized differently. Either way, it scared the hell out of me. I couldn't even walk, because things were spinning so fast and that has NEVER happened to me before. I had to call my ex to come get me (he wasn't thrilled) and he had to help me walk. Also embarrassing, because this is a small town and, at one point, I was actually laying outside on the sidewalk with people asking if I needed them to call an ambulance! Needless to say, I will be embarrassed to go out again here!!LOL But seriously, felt like I was going to die. So will just watch the alcohol while I'm taking this pill...just in case. I don't drink that often anyway and I don't go out as much as I used to. I weighed when I first got back from Wisconsin and was 316 lbs...yuck...plus hadn't taken my prescription water pills in like 5 days..and I usually gain about 5-9 lbs of water weight when I miss them. So that was the 20th..when I started taking them again. Today I was 307 lbs. So that is 9 lbs gone...though I know some of it is water. I will take it for another week or two and see what happens. I would like to commit to it for at least a month and then I can see the actual numbers. But have been feeling kinda crappy the past few days..not sure if the diet pill is to blame or not. Guess we will see.
I didn't tell you much about Jason. Well, he's 33 (I'm 42). I really didn't think that I could feel anything for anybody anymore...just a sex thing or if I spent any time with a guy, I was always thinking of other things I had to do or places I need to go and trying to figure out a way to get out of the situation. NOT with Jason. He is amazing. He's taller than me, cute, sweet, funny, not embarrassed to be seen with me in public (hey believe me a lot of guys seem to be), kisses awesome..and the whole time I was with him, I was having FUN. Not wanting to be anywhere else. Well I don't know how HE feels and that sucks. I guess if I don't mean much to him, then at least he showed me that there ARE still guys out there that I CAN care about and have fun with. So I'm grateful for that. But it's a complicated situation. I go to Bingo on Wednesday nights. His mom and GIRLFRIEND, Kelly, go as well. Well his gf...she went back East about 3 weeks or so ago...her 23 year old son was killed by a train along with his best friend (female) when they were drunk and trying to cross the train tracks at night. She tripped and he went back for her. Horrible, huh? I can't even imagine. She also has a grown daughter back there and a 6 month old granddaughter. Well she found out that her daughter is popping pills. So she is going to try to get custody of her granddaughter and is thinking about joining the Army..she's 41. So last Wednesday, I went to Bingo and he was there alone and we get along great. He asked me if I ever went out and I told him I do sometimes by myself but that I hate it. He said that maybe we can hang out sometime. Which shocked me, but made me happy.:) So we went (along with my grown niece...who he knows) to play poker on Saturday night. I sucked. Anyway, I had to give him a ride home after (about 20 miles away). He asked if I wanted to go out first, so we went to a couple of bars and had a couple of shots..him more than me, since I was driving. We played pool, walked around and had fun. He asked if I would consider FWB...I am sooo over that, but said I would consider it for him, because I really like him. He said that him and Kelly had been on a website for awhile for swingers, with no results and asked how I felt about all of that. Well if anyone knows my background..they know that I was on a couple of adult sites myself at one time. So I told him that and he was relieved that I wasn't judging him. He told me that he had even talked it over with Kelly! That he asked her if it was OK if he hung out with me and if something happened, then it happened. She said that was fine. Weird, right? I asked him where is relationship with Kelly was right now, since they have been together for 4-5 years. He said that it has run it's course, that he will always love her, but she may not even come back to Colorado and he doesn't plan on leaving. He has an 8 year old daughter who lives nearby and he won't leave her. He has been married once before and says he won't get married again and that he wouldn't marry Kelly and she knows that. But you know how people say they meet someone and KNOW that they're going to marry that person? That's the way I feel about him. I may be delusional, but that's how I feel. He lives in a remote area that doesn't have the best cell service. So he says not to freak out if I don't get texts from him all the time, but we have exchanged e-mails. He sent me one Sunday night, but not since. I have sent him a couple, but nothing too serious..I just hate the waiting.:( It sucks. So who knows where this will go if anywhere, but I'm hoping that it does. Wish me luck!
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