HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I plan on this being one of the best years of my life. I will do my best to stay postive and have hope. It will be hard for me. That I have no doubt. But tired of always being sad and negative. There are numerous things I want to accomplish this year:

1. Find my true love
2. Get myself healthier and lose the rest of this weight
3. Go to massage school
4. Get a job giving massages
5. Become more secure in myself and who I am
6. Don't settle for guys who just want a piece of ass
7. Know that I'm worth more than I give myself credit for
8. Be a better person and mother
9. Clean my house and get rid of all things that I don't need..all the
clutter that takes up my life
10. Make myelf better off financially
11. Not depend on anyone but myself
12. Let God control more of my life..it's hard for me to give up control
13. Take time to read more books
14. Take more time for me
15. Enjoy nature more
16. Go to church
17. Make more time for friends and not be so anti-social
18. Stop lying about things...even little things.

I guess that's it for now. That's plenty. I weighed today and am at 290 lbs. I'm happy about that. I go for 5 lb goals now...so on to 285.

I went out last night..by myself at first. Which is an amazing thing for me. I don't like going places by myself. Guess that's another thing to put on the list. I met a guy there..I know a guy at a bar isn't the best choice. He was cute, sweet, nice. He's 36 and his name is Eric. We got a hotel room and spent the night together. While I don't regret it, I DO need to get out of this habit. I'm tired of sleeping with people and it not meaning anything. We did exchange phone numbers, but whether it goes more than that, I don't know. Guess we will wait and see.
As for Arturo...I love him like you wouldn't believe. But obviously he has bailed on me. He didn't even call me for New Year's. I guess that I pretty much got the hint now. I need to learn to let go. It hurts, but guess I really didn't mean that much to him. I will miss his letters, his humor, his phone calls. But this is a new year and it's just time to move on. So hopefully next year at this time, I can tell you that I did most, if not all, the things on my list. Here's hoping....