.

.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wednesday morning....

Well..went to Cripple Creek with Dennis on Friday and had fun. He's a nice guy.:) I won some money too, so that was awesome! I KNEW that he would go back to his wife...he was planning on getting a divorce (not because of me), but they have been together for over 34 years, so I didn't see that happening. I came back home on Saturday and he told me this on Sunday. So I'm not contacting him anymore. He needs to work on his marriage and I respect that. Do I miss talking to him? Yes. But I will get over it. Also guess who called me on Friday night?? Arturo!! What timing. Anyway, he has that inmate mentality. If you say you're going to do something, then do it. I had told him I would send him some things, but I forgot, so guess this was his way of "punishing" me???? He said he's sorry, that he loves me and only wants me, that he's afraid I'll find someone else, etc. Doesn't he realize that by him doing this that he is pushing me away? He was crying a bit...I can just tell and he said "I just fucking miss you." He was supposed to call me back on Saturday...he told me he would and he didn't...so should I act like him and be pissed off that he said he was going to do something and then didn't?? Just stupid. He's supposedly going to write me a letter this week...I'll believe that when I see it. He took away some of my trust for him and I don't even think he totally realizes that.

I have made a decision though...no more sex for awhile. I'm just done with that. I'm worth more. If there is ever a guy who actually asks me out on a real date...I may go. But there's not going to be anymore "easy piece of ass." I want something REAL. Not something that is based on sex. Will I ever find that??? I don't know. Like I have said a million times before (well maybe not THAT many), I want to be with Arturo, but will see how that plays out.

I haven't been feeling good at all. Just blah. Oh, found out on Friday that my 8 year old had strep throat.:( Luckily, he is better now. I'm not sure what MY problem is though. Just tired and "icky." Have decided to TRY not to eat much sugar, carbs, etc. and see if I feel any better. Maybe I have a food allergy? Plus maybe it'll help me lose some more weight! I'm stuck!

No comments: