Some days I feel better...positive, happy, etc. But other days...negative, depressed. Today is one of the negative days. I'm just sooo damn tired. Physically and mentally. Still haven't heard from Arturo. I hate when things are left unsaid. I just want to know what I did wrong. Or why should I even blame myself, right? Maybe it's just him. It's just that I love him and trusted him. I have to quit trusting so damn easily. I know that I will get past this eventually...but it's hard for me. I need closure and I'm not sure that I will ever get that.
The diet thing is going OK. Exercised again this morning..some days it's hard to get motivated, but have been doing pretty good the past couple of months. The extra 1/2 hour is seriously kicking my ass though.LOL Haven't had hardly any carbs for 2 days now. I know I can't keep this up permanently, but for now, it's OK. I definitely need sugar or bread in the future! Just want to get down to a certain weight first. Which is really like 50 lbs away. That won't make me thin, but it will make me feel better. Then we will go from there.
My mom is having kidney stone surgery today..right now as I write actually. I hope that she'll be OK!! Will let you know.
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