Ya know, I'm sooo tired of the craziness. I don't know exactly what is going on between hubby and his "woman." You know, we had an agreement that we wouldn't get attached to anyone. I don't know if he is, she is, both are, etc. But I'm stressing. Like that's new. He has reassured me that they're "just friends," that he would never leave me, etc. So right now, I have to believe him. Until he proves that I can't. He's always messing around and being silly...being nosey..grabbing my phone and looking at the texts on there. I did that to him last night and I thought he was going to flip out. So what is going on?? I have no idea. He says the she sometimes tells him that she "loves" him, but it's only as a friend. But he didn't want me to get the "wrong" idea. Whatever. I'm just soooo over guys right now.
The one I want to hear from...hasn't written since Sunday night. The other one (25 year old) may fuck a co-worker. Well that's fine, because there are no strings...BUT I told him he doesn't use protection with her...then we're not doing anything again. He said he would...but like I trust that. So now I feel that I have to begin the process of letting them BOTH go. It seems like they don't need or particularly want ME in their lives, so there's no sense in me trying to be, right?
I just hate it when people "leave" me, but I'll get over it.
Well off to call the shrink now and see if I can get an appt.
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1 comment:
Oh my, you and I are a lot alike! I am not in an open relationship or anything, but you've said a lot of things that I have thought or felt in the past as well. I hope writing this blog can help you sort out your feelings, if that is something you want to do.
Good for you for calling someone, too. My mom suffers from depression, and I know it's a terrible way to live. It took a lot of docs a long time to find the right medication for her, but she is doing great now and keeping really busy.
I'm reading along and I'm cheering for you, whatever you decide to do. :)
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