Well the guy I want to hear from...Darren...he has his own problems to deal with and pretty much told me he can't deal with mine too...so whatever. He'll write when "he feels better." So I don't plan on hearing from him for awhile if ever. Then there is Steve...the 25 year old. He's just awesome. We talk a lot on messenger. Dave and I are planning on going to Denver over Memorial Day weekend. Steve wants me there sooner, but I can't. Just no way. But his roommate will be out of town, so I may be able to stay the night there. That would be cool as it would save some money on a hotel room. He tells me I'm beautiful and all...so sweet. I know, don't get too attached. I have decided that I like younger guys a lot more than older. The oldest that I will go now is like 45. Any older...ya know I don't want to have to work that hard.LOL
I'm talking to another 25 year old in Denver now....Ryan. He is soooo cute!!! Very sweet. So we will see. I need to pick one or two and stay with them. I hate choosing anything or making decisions, but I need to. Can't be sleeping with all these people. Though I really can't seem to control myself at the moment. Then there's Ken in Pueblo. Says he will "host" and pay for my gas down there and everything. That I could stay the night and he would take me to dinner, etc. Wow...that's a new thing. THEN there's another guy. I won't say his name because he lives in a small town not too far from me. He's married and all. He's hot and sweet. Decisions, decisions. I never had this "problem" before. I wasn't popular when I was younger. I've always been heavier and never got that much attention from guys. So this is new to me and right now, I'm just enjoying it, though I need to chill out a bit.
Yesterday was a major "ho" day though...actually felt pretty disgusting. What are the odds that there would be 3 guys in town at the same time who wanted to see me? First there was an older guy from Pueblo....Lee. Was OK...he's a sweet guy, but won't see him again. We had sex...he got a hotel room. He drove up just to see me. I guess I felt "obligated" since he did that. I didn't really enjoy that as much as I could have had I not felt that way. Then there was the cute guy from the town nearby. WOW! OK, I gave him a bj at the cemetery!!LOL No where else to go. I really like him and hope to see him again someday. THEN there was a guy off of an adult site that I hadn't even really talked to before that was going thru town...I went to see him. He's older and looks older as well. I gave him a bj too. I will NEVER do stupid crap like that again. I felt so "icky" after everything. Just wish it would have been the small town guy and that's it. I'm totally out of control.
1 comment:
Aww...I can see you are struggling with conflicting feelings here- the good feeling of being wanted, men telling you are beautiful, and the bad feeling you are left with after sexual encounters. It kind of reminds me of food cravings and giving into them. You see that heavenly glazed donut, or gooey cookie, or whatever your poison is, and you WANT it. You KNOW it will taste sooo amazing, but then you eat it (and perhaps 5 or so if its friends), and instantly regret it. I guess we have to decide whether giving into what feels good in the moment outweighs the bad feelings after. God, now I want a donut! LOL!
I am very happy to be reading your blog. :)
Oh, and it was SUNNY today!! :)
TC
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