I am going to see about talking to a therapist. I need something...I've had depression off and on since I was 15. This blog really wasnt't supposed to be about that, but I feel that I have to vent. I can't push it off on my "friends." I do and I know it's wrong. Makes me look "needy." Nobody likes a needy person. I feel sooo lost inside...empty and sad. I have become this person that I don't even know. I used to find joy in at least SOME things. Now it's like I can't find any and I don't even care. The house is a MESS...I don't care about it. Don't know where to start. So it's easier to just not deal with it. I get the kids up for school and then I go back to bed until whenever. I don't even WANT to get out of bed. Either that, or I go on the computer at like 8:00am and get off of it around 2:00pm! So I can take a shower and get "ready" before my husband gets home! The bills are due...really have to work at writing the checks for them and mailing them out. I have been the "bill payer" since we've been married! I have never had that problem before. I have been like this since January. I love to read..always have...but now find that I can't even concentrate enough to do that. I know I'm all over the place here right now. Can't help it. Too much going on in my head. I feel like screaming. I don't know what to do with myself. Right now, I just want to FEEL BETTER. Somebody HAS to be able to help me, right?? IDK. I messed up with the kids "Memory Books" and I feel SOOO bad....I know that I need to be more organized. But this..I just can't get past right now. I feel that Memory Books from school (or yearbooks) are important to have. I was supposed to order them (need 2) in March and I forgot. Now it's too late and they don't have any extras!!!!! Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I was taking Cymbalta for depression and then she put me on Wellbutrin as well. But she's just a nurse practioner, not a therapist. She never checked up on me. The Cymbalta wasn't helping, so I stopped taking it. I just need to find someone to talk to and who can help me get "out of my head."
1 comment:
Definitely get some help. I've experienced some of the feelings you've described over the past few months, and it's a terrible way to live. I even considered cutting myself a couple of weeks ago. Not good, especially since I just found out two hours ago that I'm going to be a mom. Find a psychiatrist ASAP and feel better soon.
Post a Comment