HERE WE GO AGAIN....

I'm getting so tired of Phillip getting picked on...it's every fucking year since he was in the 1st grade.  He's 14 now...6 feet tall and a heavier kid...he could seriously beat some kids' ass...but he won't do it, because he knows he can hurt them if he really lost his temper..so he just takes it.  Now he doesn't want to go to school!!!  This is only the 2nd day!!!  I don't know if I can handle another year of this, let alone 5 years.  So guess Dave & I are going to see the principal today...though I don't really know why...they never do anything about it.  They have an "anti-bullying" policy...really???  Couldn't prove it by me.  Kids go to school to learn....it shouldn't matter what they look like, what they wear, etc.  I was picked on too...but I made it thru.  The only difference is...I had close friends...and he doesn't.:( 

SLOW GOING....

My weight loss...just depressing.  I REALLY have to stay low carb..or I gain.  As you can see from my weight on here.  So annoying & frustrating.  Especially since I don't have any money right now for low carb food.  I have food around here...but most of it is full of carbs.:(  I don't get paid again until the 31st.  I have a few things that I can eat...but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be hungry as hell.  Will just have to wait & see how it goes.  I have been exercising some as well...hoping that will help some.  It should..even though I'm not working out for hours. 

My son, Dominic, started Middle School yesterday.  Then the other two started today.  Only the 5th & 9th graders started yesterday...since they are "new" to their respective schools..they wanted to give them a day to get used to things & figure things out...they never did that for us back in the day!! They just threw us in with the sharks!!LOL  Dominic had a really good day..I'm hoping that Phillip & Matt have a good day as well & like school.  Phillip was a bit nervous..he gets picked on quite a bit..though he could kick some serious ass if pushed too much.  I'm TRYING to call Matthew "Matt" since that's what he wants..but it's really hard for me!!LOL  They grow up so fast!

I'm going to Colorado Springs this weekend...well maybe...it depends on if I have gas money or not.  A girl I used to babysit for...Allison...is graduating from Automotive School.  What every guy wants...a hot mechanic!!:)  She was always such a girly girl, so it totally surprised me when she went for this...but I'm proud of her.:)  I won't get to see JM this weekend...but going next weekend for my birthday!!:)  My birthday is the 31st...I'm going up on the 30th, I think & staying until the 2nd or 3rd.  I'm excited!!:)  We are doing good.  Though the issue has come up that he's a bit "nervous" because he's only 29 and I'm almost 43 & have 3 kids.  But he knew that from the beginning...so not sure why he is freaking out now.  Well he's not "freaking out," but just thinking about things.  Hopefully it all works out...since I'm totally into him.  It takes a lot to "put up" with me, but he is doing OK with that..though we have had some issues with my "attitude."  So I'm trying to tone it down.  I know that I bring a lot of drama...hell I cause a lot of drama....so trying to change that about myself..not easy..I have had drama in my life for years...I'm used to it.  But I don't want to screw this up.  So will do what I can.

I have the doctors' appt tomorrow afternoon..hopefully things go well.  My mom wants to go with me...guess she doesn't believe that I will tell her everything.LOL  I know that she's just concerned.  Hell so am I...as you can see from my last post.  I am trying to keep a positive attitude & hope for the best.

Moms' yardsale went OK..though she didn't do very well.  I hate when people don't buy much after you go to all of that trouble.  As I'm going thru things in my house now & trying to get it all cleaned up...I'm just going to start taking things to Good Will...yardsales are a serious waste of time unless you have stuff that will get you a lot of money...which I don't.

My mom & step-dad are going over to Grand Junction this weekend to see my sister, Cindy & her daughter Jasmine.  Jasmine will be 2 on the 26th.:)  I have only seen her one time...that was a year ago already!!  Haven't talked to Cindy since then either.:(  Long story...wish it was different though.

The weather has been beautiful here!!  Not too hot...not too cold. 

A girl I knew was killed in a car accident the other day.:(  I didn't know her very well..worked with her at one time & saw her around..we would talk some.  She was killed instantly.  Some idiot was passing on a curve & hit her head on...her name was Heather.  It's just sad. 

FMM: INAPPROPRIATE QUESTIONS

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Inappropriate Questions

1. Will you vote in the upcoming presidential election?  Probably.  Though I don't like any of them...so don't really know what the point is.
2. Do you say curse words? A LOT.  Way more than I should.  I really try not to on like Facebook or if I'm sending an e-mail..even to one of my friends.  But in real life and in my blog...hell yeah I do.;)
3. Have you ever kissed a stranger? LOL...yes I did when I was younger.  I was on a bus going to Wyoming and this cowboy was sitting next to me...we had a stop somewhere, so we got off the bus and talked some then...then when we got back on the bus...we did a bit of kissing..it was at night..so guess that wasn't as bad as it would have been during the day!!LOL  Wish I remembered his name now!! 
4. If you could choose to meet only one fellow blogger in person right now who would you choose? I would definitely say Tim in England.  I love the guy!  He's awesome...sweet, funny.  Sorry if I'm embarrassing you Tim.;)  If I had an unlimited amount of money...I would fly out today.:)
5. What is the most inappropriate pick-up line that anyone has ever used on you?   I'm pretty sure that I have never had a guy use a pick up line on me before.:(  Kinda sucks actually.
6. Do you sing in the shower?   Nope...I do, however, sing in the car!!
7. How often do you get drunk?  Not too often anymore.  Though when I DO go out...I DRINK.  What's the point of drinking if you're not going to get at least a little drunk??
8. Have you ever been fired from a job?  No have never gotten fired...quit a few though...but I was young & stupid.:)
9. Were you popular in high school? I can definitely say HELL NO!!LOL  Of course, it wasn't so funny then.  I hated high school.  I mean, I had my friends..but for the most part it was horrible and wouldn't want to do it again.  I just hope my kids don't have to go thru what I did and I wasn't even that fat back then.:(
10. Who is your current celebrity crush? Channing Tatum, Chris Hemsworth.

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday, friends!

I'M A BIT SCARED.....

I had another chest x-ray done on the 13th...my doctor is only in on Mondays, Wednesdays & in the mornings on Fridays.  Anyway, I called & left a message for his nurse on the 15th to see if they had the results, she called back & said that she didn't have it in front of her..so she would call me back the next day..she didn't.  So I called Friday & she, of course, wasn't there.  So I talked to another nurse & she said that there was still something there on my right lung.  She said she would talk to the doctor she works for (I had seen him when I first got pneumonia)...and see what he wanted to do.  So I thought I still had a bit of pneumonia.  He called me & said that I didn't thave that...but that I have scarring on my right lung.  He again asked if I smoked, if I had been around abestos (sp?), had asthma, etc.  It was no to all of those.  He told me to he was going to prescribe an inhaler & some more antibiotics.  He also told me that he wanted me to call my regular doctor & get an appt for Monday..that it was important that I talk to my doctor about this, so he could monitor it.  Whatever that means.  So I called right back & the receptionist said that he didn't have any openings that day, I told her that the other doctor had said that it was important.  So she said to call back on Monday morning & they would try to "fit me in."  Gee..thanks.  Otherwise, I have to wait until Wednesday afternoon.  Of course, I was stupid & looked it up on the internet...it's not good.  I hope it's not the scary thing I read about...but it does say that scarring on the lung can't be "fixed."  Well....that's fine...but if it's this other thing...it can make me short of breath & it will just get worse over time..then it only gives the person who has it 5 years to live.  I pray to God that that's NOT what I have.  So if you pray...please pray that it's nothing serious. I was so freaked out that I started crying & had a hard time stopping.  It's ridiculous, I know.  I just have a fear of dying...but also I have a fear of not being able to breathe.  I just want to be here for my kids...to see them grow up.  I know that I get tired of life sometimes...but I still love life & want as many years as I can get.  JM has been there for me & it's so nice being able to talk to him about it & at least feeling some comfort.  Nobody knows what the future holds, but I know that we have to live life to the fullest every day & not take anything or anyone for granted.

Mom is having a yardsale in the morning...so I need to go down there early in the morning & see if I can help her out some.  She puts too much pressure on herself to get everything done like right now.  She doesn't feel good as it is & I think that she just pushes herself too hard.

My weight loss hasn't been going too great...have pretty much stayed the same this past week...which isn't bad, but not great either.  I will just have to try a bit harder.  I know that I can lose it. 

ULTIMATUMS

This cold is seriously kicking my butt.  You think that I would have started to feel better by now...but noooooo.  I'm taking cold medicine & it seems to be barely touching it.  My nose is still plugged up...which I hate...especially when I'm trying to sleep.  I started exercising again a few days ago...but didn't yesterday...was going to this morning...but feel like crap.  I WILL exercise sometime today.  I just get tired of being sick...I have too much stuff to get done this week.  I should already be out of the house by now...that was the plan...but not working out that way.  First I'm going to eat something & have some coffee...maybe by then, I'll feel good enough to get my butt in gear & get this day started.

Dave & I talked some last night...he is going to try to move to Denver.  He's a mess without Gracie.  I don't know how she will feel about it..but hopefully they can work out whatever they need to work out.  What a change from how I used to be, huh?  He's miserable & life is too short to not be happy.  I still don't like her & never will...she's snobby...but that's just the way it is...there are some people you meet in life that you just automatically know you're not going to get along with no matter what & she's one of mine.  Anyway...he said he won't go for custody right now...that if I can "take care" of the kids, make the house payment, etc. then that's cool.  But if there ever comes a time when I can't take care of them, then he will file.  What kind of pisses me off...is he told me I had to get a job...OK...yes I KNOW I have to get a part-time job...but I don't like being told what to do & especially not by him.  He also said that I couldn't quit that job or he would file.  There seems to be a lot of ultimatums going on.  He also brought up the fact that I'm "always sick."  He asked me why I was sick all the time.  Like I have control over having pneumonia & then this stupid cold.  I have no idea why I have been so sick this Summer...I'm hoping that I will get better soon.  Just take vitamins, exercise & try to be healthier.  That's yet another thing he told me...that maybe I should exercise more so I wouldn't be sick all the time.  He has no idea what I do or don't do.  Just annoys me.

FMM: GROCERIES

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

In the Kitchen

1. How often do you cook at home?  I hate to cook!LOL  So not very often.  Of course, I have 3 boys so I have to cook something...but it's nothing very elaborate.
2. Do you eat more fresh produce, frozen or canned produce? I should eat more fresh produce & I have been trying to do that...but mostly it's canned.
3. What are a few unusual staples that can always be found in your kitchen?  Nothing really unusual....guess I'll go with Atkins shakes.
4. Look in your fridge, then tell us about the healthiest thing in there. Oranges
5. Now share the most unhealthy thing in it.  Mayo....I LOVE mayo!!:)
6. Do you eat leftovers? Sometimes, but not very often.
7. Do you use coupons at the supermarket?  If I find some that I can actually use...and then remember where I put them....and then remember to take them with me!!LOL
8. How often do you try new recipes? I usually don't try new recipes
9. Do you make grocery lists? Do you stick to them? I sometimes make a grocery list if there is a lot of things that I need to get.  I stick to it pretty well...I have learned NOT to go to the store hungry!!LOL
10. If you could buy one food item that would magically be calorie-free, which item would you choose? Peanut Butter Cookies!!

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday, friends!

SUNDAY MORNING

OK first I just want to say I'M TIRED OF BEING SICK!!!!  OK...needed to get that out of my system!LOL  This is ridiculous.  This cold is driving me crazy.  You would think that I would start feeling better by now...or that I would be getting over it by now...but no.  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever not be sick!  I know that I just need to be patient...but sheesh.  I need to get some things done today around the house, but mostly I'm just going to try to rest...because starting tomorrow...things will be hectic.  I need to get the house cleaned up, get the kids registered for school, etc.  Dominic starts school on the 20th..since he will be in the 5th grade (first year of middle school), they want to have that day just to get used to things, etc.  Then the other two boys start school on the 21st.  The Summer has gone by way too fast.  Dominic is ready to go back to school...Phillip & Matthew...not so much.  I hope that they will all have a good year with no problems with bullying, etc. 

Daves' b-day was yesterday, so the boys were with him for most of the day.  He is supposed to have them on weekends anyway..but they don't always want to stay with him the whole time.  Dave was pretty depressed and said that it was the 2nd worst birthday he's ever had (the first...his dad passed away on his birthday in 2008).  He came by the house yesterday morning, but I didn't answer the door.  I was here by myself and I knew what he wanted.  I texted him and told him I was in the shower and I would text him later.  He said he just wanted to talk, so I told him that we could go get coffee somewhere.  He didn't want to be that public..since he was pretty "down."  So I met him out at the cemetery.  Yes a bit weird..but private and I also wanted to go out there anyway since his dad has been gone for 4 years now.  Anyway, he is totally messed up over Gracie.  Says he can't sleep, he's not eating, he can't afford his diabetes medicine, feels nervous all the time, cries a lot, etc.  I told him that he needs to maybe see a shrink, so he has someone to talk to.  Him and Gracie are still texting some, but she doesn't feel the same.  We always go back to the same old crap though...he blames me for guilting him into staying here instead of moving to Denver to be with Gracie....guess I'm guilty of that.  I feel bad now that I see how upset he is.  I just wanetd him to stay around here for the boys' sakes...but maybe that was wrong of me?  I don't really think it was wrong, because the boys need him...but maybe I should have just let it go.  Plus it took me a long time to get totally over him.  I'm always saying that Karma is a bitch...but I don't like seeing anyone being miserable.  Yet I still don't want anything to do with him really.  I mean he wants to take my kids away from me.  He says that he feels that they would be better off with him.  He wants to move to Denver with them.  That's why I think he just wants them for the child support money...there's no way he can move to Denver and get his own place unless he has more money.  None of the boys want to live with him and I have told him that.  Why put them thru even more stress than they have already been thru?  Anyway, after talking about all of that crap...finally got to what he wanted in the first place...and why I hadn't answered the door before....he wanted to go back to the house for a booty call.  I told him it wasn't going to happen...so he was pissed off about that.  This is all a tiring thing. 

JM....he got back from Seattle last night.  So he called and we talked for awhile.  One of his friends told him that he would have a job for him and a place to live if he wanted to move back to Seattle.:( But he told him that he was starting a life in Colorado right now...but he would keep that in mind.  Then there was an issue with a girl up there that he had been seeing a few years ago and she wasn't "over him" or whatever.  He told me what all went on....no they didn't do anything...but not for lack of trying on her part.  I'm not sure how I'm feeling about all of that right now.  The week he was up there has been an "eye opener." 

As for my low carb diet and weight loss...I'm happy to say that I'm doing pretty good!!:)  I also started exercising again on the 10th...doing some of the exercise DVD's I have.  Feels good to be moving again.