HAPPY NEW YEAR!!:) (and my drama)

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year's Eve!!:) I did end up going out (my ex-sister-in-law offered to watch the boys). I went to a local bar with Louie and his niece Bobbi and her hubby. Well I met them down there. It wasn't too bad at first...drama later. But will get to that. Last summer, I talked some about a guy named Bobby T. Well he was there and he was trashed already and it was only like 9:30pm. He kept asking me why I didn't like him anymore, if I wanted to go home with him, etc. I'm like chill out. They later "ushered" him outside...after he passed out on the floor on the other side of the bar. He has an ankle moniter on that tells if he's been drinking or not..he's an alcoholic..but he put plastic around it. He has a decent job now and everything, so I hope that he doesn't end up screwing that up. I felt a bit bad, because Louie was probably like "what the hell??" But he knows Bobby too..so it was all good. Louie still wants more than I can give him. I told him that a friend thing is good for now. I didn't stay at the bar until midnight and felt bad about the way I left. So here's for the drama...it's probably a bit confusing..but here goes.

OK...Jason E. and I have hung out off and on since last September. I had talked about him being "the one" and all, then changed my mind. BUT I did like him as a really good friend. We had hooked up a couple of times, but I decided that that wasn't all that I wanted, so backed off some. We see each other most weeks at Bingo..when he goes. He's funny and we got along well. He would text me..even as recent as Christmas Eve..saying he wanted to hook up and I kept putting him off. He has a girlfriend who had to go back East last August because her son had died. Well they are still "together" but she "let's" him see other people..they talk all the time. Her name is Kelly. Now..Daves' niece, Angela (I still consider her my niece too) hangs out with Jason. She's a lesbian, so there's nothing going on there. We have all hung out before. Angela and I have a love/hate relationship. We either get along or we hate each other..nothing in between..it's been this way since Dave and I got married when she was about 13 or 14. OK, so she tells me that if I want to come by later, they are all hanging out (she lives with her parents) and that Jason and his girlfriend, Heather, will be there. I'm like "what?" She said they have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. That she had asked him about me and he said that we were just friends, he didn't like me that way, that I was always texting him and "flirting" with him at Bingo. I was soooo pissed!!! It's the other way around and I don't like people lying about things like that. I showed Angela the texts and since she is Heathers' friend as well, she told her about them. Well Heather (who I have never met), said that I was just trying to cause problems and that the texts didn't matter because they were from Christmas Eve and before and that they didn't really get together until Christmas Day! I'm like "wow...she's being delusional." She's very into him. There is no way he will give up Kelly. So whatever. I was upset too that he was saying that he didn't like me that way, etc. etc. So I texted him and I wasn't being nice. Then he wasn't being nice. Pretty soon..he's telling me to just let it go so we can still be friends. Well THAT'S not going to happen. My oldest, Phillip, was supposed to be at his other aunts house, but had decided to go down to Angelas.' Well then I was pissed because I figured they were saying shit about me around him. So around 11:15pm, Tina (Angelas' mom) calls me and ask what the hell is going on, why am I starting drama, etc. We talked, yelled, cried, etc for awhile (I had gone outside to talk). She says that she wouldn't allow anyone to talk about me like that, especially in front of my kids, that she loves my kids, etc. This is Daves' sister. She says that she's pissed at him because Phillip had been texting and calling Dave and he wouldn't respond, so Tina left him a not nice message. She said she felt bad for the boys, etc. OK, getting back on topic..I couldn't go back in the bar, because I had been crying. So I texted Bobbi and told her that I had to leave and that to tell Louie I was sorry. I was just going to go home, but went to moms' instead (she didn't know I was upset). I got to see the ball drop in Times Square..so that's cool. Then played cards with my mom and step-dad and felt a bit better. I deleted Jason from my phone and though I will miss his so called "friendship," I will get over it. He texted me yesterday saying that I was a good person and not to be so down on myself. I didn't answer him. He has made his choices.

OK!! Now for the whole Dave thing. He went to Denver this weekend. He texts me on Friday and then a little bit on Saturday. I don't even know where to start with this. He said he would call the boys on Saturday, well as far as I knew he didn't. So yesterday I told him that if he can't follow thru with that now..how is it going to be when he moves. He said that he DID call Phillips' phone and that when he asked to talk to the other two, Phillip said no. I told him that he should have called or texted me then and I would have made sure he got to talk to them. I told Phillip that that wasn't OK. That it was up to his brothers if they wanted to talk to him and that it wasn't his choice. Just because he is mad at his dad, doesn't mean the other two are. I guess he called and talked to them yesterday. This is what I have problems with and what I have to get away from..somehow. When Dave is in town..he texts me, calls me and we pretty much get along. When he is up there, I don't get anything, which I know is to be expected. He is with his girlfriend. But I feel like this: he can't treat me one way when he's here and then a completely different way when he's not here. I don't even know why this is still and issue for me.:( So...he gets back today. Do I ignore him and is texts?? I don't know. I feel like I'm in high school. I know we have to deal with each other because of the kids. It's NOT easy. He doesn't make it easy. Then I'm pissed off at him because of all the stress Phillip is going thru. I have to deal with his panic attacks every night. He always has a stomachache or headache..the stress is just getting to him. He misses Dave and I don't know what to do about it. So I resent Dave for not dealing with this. He doesn't like dealing with "unpleasant" things. When I try to talk to him about it, he is either like "he'll be fine," or he feels that I'm nagging. He has vacation this week and wants the boys when he gets back..says that he will get them off to school and everything. Dominic doesn't want to stay there during the week. He doesn't deal with change very well and he wants to ride the bus to school..not have someone take him. So I'm sure Dave will be upset about that. I don't have a problem with the boys staying with him this week, but it's going to be up to them. We have to see the mediator again soon and I'm not agreeing to much of anything. Dave hasn't done what he was supposed to do (get his life insurance reinstated) and he's had almost a year to do it. There's a few other things as well. Plus the whole visitation thing after he moves. I can tell you this...Dominic and Matthew won't stay a whole week that far away from me. I can't drive 3 hrs to get them every time they want to come home. I just wish this was easier somehow. I know it's insane, but I wish that Daves' gf lived closer. Then it wouldn't be a big deal. I could deal with that. At least he would be there for the kids on more of a regular basis than he will when he's in Denver. I need to figure out how to deal with all of this. My mom and step-dad are like "don't agree to anything." They are just trying to be helpful, but I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. I want what's best for the kids. I wish Dave wanted that too..but it seems to me that he wants what is best for HIM. Then the kids come second and that's not how it should be. Any advice would be appreciated.

I weighed in today...I went a whole week without weighing..woo hoo!!LOL I have lost 2 lbs..was hoping for 3, but will take the 2.:) So I weigh 314. I started taking "Fastin" again on Saturday and feel much better on it. I've been exercising for at least 30 minutes the past couple of days. I want to lose at least 3 lbs a week..that way I will be down quite a bit by Summer. So this week..I'm hoping to lose 4 lbs to get back on track.

Thank you all for listening to me..I know this was a long post.