FRUSTRATING....

I think that I will start weighing in on Thursdays. It seems like I weigh less then than I do on Mondays. I think it's because I probably eat a bit more on Saturdays..not sure. I weighed 309 last Thursday and now am back up to 313.:( It's ridiculous. So from now on, my weight will be in on Thursday mornings.:) I have been drinking more water, but the exercise thing still sucks. I went to the ER on the morning of the 21st, because my chest and upper back were really hurting. They said my heart looks OK..which is good. They also said that my potassium was a little low and my white cell count was a little high, but not too bad. So they gave me some potassium pills. They were surprised that I wasn't on them considering I'm on diuretics for high blood pressure. Had my other sleep study done last night. It's soooo annoying wearing a CPAP, but guess I'm going to have to start. The time before, I didn't go into REM sleep for 5-6 hours. He said I went into much faster last night with the CPAP on. I really need to work harder at losing this weight. I'm still taking Fastin. It DOES help me not to obsess about food, but I just need to get moving.

Saturday (28th), was my middle son, Dominics' 10th birthday. I can't believe that he's that old already. He had a party with his friends at the bowling alley. Then went to moms' for cake and ice cream and to open presents. He got an "internet tablet." He loves it!

Dave and I were having issues that day and I was NOT happy that it had to be on Dominics' birthday.:( See, the younger two had bowling league that morning. I didn't have enough gas in my jeep, so Dave took us to moms' after. Well Gracie (his gf) called during this time and I could hear her automatically start yelling. Dave was saying "I'll call you back in 5 mintues," and "that's not it at all." Well he dropped us off. I talked to him later and asked what that was all about (yes I am nosey). He didn't want to tell me at first, but then said that she was pissed off, because he hadn't texted her for a little bit and she felt that it was because I was around!!! WTF??! He ALWAYS texts her..constantly. So he doesn't for a little bit and she's flipping out. She's jealous and insecure. Doesn't trust him not to go back to me. Well TOO BAD. No, he won't come back to me, but if she wants to worry about it, that's cool with me. She's the one that screwed around with a married man. If he can leave a wife after 12 years and 3 kids, then what's to stop him from leaving her?? I was pissed!!! I thought that that was all behind us. I have had to accept a bunch of crap that I didn't want to accept. Dave and I still have a friendship and I feel that I can't give that up. She's going to have to accept it. I told Dave that she won't and he says "she'll have to." Yeah right. He thinks that it will all be better after he moves up there. Is he delusional???? If anything, it's going to be worse. She will have more control up there. I told him he won't be "allowed" to text me or call me. I will be surprised if he will even be allowed to talk to the boys. I told him that if she doesn't "get over it" and realize that I'm always going to be around and accept that Dave and I are friends and will stay that way and unless she's able to tell me all of this to my face, then our kids aren't allowed to go up there. I won't have my kids around a jealous, insecure, psycho bitch...hey, that sounds like ME sometimes!!LOL But seriously, if she's going to be like that, she doesn't need to be around my kids. Dave says that things will be fine and that she will accept things. I don't think so, but you can't convince him of that. I think he's just going to make a huge mistake by moving up there. He won't listen though. I was sooo mad and upset that day. I was crying (I do that when I get mad...very annoying). He was telling me to calm down, don't cry and that things will work out. Yeah whatever. This was not too long before the party. So I wasn't exactly thrilled with it all.

I hear that Heather is pregnant now and that her and Jason are getting married. Whatever.

I went over to Louies' once a week or so ago..he just made me feel a bit uncomfortable, so haven't talked to him much since then. He is kinda pissed off at me at the moment, since I won't quit saying that I just want to be friends. Oh well, he'll get over it. I didn't want to lead him on and make him believe that there was a chance for anything else.

Did I tell you that my sister, Bev, is engaged???!!!! I'm sooo happy for her!!!:)