MY WEEKEND

Dave went to Denver and Phillip went with him again. I know that Phillip likes hanging out with her kids. He came back this time and was OK. AND the best news is that I wasn't soooo upset the whole weekend like I usually am when Dave is up there. Woo Hoo!!LOL It's a step in the right direction. Dave is still seeing the boys after school and I have no problems with that. I'm just letting the anger and resentment go..well trying to anyway. Trying to do what is best for my kids. It doesn't matter how I feel or how Dave feels, it's about how our kids feel.

Osama Bin Laden is dead! Another WOO HOO!! It took long enough, but at least he's gone now. There are so many more like him though. We will never be able to get all of them, but this is an accomplishment. Some people are just evil and he was one of them..along with Hitler. I don't understand how someone can have so much hate inside of them that they want to kill as many people as possible and be OK with it.

My neck WAS getting better...now it's just itching like crazy and driving me insane. I helped mom clean a house the other day like I have for years. I have never had any issues with the cleaning products. Well this time, every time I sprayed the bathroom cleaner, I was sneezing and my eyes got all itchy. So now I'm becoming allergic to things? I have also noticed that when I eat peanuts...I'm usually nauseous and sick for awhile after, so have stopped eating those. Don't know what is going on.

This is MAY and we got SNOW!! Quite a bit actually. We haven't gotten snow all Winter pretty much. Then we get this?? Crazy ass weather.LOL

OK, this may get graphic for a moment..actually I won't make it too graphic because I'm just not that kind of person. But was just warning you, in case you didn't want to read it. My friends and I went out on Saturday night. I drank A LOT. More than I usually do. I won't use my friends' real names here..so will just use initials. J decided that she wanted to go home around 11:30pm. She's married and the the other girl and I aren't. So then M starts talking to some guys. Well these one guys we know. Went to school with one of them and the other is a friend of his. Then there were a couple of other guys. We left the bar at closing and all of us decided to go back to the hotel room where the guy we went to school with and his friend were staying. There was another girl too, and she drove. She hadn't been drinking. So we stayed there for awhile. One of the other guys...Will...he is HOT. But you can tell he's a player. Just the way he acts. Well M is all over him pretty much. But he keeps talking to me and coming on strong. Plus I'm talking to the other guys and just laying across the bed. Like I said, I was pretty drunk. After awhile, the one girl leaves and one of the guys. She asked if we needed a ride..since it was snowing and all. M said no that she was going to stay. So I decided to stay with her. She's a really good friend and she was pretty wasted too and I didn't want to go home yet anyway. Then after a bit, M and the other two guys..Will and his friend Scotty, decide they are ready to leave and I go with them. The other guys that we knew better asked if we were sure we wanted to go with them. I told them since M was adamant that she was going, that I was going to go too. We walked to another hotel and they got a room. OK so Will and M are still messing around some. But he's still coming on to me. Scotty and I are talking some too. I knew that they wanted the whole sex thing. I mean seriously. We have all been drinking and then we get a room??? M acts a little like she didn't know that that would happen..but then says that Will is hot and so anyway..they are in one bed and Scotty and I are in another. I'm not going into details here, but M and I ended up doing both of them. They both gave me their phone numbers which shocked the hell out of me. Scotty texted me back..Will hasn't really. He is the one that I would want to really hang out with again, though Scotty is cool. Will and I found out that we both went to the same Job Corps in Montana, but about 5-6 years apart. I thought that was cool. I did feel like a ho. But this is my life, I'm single, there are things I want to experience before I'm too old and I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm a bit more wild than M is. If she hadn't been drinking so much she would never have done them..or at least not both of them. I probably would have..I'll be honest. Just for the experience and besides, I like sex. I hope I don't lose readers over this. I'm just being honest about it all. I don't know why I do half the things I do anymore. Maybe it IS the fact that I'm getting older and I'm freaking out, maybe it's because I'm insecure and think that I have to do that to get attention from guys, maybe it is an addiction, maybe it's none of those. I really don't know. I'm just me. Trying to be happy. I may not be making the right decisions as far as I'M concerned, but I will always make sure that I make the right decisions where my boys are concerned. I never bring guys around them. They don't need "uncles" like I have seen so many women do. That part of my life is separate and will always be. Both of them said they wanted to see us again...but I don't think M ever will. I will though, if they ask. But I'm not holding my breath.LOL I'm OK with being friends or whatever with guys from now on. Tired of trying to "find" a relationship. I'm not good at them...obviously. I'm better of as the friend or the FWB. If I ever DID find a relationship, then all of my screwing around would stop. But, for now, this is just how my life is going. I DO believe in Heaven and Hell and I hope that all of this doesn't get me sent to Hell. I try to do good and be good in all other aspects of my life.