LIFES UP & DOWNS

Went to Colorado Springs with my friend, Tracy, on the 7th. It was fun.:) Nice to get away and talk to an old friend! There is a comfort knowing that this person has known me since I was 5 and knows how my life has been. I don't have to explain anything and she's always been there and has known me in my not so great times. Nothing like a childhood friend. I love all of my new friends too..but they can never know me like I "used to be." Anyway, I was able to buy a few Christmas presents.:) I think the boys will like them. I saw her new house that they just bought in Canon City as well...VERY NICE! I wish that my house was more "open" like that and not so gloomy. But I'm just thankful that I HAVE a house after everything that has happened.

Dave went to Denver yesterday for the weekend. The boys and I were going to go up today for Nicoles' kids' party, but decided against it. For one, the kids don't want to go and for another my jeep is acting weird and I don't want to get stuck somewhere. PLUS it's supposed to snow some tomorrow and I don't like driving in the mountains in the snow. Sean won't be happy with my decision, I'm sure, but we haven't really talked much this past week anyway. I don't hear from Jeff anymore. I still talk to Mike K and things are going really good.:) I hope that it stays that way. Makes me feel like I'm in high school again. That excitement when he calls me or I get a text from him....

I have known this guy..they call him Paco..since I was about 19 or 20. He's a bit older than me..he just turned 60. That's way too old for me. But he's a pretty cool guy and sweet. We still talk some when we see each other. He asked me to come over tonight and watch a movie, so I may just do that. Would be nice to hang out with a friend and just chill.

Jason is mad at me. He wanted to come stay a night last weekend (basically a booty call) and I made an excuse why he couldn't come over or whatever. If he called on a regular basis and we talked more..then maybe I wouldn't have a problem with it. But don't call me for a booty call once a month or so and that's the only time you talk to me. Not going to happen.

My mom got her cow elk on the 8th!!!:) It was her first elk that she's EVER gotten. I didn't know that. Her and my dad used to go hunting all the time when I was a kid, so I just assumed that she had gotten one before. So I'm very happy for her and proud of her.:) My step-dad has a buck tag, but not sure if he will get one or not. It really wears him out. Plus I'm worried about him. He is starting to get confused easily it seems and says words for things that don't make sense. Like he was going to get the gun out of the truck for my mom the other night (after hunting) and he said "I will get your airplane in a little bit." He didn't even realize that he had said that.:( He just turned 65 on the 6th. I hope that he's not getting Alzheimer's. My grandma had that and it's a HORRIBLE disease.

I went to a funeral the other day..one of the guys I went to school with...Randy...his mom had passed away. Even though Randy and I weren't close in school and didn't hang out together, we talk now when we see each other. I would like someone to be there for me when one of my loved ones die (hopefully not any time soon) and I wanted to be there for him. Just to let him know that I was there. Is that weird? It's hard now...getting older and having more people that you know die.

The weight isn't really going anywhere. I've started keeping a food journal. Trying to watch the carbs, but still around 313. I really need to do better...just don't know how sometimes.

Oh, the guy I hooked up with in August..don't know if I told you about that or not...Steve...anyway he works at 7-11 so I see him every now and then. He wanted just more sex and not anything else, so I said no thanks. Well he sent me a message on Facebook the other day and said that he wasn't ready for a relationship but he would like the sex part (I hadn't heard from him in awhile). I was at one of my weak points, so I said that maybe we could do that. Well I checked my Facebook again last night and he's like "never mind, you've been talking to so and so and spreading rumors and act like an adult," etc. I'm like WTF?! I don't even talk about this guy to anyone because he's not worth talking about..sorry to be so mean, but he pissed me off. I sent him a mesasge back and wasn't nice. Told him basically that he's an asshole. I hate when people accuse me of something that I NEVER did. That's one of the biggest "no nos" with me. He could have ASKED me, but he didn't. Then I called him (he was at work) and asked what he hell was going on. He said that there are rumors going around...and for some reason, he decided that they were coming from me. Whatever. He told me that if I wasn't going to be an "adult," then I can quit coming into the store when he's working. I'm like you can't tell me when to go into a store!!LOL I get tired of small town bullshit. So he just blew whatever chance he had with me. I don't need that kind of crap. I have enough drama of my own.