Separated....

Well today made it "official." We are now legally separated...is that like purgatory? Not in Heaven or Hell? Not married, but not divorced either? Who knows. I just know that it's a sad thing. If we want a divorce, we now have to wait 6 months...a lot can change in those 6 months. He is a lot more upset about this than I am. I mean, I'm upset, but I guess I went thru the majority of the pain before when he first left and everything. Now he has to go thru it, I guess. Though he brought on this pain himself. I wouldn't have filed on my own. He was pushing it and so that's that. I'm going to start trying to find a relationship counselor tomorrow. I don't know if that will help us, but might as well try. The way things are now...he just annoys me some. He would move back in right now if I let him.

As for Jayson...I was supposed to go see him tomorrow...but I've been sick the past couple of days and don't feel like it would be any fun being there if I feel like crap. But, of course, he takes it personal. Says he must not be doing something "right." I'm like whatever. Plus my kids are all sick now and will be dealing with that for at least a couple of days. They come first and he says he understands that, but he sure as hell doesn't act like it at times. I think that I rushed into this relationship too fast. I'm pretty much in limbo right now where my personal life is concerned.

My grandmas' funeral was "nice" as far a funerals go. A lot of relatives that I haven't seen for a long time were there and it was awesome to see them! I hope that we can keep in touch more instead of just seeing each other at funerals. So depressing.

Weight is about the same. As crappy as I feel right now, I don't feel like eating anyhow.