Endings.....

My grandma died on the 7th.:( Her graveside services are tomorrow. She was 90 and was my dads' mom. I will miss her. I wasn't as close to her as I was to my other grandma, but I still have fond memories of her. I love her and it does hurt. I wasn't able to see her the day she died and that kind of upsets me now. I didn't realize the reason or find out the reason, until later. My aunt (her daughter) and her grandson was living with her at the time. The grandson is like 50, I believe or somewhere in there. Anyway, I had my 6 year old son, Matthew, with me. My aunt opened the door and she wasn't rude or anything, but she said that Matthew couldn't come in. I thought it was because she didn't want him to see grandma that way. So I said I would try to come back later. I wasn't able to and grandma died that night.:( I later found out that the reason Matthew couldn't go in, because my cousin (the grandson) was there and he's a registered sex offender. I knew this, but I'm pretty sure that my kids have been around him before when they were with me. I just think it sucks that he couldn't go in the other room for a few friggin' minutes. So I guess I am a little angry about that. Him and is brother molested me when I was little and I still have issues with that. At least they never raped me, but other things are bad as well. I have never confronted them about it and nobody knew for the longest time. Anyway!

I really hope that there IS a Heaven and that she's there now with my grandpa (he's been gone for 33 years) and my dad who has been gone for 9 years.

Then Dave and I have court on Thursday the 15th. We will then be legally separated. That makes me sad too. A LOT of things can change from one year to the next for sure.