Tuesday

OK, so I couldn't come up with a better title today.:) Can't believe that Thanksgiving is almost here...I love the Holidays, but I start getting a little stressed out around the actual days...Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. After my dad left when I was 12, it was usually only my mom, maternal grandma (I miss you!), my two younger sisters and I. Well all day would be spent cooking and then by the time it was time to eat, everyone was hungry and tired and pissed off at someone else. So I remember a lot of tension. Especially because my youngest sister was a handful. Her teenage years...well let's just say I'm surprised she survived them (there were times I was ready to take her out!)lol Only half joking. So there was definitely problems with her. So, even now, though usually everything is fine, I wake up on those days feeling a bit tense and "ready for arguments." My middle sister says she feels the same way. I don't know for sure what I'm doing that day yet. My sister-in-law invited me down to her place (where Dave is living). He told me to come over too. I figure I better go since this may be the last year I'm invited. Maybe they WILL accept Gracie and then I will be out totally. That would suck. My mom and step-dad are just going to go the community dinner this year and want me to go, so I may go to that one first. I'm not going to eat a whole lot at either place. When Dave and I were together, we would always eat at his dads' and then my moms'. His dad passed away in August 2008 and now that's where him and his sister are living. Anyway, I'm still having a hard time with this. Then I was thinking "what if he spends New Years Eve with her??" That would upset me immensely...but he doesn't have the next day off, so I don't feel so bad.:) I know, I have to be better at letting go...I am MUCH better than I was at the beginning, but it's still a long road.

On the brighter side, I have been walking every day...so feel good. I usually do the "official weigh-in" on Wednesdays, so will let you know tomorrow how things are going. I walked last night and it was freezing out! Harder to breathe for sure when you have all that cold air going into your lungs. But I was proud of myself for going anyway.:)