WEARY.....

Do you ever just feel so tired...it's like your soul is tired.  I don't know if that makes any sense or not.  I just let life get to me sometimes.  Too much going on.  Too many people being sick.  I have realized that getting old is a pretty horrible thing...but then so is death.  Either way...it's gonna happen.  I just don't like the idea of getting sick, of having to have someone take care of you & most likely it won't be a family member.  It's like you revert back to being a kid again.  Not something to look forward to.  Whoever said that they were "the golden years" must have been drunk.   I used to like going down to my mom's..playing cards with them, having a barbecue, just hanging out...but not anymore.  All they do is argue.  I can understand that they are both stressed out & don't feel well...but geez.  It's to the point where you can just feel the tension in the house.  A lot of things can change so fast.  I wish that there was some sort of warning system...like they have the sirens for the tornadoes...I think that the universe should send some kind of sign or warning before big life changes.LOL  Hey, it would be quite helpful. 

Work is going well.  They have cut my hours, which is fine.  Doing OK basically.  Just gotta control my impulses to gamble.  The more stressed out I am, the more I want to do that.  So just gotta control it.  Another thing I have to control is the whole sex thing.  I still have times where I just want to use that as a way of dealing with the stress of life.  To "escape" for a bit.  Of course, I don't, because I have JM, even though he doesn't even want sex with me.  I must like torturing myself or something.  But love is more important than sex, right?

I'm still exercising for 50 minutes a day at least.  Sometimes I skip a day.  I measured myself on the 5th and have lost 12.5 inches all over.  That's cool.:)  Though I have a lot more to go.  Every little bit helps.

Matthew & Dominic both missed most of last week of school.  They have been sick.  Matthew gets high fevers every time he gets a cold or anything.  The other night..it got up to like 103.7.  It's just crazy.  Phillip has been going to school, though he did miss one day last week.  He knows that he can't do that anymore or they will turn it into the courts.  They have already told him that, so hopefully they didn't do that.  He only has a bit more school left before Summer vacation, so I told him to suck it up & just go.