I'M ALIVE.;)

I can't believe that it's been a month since I have really written anything.  Just haven't felt like dealing with it all...so have kind of kept to myself.  Not all things have been bad.  I have been going to work as I'm scheduled.  I've been using my exercise DVD's & feel better for it.  I just got back today from spending a few days with JM.  It was nice.  It always is.  Watching movies, talking & cuddling.  Sex is not part of our relationship right now & not sure it ever will be, but I'm learning to deal with that.  Doesn't mean it's not difficult at times.  I love him a lot & would like to share that with him, but I see no sense in pushing it anymore.  Just causes arguments & me being upset.  As some of you know, I have been on Social Security for over 20 years.  I have a bit of a learning disability, depression, anxiety.  Anyway, I had worked in 2004-2006 & now again starting last November.  Well I went over the limit in December by like $20...so they are thinking of taking away my Social Security.  This would be a major catastrophe for me & my kids.  I went to the office in Canon City on the 14th (the letter they sent said that I needed to respond within 10 days..so I was able to get an appt).  I filled out some more papers, she said it could take up to 6 months for them to review my case, get medical records, maybe have me see some of "their" doctors, etc.  But that I should still be getting the money until they make a decision.  Well I got back today & there was a letter out of Washington DC saying that they had decided that I wasn't entitled to SS anymore & that I owed them $2500.  So I was flipping out.  But the letter was dated March 17th...which was a Sunday & I had just seen that lady on the Thursday before, so I think that they just didn't realize that I had turned in the papers.  I'm hoping that's it. I need to call them in the morning and see what's going on.  If I lose my SS, I would also lose my medical.  The kids & I were barely making it before...there's no way that we could make it on what little I make at Wal Mart.  Yes there's the child support, but that would just go towards the house payment now.  I would have to go back on food stamps.  I don't even know how we would make it.  I know that there are people out there that are worse off than me, but right now, I'm just trying to figure out what I'M going to do.  I had started working a bit again, so I could get some bills caught up & have a little extra money for the kids & I to do things.  In doing so, I lost my food stamps right away.  OK...so that's fine, we adapted.  But this is a whole different story.  They would be taking away a lot of money that we depend on to live.  I'm just hoping & praying that they are still reviewing it & haven't already made their final decision yet.

Phillip has started going back to school...though this week is Spring Break.  They have told him that if he misses one more day, that it will be turned over to the courts.  I just hope that he doesn't blow it.  I know that he can do this.  He just has to learn to ignore the bullies..but that isn't an easy thing to do.
Dominic &  Matthew are both doing good.  Dominic is getting A's & B's...he has one C in Math...just having some problems with fractions.  Hard to believe that there is only 2 months of school left before Summer.  Not sure what I'm doing yet.  If I'm staying here or moving...will see what happens in the next few weeks.

My step-dad isn't doing all that great...still on oxygen, lost quite a bit of weight & just doesn't look good.  My mom hasn't been well since around the middle of February.  She had the flu & pneumonia at first, then had strep throat.  Now she has this horrible cough that won't go away.:(  I worry about both of them a lot.

My niece, Madison, turned 11 today (well on the 24th).  So we went & had cake & ice cream with her.  My other niece, Taylor will be 15 next month!!  My sister (their mom), Bev, turned 40 on March 20th.  I need to get her a present still after I get paid later this week.  There are a lot of birthdays this month & next in our family.