WTF TO A FEW THINGS!!

First, how can I gain 7 lbs. in a week???????????????!!!!!!! I'm soooooo stressed out right now. There is no reason for that. Have I been eating too many carbs? Have I not drank enough water? Have I not exercised enough? Yes to all of those...but SEVEN POUNDS???? I'm disgusted with myself. Maybe I was just meant to be fat. I'm just feeling sooo down on myself today. Instead of NOT wanting to eat, I find myself WANTING to eat..I mean WHY NOT? Obviously I suck at losing weight. I can gain weight at the drop of a hat...but losing it?? Yeah right. I'm soo tired of this. Why can't I control myself? I'm 42 not 5. So now what do I do? I don't have the money to buy a lot of low carb food right now. I obviously can't eat carbs AT ALL. So do I starve myself until I can afford it? I don't even know anymore. I have read blogs on here and other people can lose weight..they have willpower and control. I feel like a failure.

Then Dave and I have to talk to the cops today. Phillip has been bullied off and on for years. Usually by other boys. So if it came down to it, he could just punch them in the face..but he won't, because he's a "big" kid and could seriously hurt someone and he knows that. He's 5'11 and towers over all the other kids. Well now this bratty little girl gives him crap every friggin' day. Calling him "fatso," etc. I have asked her to stop before, but obviously she doesn't understand English. Then she put something on his Facebook last night (called him "Fatso" again), so my 19 year old niece, Justine, wrote on there for her to leave him alone. Well this little 13/14 year old girl went off! You should hear some of the things that came out of that girls' mouth! I will actually put them on here in a minute. She actually threatened Justine ON FACEBOOK! Is she crazy??! You can't do that anymore. Too many kids killing other kids, too many suicides over all of this crap. I won't let her do this to Phillip any longer. I don't want her in serious trouble. I just want her to chill out and understand what she is doing is wrong. Yes he can stick up for himself, but when it has gone on this long and it's EVERY DAY?? Then I'm stepping in. So will go the the cops with Dave and ask for their advice on the matter. Talk to her parents and the principal. At least scare her a little. I just hope this doesn't make things worse for Phillip. He even asked me last night if he could move to Denver with Dave, because he couldn't put up with it anymore!!!!!!:( He said he would never switch schools before, especially to a city school, but now he's thinking about it because of some little witch?? It would devastate me for him to move away from me. So hopefully it won't come to that. Just so overwhelmed with everything right now. THE CONVERSATION:



Justine: U need to learn some respect little girl. And learn how to talk to an adult, and other peoples family


Danielle: I hav enow stop calling me a little fucking' girl or else


Justine: Hahahaha or else what?


Danielle: ummmmm lets see I could call facebook and say you're showing pictures of profanity on ur wall or I could call the FBI and put you under arrest or I could get my friend dovie the ninja to go and murder you hmmmm let us see I could do pretty much anything... and get your adress from phillip or anything


Justine: Profanity??????? Fbi????? Ur friend will kill me???? U r threatning me?????? Well hmmm. Phillip aint gunna tell u crap. Try something.


Danielle: I can't hmm let's see why he not here at my house ok now good bye bitch


Justine: Watch ur mouth girl....


Danielle: oh u heard me I don;t care little son of a mother fucking bitch :(


Danielle: ooohhhhhhh whacha gonna du now bitch ohhhhh :(


Danielle: ‎;(


Justine: Wow, so immature. Drop all of this nonsense


Danielle: wha wha wha wha mommy mommy come help me I'll bet that's what u are wailing wha wha wha wha wha wha and profanity because your fat ass mountains are showing on ur profile/profenity picture so suck my mile long freak of nature and sex so sluty perverted whore leave me alone now and forever bitch!!!!!!!!


Danielle: why would I when you are a lying cheating slutty whore-like bastard!!!! and wowowowowow you're calling me immature why don't you look in a mirror and say immature again to your fat ugly whore face huh bitch huh ??????????????????????????​?????????????????


Justine: Haha wow... That's funny. U have nothing better to do then talk crap


Danielle: I don't flirt with everyone just my crush and it'd NOT NOT NOT NOT joey, his name is writen all over everything of mine and he was the only one that I gave A valentine to AND WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT THERES ABSOULUTLY NO WAY I'LL EVER NEVER GO BACK OUT WITH YOU AND JUST AN FYI I WAS CONSIDERING IT BUT NOW NEVER IN 50 MILLOIN YEARS ALL YOU VIGIL AND GRAY SHITS OK NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN EVER NOT IN A MILLION YEARS OR EVEN IN HELL WHERE WE'LL ALL GO BECAUSE OF YOU OK GREAT JUST GREAT NOW I'M GONNA DIE IN BLOODY HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR GOD DAMN FUCKING FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!! OR WILL I EVER GO OUT WITHA NY FAT WHORE LIKE BITCHES EVER AGAIN OK YOU LITTLE MOTHER FUCKERS !!!!!!!!


Yes Justine CAN be an instigator...she learned that from her mother. But actually she was pretty mild on here and didn't say anything too horrible. She was just trying to stick up for Phillip and I give her credit for that. Like I said, I don't want Danielle getting into major trouble. She just needs to chill out a little bit. There was no reason for half the stuff she said and she didn't need to put "You Fatso" on his page for everyone to see. I didn't put that on here, because that's all it said. Just ridiculous. Glad I'm not a teenager anymore.


On a lighter note, I'm taking Dominic to the movies tonight. I was going to take him Tuesday night, but they were closed (they are closed on Mondays and Tuesdays)..yes this is a small town. Then I'm going to lunch today with Joannie, so that will be cool.

Another thing to be stressed about..money. March is the last month that Dave has to make the house payment. Starting in April, it's on me. The boys and I aren't going to have money to do much of anything. I was having a big pity party for myself yesterday. But now...well the two younger ones have a bowling tournament in Denver in the middle of May (great have to put up with Gracie again). So I'm going to save some money for that..a hotel, gas, food, etc. Was going to take the boys to Nebraska to see family there at the beginning of June, but will have to wait until August or September for that..because I will have to get a job and get some money first. There are really no jobs around here..unless I want to clean hotel rooms (which I suck at) or fast food..yuck. But you take what you can get. I can only work part-time. I won't go into why on here, but that's all I can do. I'm also going to see about taking some on-line courses for something..not sure what yet. I need something better than having to work fast food. So I need to lose weight for the job too...I don't want to look huge. They make you tuck your shirts in at those places...that won't be a pretty sight!!LOL

It's cold today and has been VERY WINDY the past few days..plus now it's snowing. So that's always fun. Not looking forward to going out in it, but will try to be brave.;)

Tim, I want to thank you for commenting on my blog. It makes me feel better about things. You're right about making lists. I'm going to start doing that. Just need to get my life and my house organized.