FEELING SICK

I started feeling crappy last night and still don't feel good...nauseous and just "icky." So, for today, I think I will just sleep some and rest. I need to let the stress go. Just not sure how. I texted my sister last night (the one I'm closest to) and told her that Dave decided to be with Gracie again...she texted back "well you didn't want him back anyway, right?" WTF??! Is she NOT supposed to have my back? Guess not. She has been thru the whole divorce thing too. I don't know why she thought it would be so easy for me to take him back after everything that had happened. I just think that all the negative people in my life...that I'm just going to have to move on from them. I love my sister...but I'm the one who reaches out to her all the time, she never does that for me. I know she works a lot, but she makes time for her friends. So whatever. It makes me sad, because my youngest sister and I haven't even talked or seen each other in over 2 years! We probably won't either. I wish her the best though. My mom and step-dad now have custody of her daughter..who will be 18 in January. Well my sister is pregnant again and due in October. It's crazy..she had my niece when she was 14 and wasn't able to get pregnant again til now...she' 32. She didn't make the best parent the first time around...hope she does better with this one. It's supposed to be another girl.

Dave may want to be with Gracie...hell I really don't know what he wants. But he came over this morning for sex. Did I give in? Yep. He is still MY husband and I love him. But I don't have any illusions or is it delusions?? I know that he wants his cake and eat it too. I told him yesterday, that she will start nagging him again, pressuring him, etc and then what is he going to do? Especially if he ever moves up there and can't just come back? He would have to transfer up there and would have to be up there for at least a year before he could transfer back and even then, there's no guarantee that there would be an opening here. Plus I know how much he would miss his own kids while he has to be up there dealing with hers. I told him that he just really needs to think about it. He said he would..but who knows.

My oldest had a probation meeting the other day and he may be off of probation in 6 months instead of another year! So that's good news.:)

Dave is supposed to be taking me to Denver on the 13th to get my plane for Las Vegas...he says he's not going to see her, that she has to work...but like I believe that. My flight is in the morning, so he would have all day with her. My oldest wants to go too...so he would tell me if Dave saw her. Dave is like "that's too early in the morning for him to get up." Yeah whatever.