COMPUTER & STUFF

My computer is fried.  Too many viruses...can't get into a lot of my sites..even this one is being weird.  Jeff is getting a copy of Windows 7...going to have to totally erase my hard drive, which I'm not happy about, but there's really nothing else to do.  So need to spend the next day or so putting all of my picture files on Photo Bucket.  Will take a bit.  I don't know if I downloaded something funky...I try not to download much at all...or if my son Phillip had downloaded something.  He tends to do that even if I ask him not to.  He hasn't been using my computer too much lately, but the damage has been done. 

My weight is being ridiculous.  Well guess it's really ME that's being ridiculous.  Just feeling out of control with everything.  I want to eat ALL THE TIME.  It sucks.  I have been trying to be good....not to have any carbs or very little if I do.  I'm back up in the 300's & that's unacceptable.  I will figure it out though.  I won't/can't let myself get any higher than this.  It will just be all downhill from there if I do.  I watched a few episodes of "My 600 lb Life" the other night.  Some of those people are able to lose the weight with gastric bypass & some aren't.  A lot of it is mental & making you're stomach smaller won't necessarily help.  That would be me.  It's all mental for me for the most part.  One woman who frustrated me on there...she just decided she couldn't/wouldn't do it.  She was unable to get out of bed, so her husband was fixing all of her food.  He was basically enabling her.  If she can't get out of bed, then bring her less food or healthier food & not so much of it.  What is she going to do about it?  Yes she would bitch & complain, but that's about it.  She had a 5 year old son that she wasn't able to do anything with...go to his Kindergarten graduation etc, but she justified it my saying she was there for him more than a woman working would be.  Hanging out with him on her bed, getting him ready for Halloween, etc.  That isn't the same, but guess she made herself feel better by saying that.  She kept repeating the same thing...that she was a better mom than mom's who had to work for a living.  I was also frustrated with her husband.  He seemed resigned to the fact that she was the way she is, even though it was going to end up killing her.  She was on oxygen, had severe cellulitis in her legs.  I don't want to be anywhere NEAR that.  Don't want to give up like that.  I'm thankful that I can go for walks & do things with my kids. Yes I may get tired easily or my knees/hips may hurt after I go for a walk, but at least I can get out of bed...and for that I'm grateful.