OK, one of my readers HAS made a valid point. How can I expect Dave to be faithful and monogamous, when I'm not? I have explained this to him numerous times...that I don't know if I can be faithful or even want to at this point. I DO love him, make no mistake about that, but there are exciting things to do out there and cool people to meet, that you can't do or meet if you are tied down. If I KNEW for sure that I could be with just Dave again for the long haul, then I would do that in a heartbeat. But I just don't know anymore. He says he won't give up..which is up to him. But while he's not giving up, I have to live my life and figure out what I want to do and what is best for my kids. Yes having their dad around all the time would be great for them...but if he decides AGAIN he wants to leave...then that will hurt them even more. Am I willing to take that chance? Not really. I have never brought any guys around my kids and I don't plan on doing that any time in the near future. I don't know why I feel the need to defend myself, but HE'S the one that left ME...not the other way around. He can't just expect to come back and everything be great, just because HE has decided that that's what he wants NOW. I have never been truly on my own and now I'm just going with the flow. If and when I decide to get back with Dave for the long haul, then I will let you know. Until then, I will keep blogging, knowing that some of the things that I say and do won't make everyone happy. But then again, I'm tired of trying to make everyone else happy. As long as my kids are OK and all, then I should be trying to make MYSELF happy.
On a brighter note...Matthew graduated from Kindergarten last night!!:) Very hard to believe. He looked very cute and did really well.:) A lot of people there and very warm!!! But everyone had a good time. Today is the last day of school for the older two! The year has gone by fast.
The weekend went OK as well. The boys had fun bowling and we had a nice time as a family. Played miniature golf, went swimming..it was nice. I have sucked at my diet and need to get back on track. I weigh tomorrow...so we shall see.
Hope everyone is having a great week!:)
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