OK, maybe that's a little strong...but I feel like one. But I have good news first!!:) I have lost 6 lbs...for a total of 25 lbs since I started trying last August!! I could have lost A LOT more, but I haven't been consistent.:( I've started walking again and trying to drink more water instead of Mt. Dew. I still have a long ways to go, but I'll get there.
Not for the sucky news. OK, now some people may see me as "snoopy" but really I'm not. If the opportunity presents itself....OK, my ex...Dave...has been trying to get me back since February as some of you know. He broke up with the "other woman" in February and said he would have nothing more to do with her...no contact of any kind. I told him that was "mandatory" if we even had a slight chance of getting back together. He has been asking who I'm talking to etc, and bugging the hell out of me about it basically. Making me feel guilty for wanting to spend some time with Jayson. Anyway...I had asked him numerous times if he had heard from her...if he had been texting her or anything and he said that she sends him forwards sometimes, but that he never responds. So I basically took him at his word. I would ask him if he missed her at all and he would say no. OK that's all well and good. Today I was at my sister-in-law's (where he lives). He was at work and I was there, because my youngest son wanted to play the X-Box. So I decided to get on her computer...which I never do anymore, but wanted to get on Facebook and all for a bit. I went to yahoo to check my mail and HIS page came up. Well, I HAD to know. I really thought that I wouldn't find anything. Well he e-mailed her on April 25th saying that he was sorry for being such an ass, sorry that he hadn't answered her texts, that there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't think about her, that he misses her and that she will always be in his heart!! WTF?????!!!! Of course, I copied the damn things. Oh, she had sent him a few back saying that she was SOOO happy to hear from him, because she had a big hole in her life (amongst other places I'm sure) because she had lost her best friend...poor, poor ho. Yes, I know I'm not being nice. Telling him that he shouldn't trade his happiness just to make the kids happy, etc. Saying that she wouldn't tell me anything that they were talking again...so he HAD to have asked her not to. Well now he's a mess. Saying he's sorry, that he knows he fucked up again, that he will have NO MORE contact with her at all. He said it didn't mean anything, that it was just a "friend" thing. He just doesn't get it!! This is the woman he left me for! He can't be friends with her!!! So I told him that he blew it big this time, that he needs to stay away from me, that it's OVER. Well he won't accept that. He cried and begged. I was proud of myself for being "cold." I DO love him, but how many times can he break my heart? This was a trial period to see if I could trust him again. I was going to give him 6 months to prove to me that he could be trusted and he blows it in 2 1/2?? He says that he loves ME, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, that he wants it the way it was. The thing is, we had been getting along so well. Playing Yahtzee like we used to, going for walks, laughing etc. Yet he was going to continue to lie to me! If I wouldn't have found those e-mails, he would never have told me he was still talking to her. I would have went on my merry way thinking everything was great, while she was laughing behind my back! It pisses me off sooo bad!!! Another bad thing (well there are a couple)...is the boys have a bowling tournament in Colorado Springs this weekend. We're leaving in the morning and coming back on Monday. Dave and I were getting along, so we're driving down together and already have a room with the boys!!! Holy crap!! How much can I take?? So now have to act happy for the boys' sake and I WILL do that. I told Dave after this weekend, he needs to back off. That I won't answer his phone calls, texts, etc. That if she is worth losing everything over, then go for it. I told him that while we are in Colorado Spgs. that one kid can sleep with me and the other with him and one on the rollaway bed.
OK, here is more...don't know if I mentioned it before or not. My middle sister and I have always been pretty close. I love her dearly. She knows how much Dave hurt me, etc. I talked to her about it! I found out last week that they have been texting each other (so supposedly he can get me back and maybe she has some advice on how to do that). Do I think they'll hook up...probably not, but that's NOT the point. I see it as a betrayal. It was behind my back. I had no clue. Well today I sent her a text and wasn't very nice. I apologized and said I was just upset with Dave and told her what he did. She tells me that she's not going to argue about it, because he's her friend too!!!! WHATEVER!!! So needless to say, I won't be talking to her anytime soon. I thought I was past this drama, but obviously not. I'm hurt and I'm pissed off.
.
4 comments:
Jerk. And seriously, your sister should have YOUR back, that's what sisters are for. Can't believe it.
I'm sorry that you're hurt.
However, I have to ask, are you doing anything to meet Dave halfway on trying to restore your relationship? Because, you basically put him on the hook by saying, "You must prove to me that you're serious about getting back with me by doing/not doing _______ for six months." And then you tell him that you're not sure you can take him back at all while calling and texting a guy who's practically half your age. Basically, it sounds like you're demanding that he be monogamous (or at least reserve all romantic feelings for you alone) while you continue to form emotional attachments to whomever you want. Yes, Dave hurt you. Yes, he can be a jerk. But don't expect him to jump though hoops for you without any kind of reward or at least a promise of one. Men don't work for free. If you're completely unwilling to work with Dave to restore your marriage, maybe it's time to file for divorce.
You're totally right. I have explained this to him. That really at this point in my life, I don't know if I care to even be in a monogamous relationship anymore...what' the point? Not all people cheat, but a majority do. That's a messed up thing to say, I know...but I was faithful for over 11 years and look where things went. There are more exciting things out there...and it's hard to do exciting things when you're tied down. When you hit 40..you may understand that more..or maybe you will be happy in the life that you have like some people are. I don't know. I'm not going to judge you. As of April 15th, we are legally separated. We have to wait another 6 months if we want to make it a divorce. He doesn't want the divorce now, but I'm not sure what I want. As for Jayson...you're right...he IS way too young for me. But you have to learn to live in the moment sometimes.
I'm sorry if my comment upset you. I'm not out to judge you or anything. If I were 40 and separated, I might consider hooking up with a younger guy, too. Jayson just sounds like a whiner. And I HATE whiners.
My point was that unless you are actively working with Dave to restore your marriage, it isn't fair to demand anything of him. As long as you're doing what you want, he might as well be free to do what he wants, too. If he chooses to talk to "the other woman", what do you care? You're busy living your life the way you want, and you may decide not to take him back, anyway. All Dave needs to know is that if you DO take him back, then the rules of behaviour apply. From there, he can make the choice.
Post a Comment