FAT SUCKS

I suck at this whole diet thing.  Always have...that's why I am the way I am now.  I'm good for a day or two...then "fall of the wagon."  I love food.  Always thinking about food.  Obsessing about food.  It's annoying.  I don't know what "normal" is where food is concerned, but that's what I want to be.  I want to be able to eat without overeating, I want to be able to have the things I like in moderation...but once I start eating ANYTHING with carbs...it's done.  I can't even do just the one meal a day with carbs...because I get out of control.  Then I just want more. I can't "carb cycle" for the same reason.  Maybe if I had money to get low carb food with, it would be different?  Who knows.  Right now, we eat what we have to eat.  Which is pretty much nothing low carb.   I binge...way too much. I haven't been exercising, but have been drinking more water.  I'm just basically disgusted with myself, food, being fat, etc.  I just need to figure out what works & do it.  I just so need to figure this out.