I'm in one of those "moods" I get too often. I don't want to talk to anyone...yet feel the need to be held and taken care of. It's crazy. I don't know where these feelings come from. Nights are sometimes worse. Just feel like my soul is lonely. So dramatic, I know.
The boys, hubby and I went to Colorado Springs for the weekend. It's our annual vacation.:) It was fun and nice to get away. The boys had a good time and so did we. I like the family time that we get..wish we could have more of it...just us. The boys will be grown and out of the house in the blink of an eye. Then where will I be? Lost. Wait, am I not lost now? Not really. I have my lonely, confused moments, but I know that people love me and care about me and that helps. One day, those people won't be here...don't even like to think about that.
I'm supposed to meet a guy from Vail tomorrow. I don't know if I will or how that will go. He's 52. Older than I would like, but he may end up being a great guy. I have met some cool male friends thru all of this and for that I'm thankful. I think that I need too much attention though. So just finding "one other guy" isn't plausible for me. I need variety and excitement. I suppose that makes me a slut...but it is what it is. I always look forward to new encounters and the rush of meeting someone for the first time...the chemistry, the feeling I get inside...but afterwards...I don't feel so great about myself. Though I have no intention of stopping..so I bring it on myself.
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