WEIGH IN

I'm happy to report that I'm down another pound.:)  Though I wish I was down another 5...I know, I know...I didn't gain it all in a week.LOL  Just have never had much patience.  But I'm very happy to   see a loss.  I have decided to mostly just work out 4 days a week for now as I was getting burned out doing it every day.  Though I will try to do at least something physical every day.  So workout out days will be Thursday-Sunday & weigh ins will continue to be on Wednesdays. 

It's cold out today...though I guess I should expect that since it IS the end of November!!  But we have had really nice weather here until the past few days.  Even now, it's sunny out.  This is Colorado...yet we haven't gotten any snow yet this season...the ski area hasn't been able to open yet.  It's pretty crazy.  I don't want a ton of snow, but some would be nice. 

I'm looking forward to going to Colorado Springs on the 12th to do some shopping & maybe catch a movie or two.  I figure I will get a room for the night & come back the 13th.  I'm hoping that the weather will be decent for that.  Will I see JM while I'm there?  Who knows.  Guess that's on him.  I need to get used to doing things & going places by myself again.  Then I also look on forward to shopping on-line some next week (after I get paid)...I LOVE Amazon.com...but need to be careful I don't blow a lot of money.LOL 

Phillip is home sick again today...was up most of the night.  I will be getting a letter from the school soon I'm sure.  If they miss 10 days or more during a semester..you have to go before a board or somehing.  I believe that this is his 10th day.  I get frustrated with him sometimes.  I know that some of the days, he's actually been sick...but other days...well I wasn't born yesterday.  Plus I used to do the same thing when I was in school...though we didn't get in trouble for it back then like they do now.  I graduated, so I don't know what the issue is.  Though I know he doesn't try hard enough.  He can do the work, I think that he just chooses not to.:(

YES I AM.....

I know & I'm sure everyone who reads my blog knows...that I'm an idiot.  OK, maybe that's a bit harsh.  I'm just so tired of being alone.  I know that I don't NEED a man to complete me or whatever, but the thing is I WANT one.LOL  Yeah JM & I are "together" if you can call it that, but that's a whole weird situation.  Nobody who was thin, beautiful, had a ton of self-confidence, etc. would put up with that weird situation.  But that's not me.   It's frustrating & hard to deal with.  So I'm just trying to back off some.  I was never one that could just leave a person or situation even if it was the wise choice to do so.  I haven't quite figured out the things between JM & I.  Maybe one day it will become clear.  For now, I'm just trying to lose some weight, take care of my kids, not lose my house, make some extra money to get caught up on some bills, enjoy every moment of the day, etc.  Work is going OK.  Some days are harder than others.  I have found if I take an Aleve as soon as my back or feet start to hurt, then I'm good for the rest of the day.  It's a relief that I found something that works.  I sometimes have to drink one of those 5 hour energy drinks to get going..but try not to rely on them too much.  My mom hasn't been feeling good the past couple of days...she won't go the doctor because she's so fucking stubborn.  If it was me, she would be hounding me to go to the doctor.  I worry about her.  My step-dad isn't doing that great.  He's always cold & doesn't feel that good.  His daughter & granddaughter are coming up from Texas at the end of December....just hope everything goes OK until then.  I just want everyone to be healthy...but guess that's not going to happen at this point in time.  Christy is always with Dave now it seems.  Am I jealous?  No.  Am I annoyed that he can just find someone so easily both times & he's hardly ever been alone?  Yes I am.  I think I have talked about that before.  It's like so fucking effortless for him.  For me....well I haven't had a "real" relationship since Dave left...so 3 years ago.  Get tired of being alone.

Went up & saw my friend, Mike the othe day. He got married in August.  They seem to be doing good, which is awesome, considering his first wife was a psycho.  He still has to deal with her since they have kids together.  His new wife seems to really care about the kids, so that is a good thing.  Mike & I have been friends for years.  I was friends with his brother first...since he used to hang out with my sister, Cindy.  So Mike is a bit younger than me...31 I believe.  Am I ever friends with people my own age or older?  Not very often.LOL  If Mike & I had ever been single at the same time, I would have totally gone out with him & he has said the same about me.  But that isn't going to happen in this life.  I'm glad he's found his happiness.

I'm upset with my sister Bev.  I know that she is a private person & lives her own life.  But hell we're sisters.  At least she talks to mom some and went down for Thanksgiving dinner.  She usually doesn't answer my texts anymore, which bugs the crap out of me.  I'm tired of not mattering to people.

FMM: DEAR SANTA

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Dear Santa: List at least ten things that you may or may not need that you’d love to find under your tree this year!

1.  Tickets to Vegas would be nice!!  I LOVE the place!!:)

 

 

2.  Some cool bright shoes...reminds me of the 80's....sigh.LOL  Though I may be a little old to pull it off.

3.  Tickets to a Luke Bryan Concert!!

4.  A book about Carole Landis...she was a star in "Old Hollywood."  Just have wanted the book for awhile!!LOL

5.   A New Orleans Saints Jersey that fits me!!:)

 

6.  Pink Camoflauge Pants...have no idea why...but I want some!!LOL

7.  Cash is always good!!:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 8.  A cool 80's shirt would be good!!:)  The whole outfit would look kinda silly on me though!!

 

 

 

9.   All seasons of Supernatural!!

 

 

 

10.  Perhaps a Skull ring...I know..weird.LOL

 

 

 

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s question! Try to come up with at least ten things that you love, but feel free to share as many as you’d like! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Also be sure to take a few minutes to say hi to someone new. I want everyone here to know they’re loved, and I know you all feel the same way!

 

THANKSGIVING

I hope that everyone had a very Happy Thanksgiving.:)  Mine went well.  I made deviled eggs & went & had dinner at moms'.   It was nice & everyone had a good time.  I didn't eat a lot, but ate enough.  I love mashed potatoes!!  But those are the last I will have for awhile.  I had to go to work at 7:30pm-11:30pm.  Wal Mart started having sales at 8:00pm.  It was crazy!!!  I was soooo stressed...but did OK.  I can't imagine what it would be like to work in a city at this time of year.  It was insane enough here.  Everyone was pretty nice even though they had to stand in lines for forever it seemed.  I have to go back to work at noon.  It's almost 5:00am now & I haven't been to sleep yet!!LOL  So after I write this, I'm headed to bed for a few hours.  I did get in my exercise before going to moms,' so I'm proud of myself for that.  If you noticed where I put my weight loss...I erased a bunch of them, because for the past year I have gone between 302-318 lbs & that's it...up & down.  Just didn't seem to be that serious about it, but I am now.  So have pretty much started that over.  I will record my weight once a week again for now.  My first goal is 299 lbs...at least I would be below 300!  I'm hoping for that by at least December 10th.  Then go from there.

JM...it's still confusing.  I just can't give that up right now.  Maybe one of these days I will, but for now...just still totally into him &  I don't want to lie about it.  I know it's not the best situation & there is quite a bit that we have to work out.  Will see how it goes.  There has to be some major effort on his part or it's just not going to work.  I have about come to the end of my patience.  He wants to be in a relationship with me, but doesn't want to put the effort into it from my point of view.  We had a bit of an argument on the phone a couple of nights ago...some things were said (by him) that I can't just let go.  You should really watch what you say, because you can't take back words after they are spoken.  He apologized....but the fact is, he said them.  When you're angry or drunk...the truth comes out....or at least more of the truth than usually does.  One thing he did bring up that I totally agree with is that I talk about Dave & what his going on with him or what is going on with him & the kids.  I'm making a total effort to stop that.  Right now, I just don't know how I feel about everything.  Will have to take some time & really think about it & what I want.

I got off of work tonight & then went to moms' for a few.  The younger two are staying with her tonight.  I then went to get Phillip at Daves'.  I have had a headlight out on the jeep for a couple of weeks now.  I have to wait awhile longer before I can get it fixed.  Well on the way home, I got pulled over (I had been trying to avoid that).LOL  He just let me know that my headlight was out & checked my license & registration.  I couldn't find my friggin' proof of insurance.  But he ran the other & saw that I did have insurance.  He just told me to make sure that I had it with me next time.  No ticket or anything...whew!  He was really nice.  I haven't seen him around here before, so maybe he's one of the newer ones.  Some of the older ones are total jerks.

Well have to get up in a few hours, so will go for now.  Hope everyone has a great weekend!!:)

FMM: THANKSGIVING EDITION

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Thanksgiving Edition

1. Do you have any Thanksgiving traditions?  We don't really have any tradtions.  My grandma used to fix dinner..along with my moms' help & a lot of our family would show up.  Now it's mostly my mom & step-dad fixing dinner...though I help some as well. 
2. List at least three dishes that are on your family’s table every year. Real mashed potatoes (instead of the box), this orange salad that my mom makes....has orange jello, cottage cheese, walnuts...it may sound kinda gross...but it's really good!!LOL  Also cranberries, of course.:)
3. Do you prefer pumpkin pie or pecan pie?  I LOVE Pecan Pie!!  Pumpkin is OK...but it seriously gives me a heartburn...have no idea why.
4. Will you watch football on Thanksgiving Day? Most likely not.
5. Do you plan to exercise Thursday?  Yes I do...will get up early enough to exercise to a DVD before going to help mom with dinner.
6. Do you prefer ham or turkey?  I totally prefer Turkey....don't like ham much at all.
7. Will you shop on Black Friday?  Nope...just don't have the money.  I have to work it though..since I'm working at Wal Mart for the Holidays.:)
8. Do you take a nap on Thanksgiving? Hell, I take a nap every day!!LOL  JK.  Yes I plan on taking a nap since I have to work a few hours that night.
9. Share one dish that probably won’t be on anyone else’s table.  Not sure......
10. What are you thankful for today?  I'm thankful for a lot of things.  Thankful that I have a job so I can have extra money for Christmas...and to get caught up on a few bills.  Thankful that I'm finally losing some weight & have some motivation for that.  Thankful for my family, for JM, for all of my friends.  Thankful that I have another day to live.:)

Now it’s your turn to post the questions on your blog! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday, and happy Thanksgiving!

LIFE....

Things are going pretty well.  Can't really complain.  I have been working a lot.  I don't have another day off until next Wednesday.  I worked tonight until 10:00pm.  It was pretty busy since it's the night before Thanksgiving.  We are having dinner at my moms' tomorrow around noon.  I have to work tomorrow night from 7:30pm-11:30pm...should be pretty busy since that's when the sales start.  It will be nice to be able to spend the day with my family.  My sister, Bev & her fiancee, Carlo will be there along with her two daughters.  Then me & my 3 boys, mom & my step-dad & a couple of other people.  My niece Justine & her boyfriend, Andy are supposed to be there as well...but who knows if they will show up or not. 

Things are going pretty well with the exercise & diet thing.  It's easier not to overeat when I'm working.  I had worked at Wal Mart before from October 2004-April 2006.  After I had stopped working there, I had gained like 75 lbs!!  Kept that on for a few years...still trying to lose the rest of THAT & then go from there.  I have found that exercise is becoming more of a habit now...which is good.  I just need to keep it up.

Phillip probably needs glasses.  I need to get him in to see an eye doctor soon.  He was squinting at school last week, trying to see something & the teacher noticed.  So she wanted him to see the school nurse, which he did yesterday.  She called me & told me that in one eye his vision is 20/50 & in the other it's 20/63!  So yeah...I had better get him in & get them checked.  Probably why he has headaches a lot of the time.  He likes to read.  Also should get his blood sugar checked.  Diabetes runs in both sides of the family.  When I told Dave about Phillips' eyes...yes he was concerned, but then he had to piss me off by saying "that's just going to cost me more money now for glasses."  Whatever.  Tired of him bitching about things like that.  It's not like he pays for a lot of their stuff now.  Phillip is having issues with Dave because Christy is always around now.  Phillip just wants to spend time with Dave without her constantly being there.  But I'm going to leave that between them.  I'm tired of dealing with Dave & all the friggin' drama.

JM & I are doing OK...just taking it one day at a time.  I don't know if it will really go anywhere, but having him in my life makes me happy.  Whether it's as a friend or more...it doesn't really matter right now.  I would like more with him, but I just don't see that happening.  So will just "go with the flow" & not worry about the rest of it.  I WOULD like some passion & all that good stuff in my life at least one more time in this life...so will just hope that happens one of these days.

Hope everyone one has a very Happy Thanksgiving!:)

FMM: WHAT'S IN YOUR FRIDGE?

I'm way late on this for this week!!LOL



If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

What’s in Your Fridge?

1. List a few common items that can always be found in your fridge.   Milk, diet coke, butter, eggs, some kind of juice, bacon, lunchmeat, vegetables sometimes.:)

2. What kind of milk do you drink? Skim…my kids don't pay attention to it, unless they drink the whole milk at moms' for awhile...then they don't like ours.

3. Do you prefer fresh or frozen vegetables?  Fresh is good...but expensive.  So usually get frozen when I get them.

4. What do you currently have to drink in the fridge? Skim milk...I need to go shopping!!LOL

5. How often do you clean out your refrigerator?  I hate to admit it, but not very often.  I really need to stay on top of that.

6. What’s the healthiest thing in it right now? Tomatoes 

7. What’s the most unhealthy thing in it right now?  Probably the lunch meat!

8. What do you wish you had in it that you don’t have now? Biscuits...but I don't need them anyway.

9. How often do you shop for groceries? A few times a week....I get a little here & there..I know I shouldn't do that.  I do get a lot more groceries at the beginning of the month.

10. What’s the weirdest thing in your fridge right now? Nothing really

Bonus: If you could choose one thing to put in the fridge and make it calorie-free what would it be?  Frozen Coconut or Banana Cream pie!!;)

Now it’s your turn! Don’t forget to answer the questions and come back to post a link in the comments section! Happy Monday!