It's actually snowing here today. I know this is Colorado...and you would think that we get a ton of snow. We used to..but not anymore. It has been VERY dry here the past few years. This is the most snow that we have gotten since last Spring. The shocking thing is...it's STILL snowing!LOL Usually it starts a little, then the wind comes up & blows it out of here. We only have a few inches right now, but it's better than nothing. I'm supposed to go to Colorado Springs tomorrow with mom & Duke for his doctors' appt...but not sure if we're going or not now..the roads may be pretty crappy. Then I was supposed to go down there on Thursday to spend Valentine's Day with JM...he may not be too happy if I'm not able to. He had a chance to go to Seattle & then to California with his friends this weekend...but he gave that up, because we had already made plans for Valentine's Day...so let's hope I can go. The past couple of days haven't been great for us. He's stressed out over something, but doesn't feel the need to share it with me..so basically he's just not talking to me much. Which annoys me, but you can't make someone do something that they don't want to do or feel something that they don't. I'm just basically trying to get thru the days at the moment. Sometimes life is like that. This is one of those times for me. I find no joy in things, don't look forward to anything, etc. I know that it'll pass sooner or later...just hope that it's sooner rather than later.
I have to work at 5:30pm today...I would rather just work in the mornings & get it over with. Can't really complain though, I don't have many hours this week.
Dominic & Matthew stayed home today. They aren't feeling great. Phillip went to school..which is a good thing. He didn't want to, but at least he's going. Let's hope that he keeps it up. Either that or hope that I become a stricter parent.
I lost 4 lbs over the weekend. Which I'm happy about. Just watching carbs...but also taking my "water pills," so maybe it's just water weight..whatever it is...302 is a lot closer to getting out of the 300's & right now, that's my main goal.
.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
ANOTHER WEEK
Can't believe that another week has gone by already! Where does the time go? Well...I have to go into work this morning...I'm sure I will get "reprimanded" because I missed two days this week..even though I had a doctors note. You can only miss 3 days in 6 months & I have now missed like 5. When I'm sick, I'm sick. I worked on Monday..felt like crap...left about 40 minutes early for a doctors' appt. My chest was hurting..sharp pains all the way thru to my back. He said I have "myalgias." He would press on certain points on my body & it HURT. So he told me that I should take the rest of the week off & rest. Has it helped? Not really. I still don't feel "good." He called back not too long after I left the office & told me that he wanted me to get a chest x-ray & a mammogram (my first one)..so did that on the 7th. That was an interesting experience, but not as painful as I thought it was going to be. Of course, I won't hear anything about either of those things for like a week...hate waiting.LOL He also said that I may be starting perimenopause...which I figured as much. I'm sooo thrilled. He says I'm pretty "young" for that, but since I have only one ovary now....that it could happen.
Phillip has been going to school...went 3 out of 4 days this past week! Hey, I'm proud!!LOL He almost got into a fight on Thursday though because this kid called me fat & of course, Phillip felt the need to stick up for me..but the principal heard it as well & took the kid to the office for the rest of the day. Matthew has told me before that some kids in his grade say that to him as well & he also sticks up for me. It breaks my heart that they even have to do that.:( It shouldn't be a problem for them. I'm very ashamed.
I have had a great week at Bingo! Won $125 on Wednesday night & $430 on Thursday night!! Crazy, right?? Plus Dave got his income tax back yesterday & I get my half on Monday, which is cool. Some of it goes to bills. Then this is what I would like to do with some of it..though not sure if I will actually DO them all....get another tattoo, get a "mothers' ring" for myself, get some exercise DVD's off of beachbody.com, get some books I have wanted for a long time off of Amazon & save the rest...after getting a few things for my kids. They have gotten plenty lately.
Mom went to Grand Junction for a couple of days this week to see Cindy & Jasmine. I'm glad that she got to go. It's not very often that she gets to "just go" & especially by herself. Duke just isn't feeling good enough to go.
Mom, Dominic, Matthew & I went to Ft. Carson on the 1st to get Dukes' meds. Matthew wants to be in the military when he grows up. Anyway, we were in the commisary(sp?) & there was an army guy in front of us in his "uniform." I thought Matthew was going to pass out!!LOL It was soo cute! He's like "I have never been this close to an army guy before! I know Duke was in the Army, but he's not anymore!" LOL So the guy was in the lane next to us & he kept looking over, because Matthew was like staring at him, so I finally told the guy that my son would like to meet him. He shook Matthew's hand & talked to him for a bit...you would have thought that he got to meet a celebrity!! I thought he was going to hyperventilate!LOL He kept saying afterward that he couldn't believe that he actually got to meet any army guy.:) It brought tears to my eyes to see him like that. Happy tears, but I just didn't know that something like that would mean so much to him. That guy made his whole year & he probably doesn't even know it. I'm glad that he was a nice guy & not some ass.
I get to spend Valentine's Day with JM.:) I'm happy to see him again for sure (not sure when I will be able to after that again..though I plan on taking the boys down some weekend in March & getting a room..they love doing that...a hotel with an indoor swimming pool..then JM can meet them if he doesn't chicken out or whatever)....it's just a confusing, sometimes stressful situation. I just don't think he knows what it is he wants. He's looking for like a "movie romance" (aren't we all?) or something...& I just don't fit the bill. He does love me & that's a huge thing in my book though. I know everyone is probably tired of hearing about him, but I still need to write about it from time to time.
Oh, I went to Bingo again last night in Buena Vista & hung out with Brad again afterward for about an hour. We just go to his house & hang out & talk. I think he's just lonely. He makes me laugh & I hope I do the same for him. He has some issues he's working thru & I told him that if he ever needs to talk, to let me know. He actually gave me his phone number as well...which was cool. He's a good guy.
Phillip has been going to school...went 3 out of 4 days this past week! Hey, I'm proud!!LOL He almost got into a fight on Thursday though because this kid called me fat & of course, Phillip felt the need to stick up for me..but the principal heard it as well & took the kid to the office for the rest of the day. Matthew has told me before that some kids in his grade say that to him as well & he also sticks up for me. It breaks my heart that they even have to do that.:( It shouldn't be a problem for them. I'm very ashamed.
I have had a great week at Bingo! Won $125 on Wednesday night & $430 on Thursday night!! Crazy, right?? Plus Dave got his income tax back yesterday & I get my half on Monday, which is cool. Some of it goes to bills. Then this is what I would like to do with some of it..though not sure if I will actually DO them all....get another tattoo, get a "mothers' ring" for myself, get some exercise DVD's off of beachbody.com, get some books I have wanted for a long time off of Amazon & save the rest...after getting a few things for my kids. They have gotten plenty lately.
Mom went to Grand Junction for a couple of days this week to see Cindy & Jasmine. I'm glad that she got to go. It's not very often that she gets to "just go" & especially by herself. Duke just isn't feeling good enough to go.
Mom, Dominic, Matthew & I went to Ft. Carson on the 1st to get Dukes' meds. Matthew wants to be in the military when he grows up. Anyway, we were in the commisary(sp?) & there was an army guy in front of us in his "uniform." I thought Matthew was going to pass out!!LOL It was soo cute! He's like "I have never been this close to an army guy before! I know Duke was in the Army, but he's not anymore!" LOL So the guy was in the lane next to us & he kept looking over, because Matthew was like staring at him, so I finally told the guy that my son would like to meet him. He shook Matthew's hand & talked to him for a bit...you would have thought that he got to meet a celebrity!! I thought he was going to hyperventilate!LOL He kept saying afterward that he couldn't believe that he actually got to meet any army guy.:) It brought tears to my eyes to see him like that. Happy tears, but I just didn't know that something like that would mean so much to him. That guy made his whole year & he probably doesn't even know it. I'm glad that he was a nice guy & not some ass.
I get to spend Valentine's Day with JM.:) I'm happy to see him again for sure (not sure when I will be able to after that again..though I plan on taking the boys down some weekend in March & getting a room..they love doing that...a hotel with an indoor swimming pool..then JM can meet them if he doesn't chicken out or whatever)....it's just a confusing, sometimes stressful situation. I just don't think he knows what it is he wants. He's looking for like a "movie romance" (aren't we all?) or something...& I just don't fit the bill. He does love me & that's a huge thing in my book though. I know everyone is probably tired of hearing about him, but I still need to write about it from time to time.
Oh, I went to Bingo again last night in Buena Vista & hung out with Brad again afterward for about an hour. We just go to his house & hang out & talk. I think he's just lonely. He makes me laugh & I hope I do the same for him. He has some issues he's working thru & I told him that if he ever needs to talk, to let me know. He actually gave me his phone number as well...which was cool. He's a good guy.
FMM: FIVE THINGS
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Five Things
1. Share five things you hope to do before you die.
- Go to Ireland
- Be able to wear tighter shirts without having a belly roll.
- Sit on a beach at sunset with my feet buried in the sand & not a care in the world.:)
- See all "movie star" cemeteries in Hollywood & surrounding areas.
- Have one more passionate love.
2. List five things you love about yourself.
- My eyes
- My sense of humor
- My heart...when I love, I love hard.
- My unique kind of craziness.;)
- My height?LOL I really had a hard time coming up with another thing!!
3. Share the five coolest things that you’ve done in 2013.
- Haven't lost my job yet?LOL I haven't done a lot of cool things in 2013 yet....they are still to come. Ask me this question in December.;)
4. List five things that you always have in your kitchen.
- coffee pot
- microwave
- Cinnamon candle
- Kitchen Table
- can opener
5. Share five places you would like to go on vacation.
- Turks & Caicos....I have seen pics...very nice.;)
- A cruise of the Bahamas
- Ireland...are you tired of hearing that yet?LOL
- Hawaii
- Australia
6. List five celebrities/public figures you’d like to meet.
- Sandra Bullock
- Jeffery Dean Morgan
- Katherine Heigl
- Luke Bryan....so hot!!:)
- Jodie Foster...have always liked her.
7. List five bands or artists you’d like to see perform live.
- Nickelback
- Luke Bryan
- Def Leppard...hey I didn't get to see them in the 80's!LOL
- Rob Thomas
- Skillet maybe...there are quite a few others as well.
8. List five TV shows that you don’t want to miss.
- Supernatural...though I have missed too many this season.
- Person of Interest
- Chicago Fire...LOVE that show!
- NCIS: Los Angeles
- Blue Bloods
9. Share five things you wanted to do as a child.
- Be a nurse
- Be a psychologist
- Be a truck driver...LOL..does anyone remember "BJ & The Bear?"
- Live in a bookstore.;)
- Move to California
10. Share five things you hope to do in 2013.
- Go on a cruise
- Get down to at least 245
- Go to Las Vegas again..haven't been in a couple of years.
- Move to a different town
- Go to my Job Corps reunion in Montana in September.
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday, friends!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
FMM: GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
Now it’s that time…If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Getting To Know Each Other
1. What is your favorite color? Blue, purple & green
2. Share one or more of your talents. I'm good at researching stuff?LOL I don't really know. Don't believe I have many talents.
3. If you were spending the day getting to know someone new, where would you want to go? A cafe for coffee or maybe a park to hang out.
4. What is your favorite meal? Hamburgers.;)
5. Do you prefer to text or talk? Depends on the person.
6. Share something about yourself that might surprise someone that you’re getting to know. I like cemeteries.
7. Do you color your hair? Yes...usually blonde.
8. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses
9. What is your favorite breakfast food? Used to be bacon & eggs..but eggs make me sick now for some reason...so BACON.:) Has to be crisp though.
10. Would your friends say that you’re sarcastic? Very...I have a sarcastic sense of humor...that few people get or appreciate.
11. Do you prefer salty or sweet? Salty.
12. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes & smile
13. What is the last movie you watched? I watched a few movies over the weekend. Last one though was the "Halloween" written by Rob Zombie.
14. Are you religious? I believe in God, but I'm not religious.
15. Are you a neat freak, a slob, or somewhere in between? As a Virgo, I'm supposed to be a neat freak. I would LIKE a neat house...but don't think that's going to happen any time soon. I have hoarder tendencies that I'm working on..so guess somewhere in between.
16. Share something from your bucket list that you hope to do someday. There are two things that I really want to do. Go to Ireland is one. Go to the "movie star" cemeteries in Hollywood & surrounding areas is another.
17. Are you a risk taker, or do you prefer to play it safe? I have always played it safe...which sucks. Would rather be a risk taker.
18. Have you ever worn braces? No, but I should have in Junior High instead of retainers..complete waste of my parents' money...I hardly ever kept them in.:(
19. Would you rather spend an evening at a theater or at a club? If I were thinner...definitely a club.
20. If you could have three wishes, what would one of them be? Gonna have to agree with Kenlie here.... health, wealth and love.
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday!
2. Share one or more of your talents. I'm good at researching stuff?LOL I don't really know. Don't believe I have many talents.
3. If you were spending the day getting to know someone new, where would you want to go? A cafe for coffee or maybe a park to hang out.
4. What is your favorite meal? Hamburgers.;)
5. Do you prefer to text or talk? Depends on the person.
6. Share something about yourself that might surprise someone that you’re getting to know. I like cemeteries.
7. Do you color your hair? Yes...usually blonde.
8. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses
9. What is your favorite breakfast food? Used to be bacon & eggs..but eggs make me sick now for some reason...so BACON.:) Has to be crisp though.
10. Would your friends say that you’re sarcastic? Very...I have a sarcastic sense of humor...that few people get or appreciate.
11. Do you prefer salty or sweet? Salty.
12. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes & smile
13. What is the last movie you watched? I watched a few movies over the weekend. Last one though was the "Halloween" written by Rob Zombie.
14. Are you religious? I believe in God, but I'm not religious.
15. Are you a neat freak, a slob, or somewhere in between? As a Virgo, I'm supposed to be a neat freak. I would LIKE a neat house...but don't think that's going to happen any time soon. I have hoarder tendencies that I'm working on..so guess somewhere in between.
16. Share something from your bucket list that you hope to do someday. There are two things that I really want to do. Go to Ireland is one. Go to the "movie star" cemeteries in Hollywood & surrounding areas is another.
17. Are you a risk taker, or do you prefer to play it safe? I have always played it safe...which sucks. Would rather be a risk taker.
18. Have you ever worn braces? No, but I should have in Junior High instead of retainers..complete waste of my parents' money...I hardly ever kept them in.:(
19. Would you rather spend an evening at a theater or at a club? If I were thinner...definitely a club.
20. If you could have three wishes, what would one of them be? Gonna have to agree with Kenlie here.... health, wealth and love.
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday!
Friday, January 25, 2013
FEELING DISGUSTING.....
I'm going to see JM tomorrow..well I guess its today now... for the weekend. On my way, I'm going to drop some things off at Goodwill in a town about an hour from here. Anyway...when I buy shirts...my mom always asks me why I need another shirt, since I have so many in my closet. So I decided to go through all of my shirts & get rid of the ones that don't fit anymore or that I know I won't wear. It was depressing. It reminded me of being a kid & having to go to stores & try on clothes..where nothing ever fit right. All the cool clothes were too tight for me. So had to wear the uncool ones. Still feels that way. I wish I had never tried on ANY shirts tonight. I just feel like a fat blob. I can't say that I hate myself, because I don't. I used to...but pretty much got over that. Now I'm just disgusted with myself. So I have like a total of around 10 shirts. I have also found that I might as well not even buy womens' shirts, because even if I buy them big...as soon as I wash them they shrink...then are too tight & look ridiculous. So I buy men's t-shirts with "funny" sayings on them or skulls or some weird stuff like that. Maybe they look "cool," but it would be nice to look good at least sometimes.
I have too much on my mind these days & now me feeling "icky..." well it doesn't help. JM texted & asked me today what has been going on, since for the past few days or so, I haven't said that I loved him unless he said it first & that I was "short" on the phone Wednesday night. I don't know the answers to that really. You can only take so much rejection...and just certain things were said before...it changes feelings sometimes. I don't know if that's what's going on with me or not, but right now...I'm just overwhelmed with life.
Phillip has a doctor's appt in Pueblo today...Dave is taking him. He's back to not going to school again. Guess I will ask the school if I can try to help him at home & then just turn his homework in. I don't know if they will go for that or not. I know it's "the law" that he goes to school. But I would rather get in trouble, then to have my kid be miserable enough to think about killing himself.
My house is also most likely going into foreclosure on Feb. 13th. I'm about 4 months behind. I have been paying on it now & was going to try to make a double payment next month with the income tax, to get a bit more caught up..but they are saying that if I don't have the full amount due or if they don't have a program to help me, then they can't (won't) stop the foreclosure. Well they have already said that they don't have a program to help me. I have no idea where I will go. I don't want to lose the kids. But I won't have them homeless with me. I will figure something out...always do. JM asked if there was anything he could do to help...it was nice of him to ask, but there really isn't. We had been talking before about me moving down there & moving in together with my kids. Well he hasn't even met my kids yet. There have been a couple of times that I had planned for him to meet them, but then for whatever reason, it fell through. So I doubt we will be moving in together anytime soon, if at all.
The health of my step-dad is weighing on my mind as well. It's just not good. Of course, they won't give us a time frame...though I think we would all rather know. Wouldn't you want to know how long you had? His bloodwork isn't good, whatever that means. He can't have ANY salt at all, not much liquid either..only a certain amount a day. He goes to the doctor in the Springs again on the 12th...don't really know what they're going to do or say that hasn't already been done or said. I can't imagine him not being around. Phillip is having a really hard time seeing him sick. The other two as well..though they don't talk about it much. It's like seeing their grandpa (Daves' dad) all over again & that didn't end with a happy ending. He has been in my life & around for me for longer than my real dad was. I won't go into all of that right now...but dad left when I was 12. We saw him once a week for "visitation" for a few years after that & only because the judge ordered him to. Things were a bit better when I was older...but he should have been there, at least emotionally, the whole time. My step-dad has been in our lives for 16+ years. Just hard to see people get older...get sicker.
I just need a break from everything for awhile. But don't see that happening anytime soon.
I have too much on my mind these days & now me feeling "icky..." well it doesn't help. JM texted & asked me today what has been going on, since for the past few days or so, I haven't said that I loved him unless he said it first & that I was "short" on the phone Wednesday night. I don't know the answers to that really. You can only take so much rejection...and just certain things were said before...it changes feelings sometimes. I don't know if that's what's going on with me or not, but right now...I'm just overwhelmed with life.
Phillip has a doctor's appt in Pueblo today...Dave is taking him. He's back to not going to school again. Guess I will ask the school if I can try to help him at home & then just turn his homework in. I don't know if they will go for that or not. I know it's "the law" that he goes to school. But I would rather get in trouble, then to have my kid be miserable enough to think about killing himself.
My house is also most likely going into foreclosure on Feb. 13th. I'm about 4 months behind. I have been paying on it now & was going to try to make a double payment next month with the income tax, to get a bit more caught up..but they are saying that if I don't have the full amount due or if they don't have a program to help me, then they can't (won't) stop the foreclosure. Well they have already said that they don't have a program to help me. I have no idea where I will go. I don't want to lose the kids. But I won't have them homeless with me. I will figure something out...always do. JM asked if there was anything he could do to help...it was nice of him to ask, but there really isn't. We had been talking before about me moving down there & moving in together with my kids. Well he hasn't even met my kids yet. There have been a couple of times that I had planned for him to meet them, but then for whatever reason, it fell through. So I doubt we will be moving in together anytime soon, if at all.
The health of my step-dad is weighing on my mind as well. It's just not good. Of course, they won't give us a time frame...though I think we would all rather know. Wouldn't you want to know how long you had? His bloodwork isn't good, whatever that means. He can't have ANY salt at all, not much liquid either..only a certain amount a day. He goes to the doctor in the Springs again on the 12th...don't really know what they're going to do or say that hasn't already been done or said. I can't imagine him not being around. Phillip is having a really hard time seeing him sick. The other two as well..though they don't talk about it much. It's like seeing their grandpa (Daves' dad) all over again & that didn't end with a happy ending. He has been in my life & around for me for longer than my real dad was. I won't go into all of that right now...but dad left when I was 12. We saw him once a week for "visitation" for a few years after that & only because the judge ordered him to. Things were a bit better when I was older...but he should have been there, at least emotionally, the whole time. My step-dad has been in our lives for 16+ years. Just hard to see people get older...get sicker.
I just need a break from everything for awhile. But don't see that happening anytime soon.
"You know, the smallest thing can change a life. In the blink of an eye, something happens by chance - and when you least expect it - since we're on a course that you could have never planned, into a future you never imagined. Where will it take you? That's the journey of our lives: our search for the light. But sometimes, finding the light means you must past through the deepest darkness. At least, that's how it was for me." ~~The Lucky One
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
ONE DAY AT A TIME....
I don't know how some people can just "go with the flow," do the one day at a time thing, etc. Now I am trying to be more like this, but I just wasn't born that way. I have been a worrier since I was a kid. I know that things will work out the way they're supposed to, that I"m where I'm supposed to be in my life right now, that things happen for a reason & that some things are already destined. That we have some control over things, but that some things were "written" before we were born. Yes I do believe that. But it's hard for me when I don't at least FEEL in control of things...even if I'm not in control of them at all. I want things to work out the way that I want them to work out. I don't like change, don't like surprises..well it depends on what kind of surprise!LOL Don't like the "unknown." I guess that makes me a pretty boring person at times...I don't know. I have wished that I was more adventurous, more spontaneous, more "go with the flow." But I'm just not like that. Though I do try to live one day at at time (sometimes one minute at a time), enjoy what every day brings, live more in the moment, etc. I just have to try somehow to just chill out. Just not sure how.
The weight thing....I get so annoyed. It's up, it's down..why can't it just stay down??? Sometimes I feel huge, sometimes not so huge. It annoys me too that we all have to worry about the way we look so much. We should just accept people for who they are not what they look like, but we don't.
Going to see JM this weekend again. Just like hanging out with him. So maybe that's all it will be in the end. Who knows. I hung out with a couple of guy friends last weekend. I go to Bingo on Friday nights in another town close to here. That's where I met Brad. So we have known each other for awhile. We have just talked, laughed, joked around there. Well last Friday, he invited back to his place after Bingo for coffee & maybe a drink or two. So I went. It's just totally a friend thing. He's not looking for anything & I have JM. We talked for awhile, hung out. I had a couple of drinks, so didn't want to drive 24 miles home. So I slept on his couch. Not the most comfortable thing. Left early the next morning, because I wanted to watch the boys bowl. It would be cool to hang out with Brad some more, but not sure how that will go. It might just be a "Bingo thing." LOL Then Saturday night, my friend Adam asked me to go over and hang out. I have mentioned him before. Met him at the end of last May. We have hung out a few times since then, going to the mountains, etc. So I went over there. Believe me, if he had wanted a relationship with me before JM came into the picture, I would have sooo been there. But we're just friends. I'm not his type..geez am I anyones' type??LOL Adam & I are comfortable with each other & will hang out some more.
It's been beautiful here! More like Spring. I know it won't last, but trying to enjoy it while it does! I have only worked one day this week..yesterday. Then tomorrow night...So not many hours. It's all good though.
The weight thing....I get so annoyed. It's up, it's down..why can't it just stay down??? Sometimes I feel huge, sometimes not so huge. It annoys me too that we all have to worry about the way we look so much. We should just accept people for who they are not what they look like, but we don't.
Going to see JM this weekend again. Just like hanging out with him. So maybe that's all it will be in the end. Who knows. I hung out with a couple of guy friends last weekend. I go to Bingo on Friday nights in another town close to here. That's where I met Brad. So we have known each other for awhile. We have just talked, laughed, joked around there. Well last Friday, he invited back to his place after Bingo for coffee & maybe a drink or two. So I went. It's just totally a friend thing. He's not looking for anything & I have JM. We talked for awhile, hung out. I had a couple of drinks, so didn't want to drive 24 miles home. So I slept on his couch. Not the most comfortable thing. Left early the next morning, because I wanted to watch the boys bowl. It would be cool to hang out with Brad some more, but not sure how that will go. It might just be a "Bingo thing." LOL Then Saturday night, my friend Adam asked me to go over and hang out. I have mentioned him before. Met him at the end of last May. We have hung out a few times since then, going to the mountains, etc. So I went over there. Believe me, if he had wanted a relationship with me before JM came into the picture, I would have sooo been there. But we're just friends. I'm not his type..geez am I anyones' type??LOL Adam & I are comfortable with each other & will hang out some more.
It's been beautiful here! More like Spring. I know it won't last, but trying to enjoy it while it does! I have only worked one day this week..yesterday. Then tomorrow night...So not many hours. It's all good though.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
TRIALS...
Well the visit with JM didn't go that great. First...I was planning on leaving early in the morning of 10th...that didn't happen. My mom wanted me to help her clean this house that she cleans weekly...she knew I was leaving that day..so not sure what that was all about. So ended up leaving around 1:00pm & not getting there until about 3:00pm. We had a nice time just talking, cuddling & watching the movie "Snow White & The Huntsman." Then we went & laid down & talked some more. He can't sleep in the same room as me, because I snore too loudly. I hate that. It's not like it's something that I can help.:( Might try some of those "Breathe Right" strips or whatever sometime. Anyway, the weather hasn't been great around here lately..very cold & a bit of snow..not a lot, but enough to make the roads icy. There is a road between here & Canon City...that is horrible to drive on when it's icy..it's right next to a river..which freaks me out. Anyway..I heard it was pretty bad the morning of the 11th & that there was supposed to be more snow coming in later that day. So instead of staying for an extra day, I left on the 11th around 2:00pm. That was bad enough, but before I left...I wanted to "talk" about things & how everything was going. I was in tears most of the time..and I don't cry in front of ANYONE if I can help it. Just some things that were bothering me. So when I left, it was basically "over" between us & we were just going to be friends. I gave it a lot of thought later that day & night & knew that I was too far gone to just let it be a "friend thing." So I texted him & also talked to him on the phone & let him know how I felt. He said that he wasn't sure what was going on in his life right now & he had to figure a few things out...one of those being if he wanted to get back into a relationship with me. I brought it on myself, so I was just trying to deal with that. We continued texting & all. Then last night, he told me that he DID want to restart the relationship with me. That made me happy. I don't know where it will go or how far, but for right now..this is what I want. I have had offers around here for a FWB...just not interested in that. I want love & sex...don't think it's right for me to have to choose. But if I did...well love is an important thing at this point in my life.
Phillip has been a little better about going to school...just hope that he keeps it up.
Things with my ex are stressing me out a bit. He thinks that we should "hook up" once a week or so even though we are both in relationships, because then it's just "between us" & it's "not like we're cheating on each other." WTH?? Don't know why he's doing this, except he says that I'm "freakier" than her....whatever that means. Sorry if it's too much info.LOL
They have cut my hours at Wal Mart A LOT for the next few weeks at least. It's OK for now...have some things to get done, but hopefully will pick up again soon.
I still haven't been feeling great...just wish the nausea would go away really.
Phillip has been a little better about going to school...just hope that he keeps it up.
Things with my ex are stressing me out a bit. He thinks that we should "hook up" once a week or so even though we are both in relationships, because then it's just "between us" & it's "not like we're cheating on each other." WTH?? Don't know why he's doing this, except he says that I'm "freakier" than her....whatever that means. Sorry if it's too much info.LOL
They have cut my hours at Wal Mart A LOT for the next few weeks at least. It's OK for now...have some things to get done, but hopefully will pick up again soon.
I still haven't been feeling great...just wish the nausea would go away really.
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